Why do people seem to think that boys and girls can't be friends? (Read post first)
Bit of background: year 12 student doing A levels, friend is an external at my school
I am really close friends with this girl but lots of people think that there is something romantic going on between us. Before school ended there were basically people asking me questions about her and stuff to do with dating everyday.
I even had someone from her secondary school claiming that she knows her so well and knows that she likes me even though they were hardly friends at their old school.
I do make physical contact and cuddle but if she did the same thing to a female friend nobody would that she was gay or ask questions. I feel like I can't even mention her around people without people making awkward comments.
My whole form are in on this stuff too and they made her feel really awkward when she tried to ask if we were meant to see a physics teacher right in front of them.
It seriously annoys me that nobody believes me, especially when I believe honesty to be a really important thing so I would probably be honest to most people anyway. Is there a way to fix this and convince people that I'm being honest without changing my relationship.
Also it feels like this happens with most girls that I have become close with and for others I know, some ruining friendships. I've been lucky with this and had them ruined for other reasons but it's still really stupid.
Why can't people accept that boys can be friends with girls it's not that shocking?
Feel free to ask any questions if I haven't made sense btw sorry.
I am really close friends with this girl but lots of people think that there is something romantic going on between us. Before school ended there were basically people asking me questions about her and stuff to do with dating everyday.
I even had someone from her secondary school claiming that she knows her so well and knows that she likes me even though they were hardly friends at their old school.
I do make physical contact and cuddle but if she did the same thing to a female friend nobody would that she was gay or ask questions. I feel like I can't even mention her around people without people making awkward comments.
My whole form are in on this stuff too and they made her feel really awkward when she tried to ask if we were meant to see a physics teacher right in front of them.
It seriously annoys me that nobody believes me, especially when I believe honesty to be a really important thing so I would probably be honest to most people anyway. Is there a way to fix this and convince people that I'm being honest without changing my relationship.
Also it feels like this happens with most girls that I have become close with and for others I know, some ruining friendships. I've been lucky with this and had them ruined for other reasons but it's still really stupid.
Why can't people accept that boys can be friends with girls it's not that shocking?
Feel free to ask any questions if I haven't made sense btw sorry.
It's a product from more outdated, conservative times
Original post by luckystars
It's a product from more outdated, conservative times
So do you think that it'll start to die down in the next few decades? By force or just being ignored?
Original post by AspiringUnderdog
So do you think that it'll start to die down in the next few decades? By force or just being ignored?
I should definitely hope so. Each generation becomes more socially liberal than the previous, so it should slowly die out. I think it's pretty sexist to believe lads and ladies can only interact if the aim is to become intimate. We need focus on personality and character more than letting sex or race define people.
Original post by luckystars
I should definitely hope so. Each generation becomes more socially liberal than the previous, so it should slowly die out. I think it's pretty sexist to believe lads and ladies can only interact if the aim is to become intimate. We need focus on personality and character more than letting sex or race define people.
I don't know though. Maybe feminism could push it to make it seem like the girl is being abused and toyed with in these situations. I haven't heard any feminists comment on this situation though so maybe I'm wrong
I think that depends on an individual level. Sure it's pretty normal to fall for someone over time and it's equally as normal to find close friends where one person has feelings for the other.
I think it's just one of those things where if you've not experienced it (being good friends with the opposite sex without feelings), you'll assume that they can't be friends. It happens a lot to people who complain about the friend zone, that sense that a girl or a guy owes them a relationship from being friends.
I think it's just one of those things where if you've not experienced it (being good friends with the opposite sex without feelings), you'll assume that they can't be friends. It happens a lot to people who complain about the friend zone, that sense that a girl or a guy owes them a relationship from being friends.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by UWS
I think that depends on an individual level. Sure it's pretty normal to fall for someone over time and it's equally as normal to find close friends where one person has feelings for the other.
I think it's just one of those things where if you've not experienced it (being good friends with the opposite sex without feelings), you'll assume that they can't be friends. It happens a lot to people who complain about the friend zone, that sense that a girl or a guy owes them a relationship from being friends.
I think it's just one of those things where if you've not experienced it (being good friends with the opposite sex without feelings), you'll assume that they can't be friends. It happens a lot to people who complain about the friend zone, that sense that a girl or a guy owes them a relationship from being friends.
Now that I think about it you have a fair point. The person saying that she knew my friend well was kind of friendzoned by this guy she wanted.
Ignore the haters. So what if you're friends with a girl? It's none of their business. Make it clear to anyone who asks that you're not interested in her romantically and grow a thicker skin? But are you sure neither of you has feelings for each other? Because often one of you might actually develop feelings for another and it will become really awkward. Maybe avoid being seen with her in front of your form if they're going to be rude about it and only hang out with her with people you like.
Friendship knows no boundaries. However unfortunately for your friends, their intelligence does.
My best friend is a girl, I don't see anything wrong with it. Although my parents always propose the idea of a relationship
Totally typical situation. I agree with above posts how it's harder for people who haven't been in that situation to not see it as it is.
With any close relationship, it is possible for romantic feelings to be introduced. Not saying this is what's happening, or will happen, but it could and this is probably what the people are all focusing on. If you're happy to rule it out forever, you could say that the girl is like a sister to you. It allows people have a better idea of the relationship the two of you have. But that's something you should decide if it fits with how you view your relationship.
You're year 12, you're not that old and nor are your peers. It's embarrassing and awkward, but they probably will never get it. There may only be a couple of other people in your year who may develop similar relationships. Mostly though, the school is seen as a huge dating pool so people are waiting to either be involved in a relationship, or for their peers to be because it's all so new and exciting still. I won't lie, the teasing probably won't stop until after school unless the right people see sense. Good luck with it.
P.s. You should probably brush up on the correct definition of feminism...
With any close relationship, it is possible for romantic feelings to be introduced. Not saying this is what's happening, or will happen, but it could and this is probably what the people are all focusing on. If you're happy to rule it out forever, you could say that the girl is like a sister to you. It allows people have a better idea of the relationship the two of you have. But that's something you should decide if it fits with how you view your relationship.
You're year 12, you're not that old and nor are your peers. It's embarrassing and awkward, but they probably will never get it. There may only be a couple of other people in your year who may develop similar relationships. Mostly though, the school is seen as a huge dating pool so people are waiting to either be involved in a relationship, or for their peers to be because it's all so new and exciting still. I won't lie, the teasing probably won't stop until after school unless the right people see sense. Good luck with it.
P.s. You should probably brush up on the correct definition of feminism...
dude wow
someone else is going through what i went through like 2 months ago, but tbh i gotta tell u that now im dating the guy so maybe u two are also headed towards dating each other??
just a suggestion mate but reevaluate ur feelings for her maybe?
someone else is going through what i went through like 2 months ago, but tbh i gotta tell u that now im dating the guy so maybe u two are also headed towards dating each other??
just a suggestion mate but reevaluate ur feelings for her maybe?
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