Why now?

I have been depressed for around 2-3 years now streaming from abuse from my childhood, being told i was worthless, and a traumatic incident which is just really scary for me. I manged to get through my a level years by doing my studies and getting through it. It was a struggle but i made it, and got into uni. However, now i am at uni i seem to be really really struggling, i have a counsellor however feel no better, but i have missed around a weeks worth of lectures. thankfully they did not focus on anything i know, but i know that does not excuse it. i am on setraline 100mg, and it hasnt been working, nor was the prozac i was taking before hand. i just have no energy or motivation to do anything because i just want to curl up in sleep. but why is it happening now. i dont know whats going wrong, and how i can get through with it all. whats so different about now? i really want to go to lectures but i have no emotional or physical energy :frown:

i cant drop out because if i go home i will be abused again :frown:

and i really want to get through it all. i go to seminars though and i understand and give in the work, so why is it going to lectures are so hard :frown:

any help?

Reply 1

Lizj

What is so different about now is that it is November, and winter depression is setting in on top of your long term background depression.
Also, you will have mid-term blues that are very common at this time, and the stresses of starting university, which have been building up over the past few weeks, will now be making themselves felt.
I think you need to see your GP and have your medication reviewed. But also to realise that this dip is a temporay thing, and things will start to look better sooner or later. And look after yourself! Don't expect too much of yourself. It sounds to me as though you are doing really well given your difficult circumstances.

Reply 2

generalebriety

Because going to lectures is the worst thing in the world. Sitting in a room for three hours and having someone talk at you... just ugh. It doesn't surprise me. Plus, it's stressful moving to university.

It sounds like you're managing to get through the year, and that you're being sensible about seeing a counsellor and stuff... there's not much more I can say. :smile: