19, pregnant, starting uni in september

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secureinsecure
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thanks for reading my post.....

im in a predicament, im due to start uni in september however I just found out im pregnant, I am 19 however will be 20 when I give birth.

my family wont have money to support me, and ill be scrounging off of student loan? Is this plausible or am I kidding myself?

I am mature and have always wanted children. I lost a baby once I dont want to lose it again,

thanks in advance
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whoisme
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(Original post by secureinsecure)
thanks for reading my post.....

im in a predicament, im due to start uni in september however I just found out im pregnant, I am 19 however will be 20 when I give birth.

my family wont have money to support me, and ill be scrounging off of student loan? Is this plausible or am I kidding myself?

I am mature and have always wanted children. I lost a baby once I dont want to lose it again,

thanks in advance
At the end of the day it's your choice.
Know that there's nothing wrong with it if you're early on in the pregnancy and want an abortion.
Think about whether it's the right time for you to have a child and whether you can ensure the child will have a good life.
Nothing's impossible, and with a bit of hard work I'm sure you could do it, but raising a baby is hard work. Are you doing it on your own?
You could delay uni until the baby is older?!
Whatever you choose to do, I wish you the best of luck!
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Wanderlust96
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The issue is that a student loan will not be enough to support you and your child. You will also need to look into alternative accommodation...you can't exactly have a baby with you in halls (unless you're living at home?) If you're not staying at your parents house though, you have to consider who will care for the child when you're in classes. Socialising is pretty much a no-go. I get wanting to keep your child, but realistically you might want to hold off on Uni until they're older and you have more money. Then try to find out if you can do your chosen degree on a part time basis.
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lavender_rose
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es a
(Original post by secureinsecure)
thanks for reading my post.....

im in a predicament, im due to start uni in september however I just found out im pregnant, I am 19 however will be 20 when I give birth.

my family wont have money to support me, and ill be scrounging off of student loan? Is this plausible or am I kidding myself?

I am mature and have always wanted children. I lost a baby once I dont want to lose it again,

thanks in advance
Although I am not in a similar situation I just thought it could be helpful to mention approaching the following people/organisations -
Student finance
your university student union
National Union of Students

Good luck with your studies and congratulations on your pregnancy.
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Zarek
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Go and get some advice and support in the first instance. You can probably defer starting.
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Bernadette04
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(Original post by secureinsecure)
thanks for reading my post.....

im in a predicament, im due to start uni in september however I just found out im pregnant, I am 19 however will be 20 when I give birth.

my family wont have money to support me, and ill be scrounging off of student loan? Is this plausible or am I kidding myself?

I am mature and have always wanted children. I lost a baby once I dont want to lose it again,

thanks in advance

Lots of questions arise that only you have answers for:

Will the baby's father support you and stick around?

How will you manage doing a university course plus look after a baby? Are there crèche facilities at Uni..easily accessible?

Could you ask the Uni to defer your start year until you are more settled?

Can you access a benefits rights advisor who can see what you are entitled to?

Can you talk this over with a Uni advisor this month so you know what your options are?

It will be tough..tougher if you are on your own with no support, but it can be done, You just need expert advice and expert support from the Uni, your maternity support advisors and a benefits advisor.

Make those phone calls tomorrow if you are determined to see everything through.

I wish you all the best.
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username2981082
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(Original post by secureinsecure)
thanks for reading my post.....

im in a predicament, im due to start uni in september however I just found out im pregnant, I am 19 however will be 20 when I give birth.

my family wont have money to support me, and ill be scrounging off of student loan? Is this plausible or am I kidding myself?

I am mature and have always wanted children. I lost a baby once I dont want to lose it again,

thanks in advance
As everyone else has said, there are a lot of practicalities to consider that will make it difficult to have a child and go to university at the same time. Accomodation is a big consideration and it is extremely unlikely that you will be able to keep a baby in a university hall. Halls are also not very child-friendly, considering that students like to get drunk and engagen in loud sex.

Another thing to consider is whether you can handle the workload. Going to university and raising a child are both really big commitments. You will have to complete assignments and cook and provide for your baby at the same time.

Student finance is not enough money to raise a baby. You aren't just incurring costs for one person. It is for two people now.

Do you have support from the father? You will face more hardships as a single mother because you will be on your own.

I think the only way this could work is if you do a long-distance course, you delay going to university and wait until you are in a more stable position, or you don't keep the baby.
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secureinsecure
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(Original post by constantine2016)
As everyone else has said, there are a lot of practicalities to consider that will make it difficult to have a child and go to university at the same time. Accomodation is a big consideration and it is extremely unlikely that you will be able to keep a baby in a university hall. Halls are also not very child-friendly, considering that students like to get drunk and engagen in loud sex.

Another thing to consider is whether you can handle the workload. Going to university and raising a child are both really big commitments. You will have to complete assignments and cook and provide for your baby at the same time.

Student finance is not enough money to raise a baby. You aren't just incurring costs for one person. It is for two people now.

Do you have support from the father? You will face more hardships as a single mother because you will be on your own.

I think the only way this could work is if you do a long-distance course, you delay going to university and wait until you are in a more stable position, or you don't keep the baby.
thank you so much to everyone for replying. I just want to clarify he father is very supportive bout things, and I considered deferring uni but I feel like I'll never get it done if I do that? Is 20 too young to have a baby?
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secureinsecure
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(Original post by lavender_rose)
es a

Although I am not in a similar situation I just thought it could be helpful to mention approaching the following people/organisations -
Student finance
your university student union
National Union of Students

Good luck with your studies and congratulations on your pregnancy.
thank you so much, I will try that as soon as I can
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shawn_o1
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If you're not expecting an offer from an "outstanding" uni, you could easily switch to a distance learning course that you can study at home while you look after your baby.
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secureinsecure
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(Original post by shawn_o1)
If you're not expecting an offer from an "outstanding" uni, you could easily switch to a distance learning course that you can study at home while you look after your baby.
I really wanted to experience university though and I feel if I do that employers may not take me as seriously? I considered taking a part time course instead but I dont know if student finance will fund part time courses and give maintenance loan with it will they?
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shawn_o1
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(Original post by secureinsecure)
I really wanted to experience university though and I feel if I do that employers may not take me as seriously? I considered taking a part time course instead but I dont know if student finance will fund part time courses and give maintenance loan with it will they?
The "university experience" is overhyped, even getting a first at a STEM subject is no guarantee to good future career prospects.
Employers like seeing how people describe how they apply their skills, being a good parent in your early 20's can impress employers too what career are you aiming for?
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secureinsecure
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(Original post by shawn_o1)
The "university experience" is overhyped, even getting a first at a STEM subject is no guarantee to good future career prospects.
Employers like seeing how people describe how they apply their skills, being a good parent in your early 20's can impress employers too what career are you aiming for?
you think so? To be honest ive always been indecisive about careers, I dont really mind what I do because I just want a family if that makes sense, I just feel as though its come so soon
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shawn_o1
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(Original post by secureinsecure)
you think so? To be honest ive always been indecisive about careers, I dont really mind what I do because I just want a family if that makes sense, I just feel as though its come so soon
You could go for a job that involves children considering you've got one on the way.
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username3105252
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I am sure there are success stories and I hope you'll be one of them.
I'm 33 and starting uni in sept. My kids are 6 and 4. Only now am I starting to feel like a person again after having the girls.
For me, there is no way I could have performed academically during the early months of having a baby.
I am so tired. My kids slept reasonably well but a newborn will be awake at least every 4 hours for a good while.
The night feeding etc is brutal (but adorable, I breastfed and played candy crush a lot) and if you've got uni too there is no way you can enjoy the good parts of that early parenting.
The father may be supportive, that's great. However. If it's his turn to night feed, you'll still be awake wishing it was your turn.
When I became a parent I entered the cycle of parental guilt and overwhelming love and motivation to want to throw everything about myself into the tiny humans.
If you want to get your money's worth from uni, wait.
If all you've ever wanted is a family, then that's what you need to do.
Heed my warning though. I was like you.
Now I am cranky and resentful that these two pains in the backside have sucked the life out of me and made me lose sight of me... I'm clawing my way back but it is exhausting and I wish I had educated myself before I had a family.
No one can advise you. You need to do what's best.
Money, there is never enough of it with a baby.
Also. You can get approximately 1572 items of baby clothing in one wash load. So happy folding!
Good luck with whatever you decide!
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DrSocSciences
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Hi hun

That's a difficult one. Is 20 too young to have a baby? Idk, I was 30 when I had my first one, and that felt too young, as it's an unbelievably overwhelming experience, physically, emotionally, psychologically, and that was even when I was married, and in my own home and with a career in place. But as you've already sadly lost one baby, I can understand where you're coming from.

If you're really determined to get to uni, with a baby, you'll get there. It just may not happen so quickly. I reckon you have a couple of options:

1. Do your first year, build a friendship group, see whether studying at undergrad level suits you. And negotiate with uni re the timing of yr first year exams (I sat my Masters exams when heavily pregnant, it can be done). Then apply for an 'interruption of studies' for 12 months.

2. Or push uni back by 2 years, and become a student when your baby is nearly 18 months old.

Discuss both scenarios with uni, and funders, your family and your partner, and you'll find what works best for you. Good luck.
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Azman Rahman
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(Original post by secureinsecure)
thanks for reading my post.....

im in a predicament, im due to start uni in september however I just found out im pregnant, I am 19 however will be 20 when I give birth.

my family wont have money to support me, and ill be scrounging off of student loan? Is this plausible or am I kidding myself?

I am mature and have always wanted children. I lost a baby once I dont want to lose it again,

thanks in advance
If I were in your shoes (I'm a guy so I can't truly relate) I would get the abortion. I am vehementally against abortion in general but I believe there are a number of situations when it's justified. One of which is if the person doesn't have the financial capacity to support it; and frankly you don't.

That being said, I recommend you to take your life seriously from now on. It should not be the case where a twenty year old loses two babies with birth control as readily available as it. Be ****ing careful next time. God speed
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Moonstruck16
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Just look up stories of students who were close to your age and had young babies whilst at university and did fine. You have the father's support which is already a massive bonus plus I think you'll be able to get grants for being a young mother. It'll be hard and essentially you should probably not expect to have the 'uni experience' (which is overrated) but it is possible. Though my suggestion is taking a year out and starting when your baby has actually been born. Spend the rest of your time for now working and saving up because you're going to need all the extra cash you can get.
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DrSocSciences
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(Original post by Moonstruck16)
Though my suggestion is taking a year out and starting when your baby has actually been born.
Starting in Sept/Oct 2018, to me, is the no go option. Sleeplessness will mean you can't even remember your own name.
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cherryred90s
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I swear people make these threads like once a fortnight now. OP, did you look at the previous threads before making your own?
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