My mum says I'm cursed :(

my mum keeps saying... basically I've been cursed by something.

im 21 and she pesters me to go to uni every single day even if I don't want to.

Not gonna say what my background/ culture is because I don't want any preconceived judgement based on that.

so yh, I failed sixth form - took Physics, Maths, ICT and tech, snowball effect of depression (mainly the 2nd year)

took a year in college, good enough points to go to uni, declined offers because I wasn't interested.

Spent the next year doing a failed gap year, whilst retaking exams. But I volunteered because I couldn't get a job. Also, depressed.

Failed exams, but legit true best as I could. But went to uni the yeae later anyway. Dropped out after a week for a range of reasons, but mainly I didn't want to go.

now 21, from my volunteering exp. got a job, err decided to focus on hobbies I didn't do when I was younger, but too afraid..

So, I took a short filmmaking class. Spent ages working on a business because I'm crippled by anxiety and depressive thoughts. But I think I'm ready to launch(ish)

doing a bit of photography, and bit of film making alone.

Learnt basics of screenwriting, wrote a script , wasn't good so I'm rewriting it. learning.

Left my job working in the morning, saved money for the business, hoping I can scrape by. most of it is gone and I haven't launched yet. but optimistic.

Focused on improving my digital art skills to create art/ illustrations.

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But my mum keeps on telling me to go. we have arguments everyday, she brings up how my cousins are achieving. OK cool, but I'm thinking long term as well.

I tell her what I'm doing in parts, coz its unconventional - but I'm a failure in her eyes.

She wants me to go to uni and just to do any course so I have a degree, she also says that I don't need to do that job, just get the piece of paper. I can't...

Am I a failure? should I give in and go to uni?

I've isolated myself from my nuclear family, so I don't go to weddings etc, in part because I feel like I'm a failure but also I don't want to talk small talk and tell ppl what I'm doing - it sounds stupid. Also I feel like its counter productive saying that I've achieved something when I haven't.

Now she says I'm cursed because I'm always depressed, unhappy most of the time because I want to do things different from the norm. Every time this argument happens, it resets my mindset, my psyche and I have to motivate myself to keep going.

I'm going to leave home when I can afford to asap, but...

I just want it to stop, you no? I have no friends, I avoid social interactions because im not settled at all, I'm embarrassed by everything.


Give me your honest feedback, I'm still gonna do what I'm doing regardless.

my mum keeps saying... basically I've been cursed by something.

im 21 and she pesters me to go to uni every single day even if I don't want to.

Not gonna say what my background/ culture is because I don't want any preconceived judgement based on that.

so yh, I failed sixth form - took Physics, Maths, ICT and tech, snowball effect of depression (mainly the 2nd year)

took a year in college, good enough points to go to uni, declined offers because I wasn't interested.

Spent the next year doing a failed gap year, whilst retaking exams. But I volunteered because I couldn't get a job. Also, depressed.

Failed exams, but legit true best as I could. But went to uni the yeae later anyway. Dropped out after a week for a range of reasons, but mainly I didn't want to go.

now 21, from my volunteering exp. got a job, err decided to focus on hobbies I didn't do when I was younger, but too afraid..

So, I took a short filmmaking class. Spent ages working on a business because I'm crippled by anxiety and depressive thoughts. But I think I'm ready to launch(ish)

doing a bit of photography, and bit of film making alone.

Learnt basics of screenwriting, wrote a script , wasn't good so I'm rewriting it. learning.

Left my job working in the morning, saved money for the business, hoping I can scrape by. most of it is gone and I haven't launched yet. but optimistic.

Focused on improving my digital art skills to create art/ illustrations.

.
.
.
But my mum keeps on telling me to go. we have arguments everyday, she brings up how my cousins are achieving. OK cool, but I'm thinking long term as well.

I tell her what I'm doing in parts, coz its unconventional - but I'm a failure in her eyes.

She wants me to go to uni and just to do any course so I have a degree, she also says that I don't need to do that job, just get the piece of paper. I can't...

Am I a failure? should I give in and go to uni?

I've isolated myself from my nuclear family, so I don't go to weddings etc, in part because I feel like I'm a failure but also I don't want to talk small talk and tell ppl what I'm doing - it sounds stupid. Also I feel like its counter productive saying that I've achieved something when I haven't.

Now she says I'm cursed because I'm always depressed, unhappy most of the time because I want to do things different from the norm. Every time this argument happens, it resets my mindset, my psyche and I have to motivate myself to keep going.

I'm going to leave home when I can afford to asap, but...

I just want it to stop, you no? I have no friends, I avoid social interactions because im not settled at all, I'm embarrassed by everything.


Give me your honest feedback, I'm still gonna do what I'm doing regardless.

You are n't a failure and you are definitely not cursed. You just are not ready or willing to go to university.

Look at it from your mums point of view. She does not understand why you don't make the best of what you have - a nice family and the chance to achieve.

However, you are clearly depressed, so I would suggest you visit GP; get help; leave home. Get a job and carry on doing what you - YOU - want to do. You can go to university at any age if that is what you want. Give yourself a couple of years to find your feet and if that does not happen then maybe consider going back to uni.

( Guessing you are Asian or Jewish - probably former....)

Ok, first of all you can tell you're either Pakistani or Indian. Ignore your mum people can be very successful without a degree in their hand. Focus on what is important to you. You are not a failure stop telling yourself that. Sit down and talk to your mum tell her for once and for all that you are never going to get a degree (if that's what you want) tell her to stop pestering you about it and tell her how it makes you feel depressed.

What business have you been working on? and i want to read your script you wrote i'm curious

Yh I need to get help, I say that but I've never taken action, wish me luck though.

Yh I haven't applied for jobs yet, but juiced up my cv. However I got an interview for a paid internship on Wednesday, which is...creative.

The reason I don't want to go to uni or art school is that I don't want to specialise in anything. I like being experimental, having a different outlook, trying stuff out and I'm not an artist.

Plus I kinda feel like its a waste of money for me when I can go on an alternative route.

Thx

ean
All I will say at this point is that you need to have means of supporting yourself. Being experimental is all well and good but when you are staring at the bottom of an empty baked bean can, it can be a bit demoralising ( I have been there!) Sometimes ( and I am beginning to sound like your mum here) it is best to get a steady job and be a bit alternative on your days off until it all takes off. Good luck though - depression sucks

All I will say at this point is that you need to have means of supporting yourself. Being experimental is all well and good but when you are staring at the bottom of an empty baked bean can, it can be a bit demoralising ( I have been there!) Sometimes ( and I am beginning to sound like your mum here) it is best to get a steady job and be a bit alternative on your days off until it all takes off. Good luck though - depression sucks

All I'll say is that heaps of folk waste valuable time obtaining a degree that does nothing for them in the long run. Do what you want to do. You only live once so don't live your parents life.

Yh, and don't get me wrong, I wanna make my family proud, give em money etc... But the other way never worked so I'm doing it differently. It ain't perfect, I need money to survive, but I feel good