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    i h8 doin personal statements, im thinkin of writin that on it, that im only doin it 4 the sake of it. but since it wud b stupid, had 2 write 1. wud appreciate ne comments (even tho itl jus b 'bog-standard'!)
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    I want to study Law. The unique quality of this discipline is that it influences all aspects of life. Many people underestimate their involvement with the law. But this is fallacious. It affects society in more ways than one can imagine and it tries to remain a true reflection of our society. I want to study this concept. I initially became interested in the subject simply by talking to people who had or were studying Law. Since then, I became fascinated when reading newspaper articles and specifically the London Review of Books on the subject of Law. This kept me up to date with current affairs but also it enhanced the attraction of studying legal issues. I have read works such as ‘An Invitation to Law’ by A.W. Simpson solely to prove whether I would find studying this demanding subject interesting and enjoyable. And, I believe I would. I found myself thinking about issues long after I had read about them from relatively minor tort issues to high-profile criminal cases. Reading Law requires analytical and sustained thought. Not only am I competent in doing this, but I enjoy it.
    But why do I believe that you should accept me to read Law? Aside from my belief that I am passionate about studying Law, throughout my academic life I have remained self-motivated and determined – two traits I believe to be vital when approaching a course such as Law. My achievement of academic prizes for seven years and consistently high grades and scores in all public exams is evidence that I would be dedicated, conscientious and successful. My AS subjects of History and English Language have required logical reasoning amongst other things. I have developed such qualities to the extent that I will feel confident about applying them in other situations, for example, in studying case documents. I have studied Economics which has given me greater knowledge as to how society works. I was particularly interested in studying the notion of equity, of which I think is hugely important in achieving justice. I attained an A Grade in Critical Thinking, evidence that I can think logically and efficiently and I believe this to be beneficial when studying Law. I can read, write and speak Gujurati which has helped me to grasp French and German which indicates that I have a lot to offer.
    My roles as Managing Director in two young enterprise companies and of Prefect and Lower School Form Tutor have given me confidence in my communication skills in addition to my various debating triumphs which will aid me in a heavily public-related domain. Having been Secretary and Chairman of a charitable organisation, The Hindu Society, I have developed my leadership skills. My sporting achievements range from playing hockey and cricket for the school to reaching a county level in table tennis. I have also reached Grade 6 on the clarinet. I feel that these activities have helped to make me a committed and well-rounded individual who has a lot to offer to your institution.
    Along with my academic, musical and sporting successes, I have been working part-time since the age of fifteen. This has greatly improved my time management skills and my organisation, both of which I acknowledge will help me in tackling a demanding course.
    I have acquired practical experience in many types of law at firms such as Walker, Charlesworth & Foster and the Royal College of Nursing learning about probate, contract and property law, tort and criminal law. These experiences have deepened my desire to pursue a law degree.
    At university I envisage that I will have the chance to contribute to life in a number of ways, legal and otherwise and overall I promise that I will give my best in studying law.

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    Its quite impressive, but i think you may be a few words over the limit.
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    (Original post by pleaseletmein)
    i h8 doin personal statements, im thinkin of writin that on it, that im only doin it 4 the sake of it. but since it wud b stupid, had 2 write 1. wud appreciate ne comments (even tho itl jus b 'bog-standard'!)
    ::


    I want to study Law. The unique quality of this discipline is that it influences all aspects of life. Many people underestimate their involvement with the law. But this is fallacious. It affects society in more ways than one can imagine and it tries to remain a true reflection of our society. I want to study this concept. I initially became interested in the subject simply by talking to people who had or were studying Law. Since then, I became fascinated when reading newspaper articles and specifically the London Review of Books on the subject of Law. This kept me up to date with current affairs but also it enhanced the attraction of studying legal issues. I have read works such as ‘An Invitation to Law’ by A.W. Simpson solely to prove whether I would find studying this demanding subject interesting and enjoyable. And, I believe I would. I found myself thinking about issues long after I had read about them from relatively minor tort issues to high-profile criminal cases. Reading Law requires analytical and sustained thought. Not only am I competent in doing this, but I enjoy it.
    But why do I believe that you should accept me to read Law? Aside from my belief that I am passionate about studying Law, throughout my academic life I have remained self-motivated and determined – two traits I believe to be vital when approaching a course such as Law. My achievement of academic prizes for seven years and consistently high grades and scores in all public exams is evidence that I would be dedicated, conscientious and successful. My AS subjects of History and English Language have required logical reasoning amongst other things. I have developed such qualities to the extent that I will feel confident about applying them in other situations, for example, in studying case documents. I have studied Economics which has given me greater knowledge as to how society works. I was particularly interested in studying the notion of equity, of which I think is hugely important in achieving justice. I attained an A Grade in Critical Thinking, evidence that I can think logically and efficiently and I believe this to be beneficial when studying Law. I can read, write and speak Gujurati which has helped me to grasp French and German which indicates that I have a lot to offer.
    My roles as Managing Director in two young enterprise companies and of Prefect and Lower School Form Tutor have given me confidence in my communication skills in addition to my various debating triumphs which will aid me in a heavily public-related domain. Having been Secretary and Chairman of a charitable organisation, The Hindu Society, I have developed my leadership skills. My sporting achievements range from playing hockey and cricket for the school to reaching a county level in table tennis. I have also reached Grade 6 on the clarinet. I feel that these activities have helped to make me a committed and well-rounded individual who has a lot to offer to your institution.
    Along with my academic, musical and sporting successes, I have been working part-time since the age of fifteen. This has greatly improved my time management skills and my organisation, both of which I acknowledge will help me in tackling a demanding course.
    I have acquired practical experience in many types of law at firms such as Walker, Charlesworth & Foster and the Royal College of Nursing learning about probate, contract and property law, tort and criminal law. These experiences have deepened my desire to pursue a law degree.
    At university I envisage that I will have the chance to contribute to life in a number of ways, legal and otherwise and overall I promise that I will give my best in studying law.

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    Good.
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    Take out the first sentence.
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    take out the first sentence, why? i thot that a short, snappy and original beginning wud do me favours n make it slightly diff from the rest?
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    Hi,

    Overall I think your statement is very good as you have the right balance of academic and extra-curricular. I think you could put in somewhere at the end what your career plans are. Here are some minor points that I would consider thinking about/amending:


    I want to study Law.
    This doesn't need to be here.
    But this is fallacious.
    What is fallacious? You are being unclear, or maybe you are using the word in the wrong sense. Fallacious comes from fallacy meaning falsehood.
    It affects society in more ways than one can imagine and it tries to remain a true reflection of our society.
    Tries to remain? Unclear.
    I want to study this concept.
    Which concept sorry?
    I initially became interested in the subject
    "I initially became interested in Law" is better.
    simply
    No take this word out.
    solely to prove
    You mean find out?
    Not only am I competent in doing this, but I enjoy it.
    A tad too arrogant - say you think you are, not that you just are.

    My achievement of academic prizes for seven years and consistently high grades and scores in all public exams is evidence that I would be dedicated, conscientious and successful.
    This is something that would go in your reference,not your statement.
    amongst other things
    Don't say this if you don't have examples.
    I attained an A Grade in Critical Thinking, evidence that I can think logically and efficiently and I believe this to be beneficial when studying Law.
    Again, grades etc. go in reference, not personal statement.
    I can read, write and speak Gujurati which has helped me to grasp French and German which indicates that I have a lot to offer.
    Grammar: Too many "which"s.
    I have been working part-time
    Where?

    Good luck.
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    (Original post by pleaseletmein)
    take out the first sentence, why? i thot that a short, snappy and original beginning wud do me favours n make it slightly diff from the rest?
    They already know you are applying for Law. The first sentence should stand out but you are just stating the obvious.
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    cheers m8, helped quite a bit, ill sort out sum of the points u mentioned. trusay bwt the first sentence now i think bwt it! can u suggest anotha gud openin line, that is both original and snappy?
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    I think that starting with a quotation captures the attention of the admissions tutors. So many people begin with something dull and unoriginal such as 'I'm intersted in...' '....has always interested me.' It may be true, but this stock line doesn't really convey a lot of enthusiasm for the subject.
    If you find a quote that sums up why you want to study law or is of particular interest to you, then I would suggest that you use that as your first line. Plus, for subjects such as law that mostly require interview it provides an interesting starting point that you will be comfortable and familiar with.
    Below are a few suggestions... (though I am sure you have your own ideas)

    'In civilised life, law floats in a sea of ethics.' - Earl Warren
    'The law is reason free from passion.' - Aristotle.
    'Moral principle is the foundation of law.' - Ronald D. Dworkin

    Btw, your personal statement is very impressive. Good luck with your application.

    Hope this helps. Ana xxx
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    I 100% agree with Adhsur. Those sentences what he highlighted need to be deleted of changed. The words limit is ok. Take the sticker of the UCAS personal statement at school... measure it and then print it. I think it'd be ok. At least it was on mine and it was a bit larger i think. Remember that the minimum size of font is 12
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    OK, hope u don't mind, I changed some of it just as a suggestion as to how I would do it:

    "The unique aspect of Law is that it influences all aspects of life. It affects society in more ways than many imagine and constantly changes in order to remain a true reflection of society. It is this concept that fascinates me. My interest in Law developed through gaining a greater understanding of the subject through those involved in it. I developed a keen interest in reading newspaper articles and specifically the London Review of Books on Law. This kept me up to date with current affairs but also nurtured my fascination with legal issues. I have read works such as ‘An Invitation to Law’ by A.W. Simpson, which solidified my conviction that I will find this demanding subject interesting and enjoyable. Reading Law requires analytical and sustained thought. Not only am I competent in this, but I find it thoroughly rewarding. (give an example)

    I have acquired practical experience in many types of law at firms such as Walker, Charlesworth & Foster and the Royal College of Nursing learning about probate, contract and property law, tort and criminal law. These experiences have deepened my desire to pursue a law degree.

    I am both self-motivated and determined – two traits I believe to be vital when approaching a course such as Law. Having gained numerous academic prizes and consistently high grades in all public exams, I would be dedicated, conscientious and successful in my approach to a Law degree. My AS subjects of History and English Language have required logical reasoning. I attained an A Grade in Critical Thinking, evidence that I can think logically and efficiently and I believe this to be beneficial when studying Law. I have developed such qualities to the extent that I will feel confident about applying them in other situations, for example, in studying case documents. I have studied Economics, which has given me greater insight into the workings of society. I am particularly interested in studying the notion of equity, of which I think is hugely important in achieving justice. I can read, write and speak Gujurati which has helped me to grasp French and German. I hope to employ these talents in a career in Law.

    My roles as Managing Director in two young enterprise companies and of Prefect and Lower School Form Tutor have given me confidence in my communication skills in addition to my various debating triumphs which will aid me in a heavily public-related domain. Having been Secretary and Chairman of a charitable organisation, The Hindu Society, I have developed my leadership skills. My sporting achievements range from playing hockey and cricket for the school to reaching a county level in table tennis. I have also reached Grade 6 on the clarinet. I feel that these activities have helped to make me a committed and well-rounded individual who has a lot to offer to your institution.

    Along with my academic, musical and sporting successes, I have been working part-time since the age of fifteen. This has greatly improved my time management skills and my organisation, both of which I acknowledge will help me in tackling a demanding course.

    At university I envisage that I will have the chance to contribute to life in a number of ways, legal and otherwise and I strive to give of my best throughout my undergraduate career."
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    thanx 4 takin the time 2 change it! will defos print that out n consider it! cheers 4 all the help (from every1!)
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    I would say that in general, try to make your sentences slightly more extensive, rather than abrupt full stops at the end; it would help if you allowed it to flow, reason after reason. Basically, use more commas and semi-colons because then it reads naturally.

    Apart from that and all the other suggestions, I have nothing more to say except good luck with your application!
 
 
 
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