Still a Virgin in your Twenties? Some Advice... Watch

TheBBQ
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#21
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#21
(Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
Nope, that's def someone else
Hmm I did think it was you, since you're the one doing the PhD in music.. I must have been severely confused.

Is it by choice, if I can ask?
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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#22
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(Original post by TheBBQ)
Hmm I did think it was you, since you're the one doing the PhD in music.. I must have been severely confused.

Is it by choice, if I can ask?
Maybe you were thinking of meenu87 ? I believe she's Asian and married :yep:

It is, though not really anything to do with my religious beliefs - more to do with my mental health issues :yes:
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TheBBQ
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#23
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(Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
Maybe you were thinking of meenu87 ? I believe she's Asian and married :yep:

It is, though not really anything to do with my religious beliefs - more to do with my mental health issues :yes:
No, I despise her. You're fine though :laugh:

Oh I'm sorry :console: feel free to throw a rant at my way if you want to talk about it.
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itsme2017
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#24
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#24
(Original post by Flyingaround)
I'm 30+ and a virgin too but doesn't matter. I don't have the things (personality or body wise) for people in my country so i travelled to the east and found that i fitted in there more, people more acted like me. I'm still working on making friends, or strengthening those friendships.
You look hot.
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miqrojamie
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#25
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#25
I feel it is stupid that males are expected to lose their virginity at a young age and that in social terms people can be pressured into doing it even if they don't want to. My main advice would be to stand up and think for yourself and don't worry about those ignorant people that think you have to lose virginity to be a 'real man' or whatever, they're just as immature as the lower end of secondary school...
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za_1234
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#26
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#26
it does not matter just dont try to spoil yourself in someone hands without marriage and make your life busy in some activity
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UniWasEz
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#27
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#27
Not a virgin, but I disagree so much with "it has its advantages"
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Jack22031994
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#28
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#28
(Original post by UniWasEz)
Not a virgin, but I disagree so much with "it has its advantages"
Thats fair. I stand by my point though. `
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Anonymous #2
#29
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#29
(Original post by Jack22031994)
you end up hating drinking games, especially ones like ‘Never Have I Ever’, as they always end up sexual which makes it difficult to take part to the point you don't want to as you cant join in.
This I can relate too.
I go out occasionally with work collegues to the pub for a few hours, not out out, but nearly always they all want to play never have I ever, but then it gets awkward as they have to remember ive not done anything sexual, so they have to 'dumb' it down and throw in 'normal' things that I could drink too, while the rest get hammered off their sexual exploits.
Bare in mind for starters im in my mid-30's now which makes it awkward enough, then having everyone remind me about my predicament, and then the depression of hearing what everyone else has got up too in the bedroom (or elsewhere!) and feeling like ive 'missed out'..
As soon as that name gets mentioned, I instantly want to go home!
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Anonymous #3
#30
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#30
This post made me feel so much better about myself. I'm 20 and a virgin and one of the only ones in my group of friends and it's not for religious reasons, I'm just not the type of girl to throw myself at just any guy who gives me attention and I was always a bit shy. Of course, I got bullied and peer pressured by my friends because of this, but it's not something I can help you know? It just hasn't happened yet and I'm not losing it on a one-night stand.
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Jack22031994
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#31
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#31
(Original post by Anonymous)
This I can relate too.
I go out occasionally with work collegues to the pub for a few hours, not out out, but nearly always they all want to play never have I ever, but then it gets awkward as they have to remember ive not done anything sexual, so they have to 'dumb' it down and throw in 'normal' things that I could drink too, while the rest get hammered off their sexual exploits.
Bare in mind for starters im in my mid-30's now which makes it awkward enough, then having everyone remind me about my predicament, and then the depression of hearing what everyone else has got up too in the bedroom (or elsewhere!) and feeling like ive 'missed out'..
As soon as that name gets mentioned, I instantly want to go home!
Agreed I have done some stuff though at least I guess.

Even if I could take part 'fully,' there are better drinking games anyway
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turbo2696
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#32
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#32
I'm a virgin. I'm 20 and turning 21 in a matter of days
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Articultr
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#33
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#33
turning 21 next month and still a virgin. i don't really care anymore, i want to lose it in a relationship but i don't want a relationship at the moment so will probably be a while till anything happens!
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Anonymous #4
#34
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#34
im 19 ive only had 1 boyfriend done everything but actual intercourse i think no one likes me cos I'm shy. if i ever get another boyfriend he's gonna think I'm a loser and creep and be put off by the fact I'm a virgin isn't he?
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Dafios9128
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#35
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#35
(Original post by Anonymous)
This post made me feel so much better about myself. I'm 20 and a virgin and one of the only ones in my group of friends and it's not for religious reasons, I'm just not the type of girl to throw myself at just any guy who gives me attention and I was always a bit shy. Of course, I got bullied and peer pressured by my friends because of this, but it's not something I can help you know? It just hasn't happened yet and I'm not losing it on a one-night stand.
What kind of friends are they if they bully you for something like this?
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Anonymous #3
#36
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#36
(Original post by Dafios9128)
What kind of friends are they if they bully you for something like this?
Yes everyone tells me that they are *****y friends for doing that but most people in our society at my age will tease me for this. It's just what society has taught them to do.
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Dafios9128
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#37
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#37
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes everyone tells me that they are *****y friends for doing that but most people in our society at my age will tease me for this. It's just what society has taught them to do.
Really? My friends wouldn't tease someone for this. Especially given your young age, it's normal for you to be a virgin.
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Hazzlarr17
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#38
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#38
(Original post by Anonymous)
what do you think about losing it to a one night stand? kind of just want to get it over and done with now...
yeah same, haha, just left school at 18, taking a year and I have only ever kissed one girl, once. Problem with me i reckon is that i don't know where to begin with having sex, or maybe even just losing by virginity!
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Anonymous #5
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#39
Honestly... in my personal opinion i think guys who are virgins out of choice or not i guess are more sexy in a way... i want a guy whos a virgin tbh but im not looking to date anyone right now (im tryna focus on myself and love myself first) until im more older (in my 20's or so) and at that time its gonna be harder to find a good guy whos a virgin but after reading this post im glad there are still some virgins out there lol. (im also a virgin:P)
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Anonymous #7
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#40
I have enjoyed reading this thread - thank you to everyone who has contributed. I didn't lose my virginity until 24, so I can empathise with many of the comments in this thread. I did get picked on by some my "friends" at uni, who guessed that I was a virgin, and it was very hurtful and unsettling for me.

I felt so good after my first time, though the circumstances were far from ideal. I learned that sex is just an action - a bodily function not dissimilar to defecating - when detached from everything else involved in forming a meaningful relationship with a sexual partner.

There was also a minor mental health issue in my case - coping with rejection was very difficult for me and put me off approaching other women.

It was my first fulfilling relationship that helped me recognise this mental health issue and deal with it. When two people become like one in an fully rounded emotional and sexual relationship, it helps you both become better people.

However, you need to learn the rules of establishing social value in groups in order to get to that stage.

My advice to other heterosexual single guys would be to read The Game by Neil Strauss, and study how to attract, arouse and seduce women.

The whole point of The Game is to help guys start seeing chatting up women as fun, like a game, not stressful, like a test.

Guys are warned to avoid getting "one-itis". This basically means: "Don't be creepy." If a woman isn't interested, don't obsess over her, don't spend too much time on her, and don't view rejection as a crushing defeat. Move onto chatting up the next beautiful woman and have more fun.

Don't view it as being all about sex. Women don't like that anyway - you have to start off with just flirting and having fun to build the attraction.

Don't just focus on the end goal. Live in the moment. Just taking a beautiful woman to the zoo is a wonderful, life-enhancing experience. You have to chat to them and get to know them to know that you will be right for each other. But don't forget that you do want to sleep with them too - if the opportunity comes up before you reach that stage, use a condom: You'll enjoy it. I hope that helps. Good luck!
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