Being Catholic

My religion dictates..no sex before marriage.

I have not adhered to that rule.

My present gf is not Catholic and is the love of my life. She was a virgin before and isn't now :s-smilie:

I feel guilty that I have taken her virginity, she doesn't care that we may not end up together. I would love to be with her forever, burdened with guilt that I have probably seduced a girl who is 4years younger than me, she wanted to loose it, I couldn't say no she is so beautiful and I love her very much, is it that important to be a virgin on a girl's Wedding night?

I have had sex with previous gfs, with one of them also Catholic we did every thing except full sex. She wanted to be a virgin on her Wedding night, struck me as hypocrisy as she was well into non-penetrative sex.

I''m patient and don't expect a girl to sleep with me early on in a relationship.

I'm trying to take the attitude that my religious beliefs should not impinge on my life, sadly they are at the moment.

Hmm not easy being a young practicing Catholic, can't bring myself to talk to friends or a Priest.

Reply 1

qubog

12

Ahhh the hallmark of Catholicism - guilt. Maybe you should let this out in the confessional? That would be more beneficial to you than posting on here, I think and the priest might be able to give you some constructive advice

Reply 2

ßlαcksωαn

17

What would you like us to say??

Reply 3

batty_hatty

7

I cannot believe that you find it hypocritical about a catholic female but you yourself have done worse than waht she has done (in the ideals of your faith) yet you don't mention being guilty about it yourself!

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

blackswan

What would you like us to say??

Don't listen to my guilty conscience :smile:

Reply 5

ßlαcksωαn

17

Anonymous

Don't listen to my guilty conscience :smile:

I'm sure it's the truth.
You say "I couldn't say no she is so beautiful "
well actually you could have said no.
Are you claiming to be a full blown Catholic now?

Reply 6

Chumbaniya

17

Religion really does cause far too much trouble for people. If your religion is making you feel guilty for having sex with someone you love, and who loves you, it's obviously pretty warped.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

batty_hatty

I cannot believe that you find it hypocritical about a catholic female but you yourself have done worse than waht she has done (in the ideals of your faith) yet you don't mention being guilty about it yourself!

I'm not feeling guilty with regard to the Catholic girl, she set the ground rules on day1 and was a seriously raunchy chick, and had been out with loads of guys and had a :eek:

reputation, and was a filth bag.

I feel guilty that I may have taken advantage of a girl who has had very little experience.

I'm not that Catholic that I don't like sex :rolleyes:

Reply 8

cpj1987

15

Anonymous

I'm not feeling guilty with regard to the Catholic girl, she set the ground rules on day1 and was a seriously raunchy chick, and had been out with loads of guys and had a :eek:

reputation, and was a filth bag.

I feel guilty that I may have taken advantage of a girl who has had very little experience.

I'm not that Catholic that I don't like sex :rolleyes:

Well, it's your religion. I don't think anyone here is going to tell you not to feel guilty, because by being religious, you're supposed to accept the rules/beliefs of that religion.
You should have willpower, if you claim that you're truly Catholic - otherwise, why be religious? :s-smilie:

If your only guilt is from taking advantage of a girl with little experience, then why does religion come into this at all?
For that matter, why do you feel guilty of taking advantage, if she chose to have sex? Virginity at marriage clearly isn't important to her anyway, especially since she's not religious herself.

Reply 9

Brown Eyed Girl

Seeing as your not a virgin either and have allready had pre-marital Sex...

As long as your not being dumb and getting STI's I'm sure you can just carry on having normal relationships, then get married.

You obviously have doubts about the rules of your religion or you wouldn't of broken one that is near impossible to take but... unless catholic preists can "Re-Virginise" you or something... O.o

Reply 10

blondevalkyrie

15

if shes a filth bag what does that make you then?

Reply 11

ßlαcksωαn

17

blondevalkyrie

if shes a filth bag what does that make you then?

good call

Reply 12

ßlαcksωαn

17

SHAC attack!

That is true. I don't regret loosing my virginity at all, and think that the whole issue of pure before Marriage is untenable given that you could end up with a wife/husband that you don't get on with physically, that would be awful :frown:

I was really looking for some input from a girl's point of view, re the virgin on Wedding night thing.

Oh ****! There goes anon!

it varies between girls...

Reply 13

Helenia

20

SHAC attack!

That is true. I don't regret loosing my virginity at all, and think that the whole issue of pure before Marriage is untenable given that you could end up with a wife/husband that you don't get on with physically, that would be awful :frown:

I was really looking for some input from a girl's point of view, re the virgin on Wedding night thing.

Oh ****! There goes anon!

The vast majority of girls (and guys) are not virgins on their wedding night, and most don't especially wish to be.

Look, she wanted to sleep with you, assuming she's of legal age and you weren't misleading her (which I doubt, given you claim to love her), then you shouldn't feel guilty. Given you've already trampled all over Catholic doctrine by having sex with other people, having sex with one more person who you love and who wants to have sex with you shouldn't give you much extra cause for concern.

Reply 14

Brown Eyed Girl

Most girls I've spoken to now are going with the whole, dont want to find out on the wedding night that for the rest of my life I'm with some one I am not sexualy compatable with...

Reply 15

logiclane

Thud

You could try whipping yourself with a cilice or something for a while? Catholics seem to like that.

You can`t whip yourself with a cilice (well, strictly speaking I suppose one can, but it's not what it's designed for) ; a cilice is a studded chain wound over the thigh - it's uncomfortable but that's what it's a penance for.
For whipping one would use 'a discipline' , a completely different gadget.
Both practices are exceedingly rare and would not be undertaken without the full consent of a spiritual advisor.

With regards to the 'problem' at hand ; I`m not sure what it is you're asking exactly. Many catholics are not -strictly speaking- practising and quite a few might have no more than a nodding acquaintance with the principles of RC faith and morals. If you're a catholic and you feel guilty for your actions ; I suggest you go to Confession ; that's what it's for.

Reply 16

StandingOnAir

Anonymous

I'm trying to take the attitude that my religious beliefs should not impinge on my life, sadly they are at the moment.

I find that a bit weird. If your religion is having such a negative impact on your life, what's the point in being a part of it? Religious beliefs should "impinge on your life" in that they improve it.

Everyone has different values and ideals, so it completely depends on the way this girl feels. If she is fine with sex before marriage, then she'll be as okay as anyone else is.

It's your beliefs that are causing you to worry about her, but then your beliefs presumably ought to have stopped you from sleeping with her in the first place. While you stay stuck in the middle like this, it's no wonder you're feeling guilty. You ought to make your mind up.

Reply 17

username131927

Anonymous

My religion dictates..no sex before marriage.

And what do you think?

thats what's wrong with the world, everyone just expects someone else to tell them what to believe.

Im sorry if that seems arrogant. But my point is, that you know what's right and wrong regardless of whether or not you chose to do the right or wrong thing all the time.

Sexual urges are normal for everyone. Dont let some out-of-touch middle aged priest tell you that you're a bad person or a sinner.

Reply 18

YAP

It sounds like you are playing pick-and-choose with the tenets of your religion. As for whether this is a problem is something only you can decide, it depends how you view your faith: as a a useful starting point for deciding how to live your life; or as doctrine, to which you must strictly adhere. Essentially, do you think you're going to hell over this?

Reply 19

logiclane

And what do you think?

thats what's wrong with the world, everyone just expects someone else to tell them what to believe.

Im sorry if that seems arrogant. But my point is, that you know what's right and wrong regardless of whether or not you chose to do the right or wrong thing all the time.

Sexual urges are normal for everyone. Dont let some out-of-touch middle aged priest tell you that you're a bad person or a sinner.

Having sex beyond the bounds of matrimony is objectively an offence against the catholic understanding of sexual morality; that being said most catholics aren`t exactly bothered by that. So the very fact that the OP is bothered - at some level - is interesting. I agree with a poster above saying that he found it odd that the OP didn`t want to let one's religious identity impinge on one's daily life; I agree with the commenter that that is exactly what faith ought to do - and perhaps is doing now.
OP, if you're shy about talking to a priest about this ; find a confessional with a grille (they've gone out of fashion, for no good reason) ; no one needs to know who you are when you confess whatever it is you want to confess. In my experience ; I always do feel some relief at having gone to confession (and I certainly don`t go every week ; once every months more like) ; and I always go to a church in at some travelling distance where I don`t know anyone and - more importantly no one knows me - and where there's a confessional with grille.

Being Catholic

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