Still a Virgin in your Twenties? Some Advice... Watch

RockyDennis
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#61
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#61
My mate had a baby at 24.

Advice on losing virginity: Be hot, drink.

YES.
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Anonymous #12
#62
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#62
I'm 21 also and have not kissed anyone let alone lost my virginity. Seeing people in the comments mention how they are also virgins in there 20's and even 30's has made me feel a little bit better about the situation. The problem is I am such a driven person, very hard working and academic...this is one of the main reasons I have never considered being in a relationship with anyone. It isn't about offers either...I frequently get asked out and people have even told me they straight up want to have sex with me. I just haven't wanted to get myself emotionally tied or felt the attraction to be with them.

I've sort of repressed my feelings for most of my adolescent life - I've never really been like my other friends in school...getting excited to date someone. It hasn't been my ultimate focus like it has there's.

When I eventually turned 21 something sort of clicked in me...whether its the realisation that i'm supposed to be an 'adult' now, i'm not sure?? I've recently started to think about being in a relationship and how much I want to find someone compatible to myself. I want to kiss someone and I feel ready to have sex with the right person.

However I cannot help feeling like i'm totally unexperienced in comparison to my friends. My friends always discuss their relationship status and sex lives. I feel left out and depressed. When I talk to them I play along that i'm not a virgin as I'm too embarrassed to admit it. I can't help feeling like a liar.

My parents are also frequently asking me when I am going to date someone which adds further pressure. They have mentioned that they think I am too fussy and even have alluded to me being single... that they think I might be gay (which i'm not).

I'm not really a social person as I discussed i'm very much studious. I really don't know where I am going to find my partner. I do believe in the whole idea of "you find someone when you least expect it" motto, but it all seems so hard...
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Anonymous #13
#63
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#63
just dropping in to say dont stress.

this was me and I obsessed about it for a while. I'm a girl, 23 now, virgin till 22. went through uni kissing hundreds of guys in clubs and occasionally ending up with them back in my room but being too freaked out by the apparent magnitude of 'losing it' that it never went beyond that.
kind of wish now that I'd just taken the plunge because my first time didn't mean anything in the end anyway, and that's really absolutely fine. met a guy in summer, hit it off, he was very keen, so I slept with him. it wasn't emotional, purely physical, and actually perfect for that exact reason. didn't get attached, just had some fun.

I started dating then because once i'd 'lost it' I felt way more comfortable going on dates without feeling like I had a secret. I met and fell in love with a guy a few months after that and had a wonderful (and way more fulfilling, if you know what I mean ladies) sexual relationship with him. for a while I wished he had been my first. now that we're broken up, I'm glad he wasn't. it would have been so much harder to deal with the break up if he was my *first*, but instead I feel more open to casual dating and sex with new people because I realise sex and love are two different things. And, I would never have even dated him if I was still a virgin!

so yeah, my advice, don't worry about waiting for 'the one', as long as you trust them and they're decent to you. even better in my opinion, I haven't seen him since and I don't have to be reminded of the awkwardness of it. of course it's nice to share the experience with someone you really care about but it's so rare for that to happen I think. and when you ultimately aren't with that person forever, it would be unbearable to move on and imagine sex with anyone else.
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Eccentric Goatie
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#64
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#64
18, freshman year and a virgin. Dont know if this chat applies to me but still
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Jack22031994
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#65
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#65
(Original post by Eccentric Goatie)
18, freshman year and a virgin. Dont know if this chat applies to me but still
Applies to anyone really, I just used twenties as thats when society expects people to no longer be virgins.
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Anonymous #14
#66
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#66
(Original post by Anonymous)
just dropping in to say dont stress.

this was me and I obsessed about it for a while. I'm a girl, 23 now, virgin till 22. went through uni kissing hundreds of guys in clubs and occasionally ending up with them back in my room but being too freaked out by the apparent magnitude of 'losing it' that it never went beyond that.
kind of wish now that I'd just taken the plunge because my first time didn't mean anything in the end anyway, and that's really absolutely fine. met a guy in summer, hit it off, he was very keen, so I slept with him. it wasn't emotional, purely physical, and actually perfect for that exact reason. didn't get attached, just had some fun.

I started dating then because once i'd 'lost it' I felt way more comfortable going on dates without feeling like I had a secret. I met and fell in love with a guy a few months after that and had a wonderful (and way more fulfilling, if you know what I mean ladies) sexual relationship with him. for a while I wished he had been my first. now that we're broken up, I'm glad he wasn't. it would have been so much harder to deal with the break up if he was my *first*, but instead I feel more open to casual dating and sex with new people because I realise sex and love are two different things. And, I would never have even dated him if I was still a virgin!

so yeah, my advice, don't worry about waiting for 'the one', as long as you trust them and they're decent to you. even better in my opinion, I haven't seen him since and I don't have to be reminded of the awkwardness of it. of course it's nice to share the experience with someone you really care about but it's so rare for that to happen I think. and when you ultimately aren't with that person forever, it would be unbearable to move on and imagine sex with anyone else.
I wish this could happen to me tbh I'm 22 female now and still a virgin, I don't seem to hang around any guys so it's also a factor as to why I'm still a virgin. Came close but this guy just wanted to sleep around with everyone that whole week because he got out of a relationship, so I kind of didn't do it with him after that I'd kind of just kiss only a couple of guys from the club, but I've stopped because idk it just isn't the same as kissing someone you really like. I think there's too much stigma on losing it, but I wish I could just lose it without having to feel like I'll get attached or not feeling like my friends will judge me if it's someone I'm not in a relationship with. I think I want to lose it before I finish uni but I don't know how considering I live in a studio alone and I hang out with mostly girls, I get the impression that a lot of boys are not interested in speaking to me.
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Jack22031994
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#67
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#67
(Original post by Anonymous)
I wish this could happen to me tbh I'm 22 female now and still a virgin, I don't seem to hang around any guys so it's also a factor as to why I'm still a virgin. Came close but this guy just wanted to sleep around with everyone that whole week because he got out of a relationship, so I kind of didn't do it with him after that I'd kind of just kiss only a couple of guys from the club, but I've stopped because idk it just isn't the same as kissing someone you really like. I think there's too much stigma on losing it, but I wish I could just lose it without having to feel like I'll get attached or not feeling like my friends will judge me if it's someone I'm not in a relationship with. I think I want to lose it before I finish uni but I don't know how considering I live in a studio alone and I hang out with mostly girls, I get the impression that a lot of boys are not interested in speaking to me.
Awww :hugs: I know it feels. Ive never really had a lot of female friends (saying that, my best friend is female). My ex and I never did have sex (its a long sotry as to why), but I still feel like you really, just the other way around of course!)

Itll happen for us though - we'll get there! Id rather be in my position now than have a accidental child thats for sure (looking at the two extremes I guess)
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hellohellothere
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#68
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thought this was gonna be a post belittling 20+ virgins and telling them to go and get a social life but im impressed! well done!
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Jack22031994
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#69
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#69
(Original post by hellohellothere)
thought this was gonna be a post belittling 20+ virgins and telling them to go and get a social life but im impressed! well done!
Thank You! Oh No, as a CA, I dont think I'd get away with that!
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Anonymous #14
#70
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#70
(Original post by Jack22031994)
Awww :hugs: I know it feels. Ive never really had a lot of female friends (saying that, my best friend is female). My ex and I never did have sex (its a long sotry as to why), but I still feel like you really, just the other way around of course!)

Itll happen for us though - we'll get there! Id rather be in my position now than have a accidental child thats for sure (looking at the two extremes I guess)
Yeah I definitely need the courage and also I wish I knew who was interested in me it'd make it a lot easier haha 6 months left until I finish uni :/
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Jack22031994
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#71
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah I definitely need the courage and also I wish I knew who was interested in me it'd make it a lot easier haha 6 months left until I finish uni :/
Aww - I need more courage tbh too and same!

Im done with uni but dont rush into one just becuase youre worried about uni ending etc
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Anonymous #14
#72
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(Original post by Jack22031994)
Aww - I need more courage tbh too and same!

Im done with uni but dont rush into one just becuase youre worried about uni ending etc
Well I'm not worried about uni ending it's just I hate the stigma of being a virgin, and I shouldn't have to feel bad or feel like I'll be judged by my friends if I want to lose it to someone I'm not in a relationship with. I think girls have been taught from a young age that it's wrong to lose it to someone you don't love where boys aren't and unfortunately that has been drummed in my head for such a long time that I've always felt like I'd be a terrible person if I lost it to someone I don't love, which isn't the case, in only human. I do want a relationship tbh but I'm not so lucky.
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It's****ingWOODY
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#73
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(Original post by stinkbox.)
What about those who are virigns in their 30's? It's****ingWOODY
Not in my 30s, not a virgin (I think that's what you meant by "virigns" anyway). You must have meant to tag someone else, Sh**box?
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Anonymous #14
#74
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(Original post by It's****ingWOODY)
Not in my 30s, not a virgin (I think that's what you meant by "virigns" anyway). You must have meant to tag someone else, Sh**box?
Lol bants
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suejeffries82
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#75
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Cool man! After being ready I took my first step. thanks for sharing.
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Jack22031994
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#76
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#76
(Original post by Anonymous)
Well I'm not worried about uni ending it's just I hate the stigma of being a virgin, and I shouldn't have to feel bad or feel like I'll be judged by my friends if I want to lose it to someone I'm not in a relationship with. I think girls have been taught from a young age that it's wrong to lose it to someone you don't love where boys aren't and unfortunately that has been drummed in my head for such a long time that I've always felt like I'd be a terrible person if I lost it to someone I don't love, which isn't the case, in only human. I do want a relationship tbh but I'm not so lucky.
Yeah Im worried about the stigma to to the point it might be a deal breaker for a girl, but at the same time, if she doesnt want to go out with me on that basis, she probably isnt worth it anyway. As said though, we'll be okay
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Jack22031994
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#77
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(Original post by suejeffries82)
Cool man! After being ready I took my first step. thanks for sharing.
No problem
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Anonymous #14
#78
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#78
(Original post by Jack22031994)
Yeah Im worried about the stigma to to the point it might be a deal breaker for a girl, but at the same time, if she doesnt want to go out with me on that basis, she probably isnt worth it anyway. As said though, we'll be okay
I feel like a lot of virgin guys are worried about that but tbh for me it's a turn on when a guy's a virgin, even though I am lol but it's like I don't care if they're bad because they obviously haven't done it before and I'll feel more comfortable and Idk if this is weird but even if he's like 'geeky' or shy it's a turn on.

I don't think most girls will care, probs be curious why you haven't lost it as in our society, it's a 'norm' for boys to just have sex young and with lots of girls but otherwise I don't care, neither do my friends.
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Anonymous #15
#79
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#79
as a virgin in my 30s this depresses the hell out of me
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Anonymous #14
#80
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#80
(Original post by Anonymous)
as a virgin in my 30s this depresses the hell out of me
Why?
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