19, pregnant, starting uni in september

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Starting in Sept/Oct 2018, to me, is the no go option. Sleeplessness will mean you can't even remember your own name.

Two years is probably the best option then. Considering how much of a shock freshers tends to be for most students, I don't think being pregnant and having a baby in first year is a good idea

Reply 21

♥Samantha♥

Original post by secureinsecure

thanks for reading my post.....

im in a predicament, im due to start uni in september however I just found out im pregnant, I am 19 however will be 20 when I give birth.

my family wont have money to support me, and ill be scrounging off of student loan? Is this plausible or am I kidding myself?

I am mature and have always wanted children. I lost a baby once I dont want to lose it again,

thanks in advance

You are likely (or at least will be when the child is born) eligible for extra student finance, see here: https://www.gov.uk/student-finance/extra-help

Reply 22

ucasucas

You'll be classed as an independent student for student finance once baby is born. Therefore, you'll get full student loans and extra support - for this reason alone, I'd defer until next year or even wait until the year after.
You don't know how you're going to feel once the baby is here. PND, general tiredness, etc. I think you should relax and enjoy your pregnancy and enjoy the newborn experience. You can still go to university and be a mother, it just doesn't have to start at the same time.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and I'm very sorry about your previous loss! Also, 20 is not too young to become a mother.

Reply 23

Schadenfreude65

You don't say when your baby is due, but I'm guessing it's likely to arrive round about the Easter holidays, just in time for exam season. You really don't want to be doing exams with a newborn. You'll be exhausted, and probably emotionally fragile. I think it would be a good idea to defer for a year, and see how you feel about it next summer.

Reply 24

loooopppyyy

You might struggle, if you just found out you're pregnant then I'm guessing you will be roughly 1 month through?

This means you will be giving birth later march to early may depending on it being early or late, most end of year assignments are due during this period. ^_^

I'd contact the University and speak to them about it, they might be happy to provide mitigating circumstances, however you would most likely have to take some time off after the first year, raising a baby to school age is the most difficult thing I've done in my life.

Reply 25

Oblige

Abortion.

My girlfriend just done it as we thought it wasn't the right time and it would require a lot from us.

Otherwise be logical as you just mentioned you don't have enough income to support the kid, have some compassion and think about the kid not being able to have what they deserve.

Easy choice you have there.

By the way, don't waste time or let it be more than 13 weeks as it might get complicated. It's a very easy and simple treatment before the 13 weeks of pregnancy.

Wish you the best.

Have a nice day!

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 26

DrSocSciences

Original post by Oblige

Abortion.

My girlfriend just done it as we thought it wasn't the right time and it would require a lot from us.

If you're selfish and coward and will let your emotions decide for you, then keep the baby and live like most of the peasants off benefits.

Otherwise be logical as you just mentioned you don't have enough income to support the kid, have some compassion and think about the kid not being able to have what they deserve.

Easy choice you have there.

By the way, don't waste time or let it be more than 13 weeks as it might get complicated. It's a very easy and simple treatment before the 13 weeks of pregnancy.

Wish you the best.

Have a nice day!

Don't even get me started on this: so many non-sequiturs and assumptions. You're quite a catch ain'tcha?

Reply 27

loooopppyyy

Original post by Oblige

Abortion is an option, but the reasons you gave clearly make you a moron...

Reply 28

yudothis

Original post by secureinsecure

thank you so much to everyone for replying. I just want to clarify he father is very supportive bout things, and I considered deferring uni but I feel like I'll never get it done if I do that? Is 20 too young to have a baby?

Very controversial question. At face value of course not, in fact it is better at 20 than 30 in terms of health for both mother and baby.

But in terms of your life? Why do you "need" a baby now? Why before you even start university? Will you be a stay at home mum or do you want a career, if its the former why even study? I would argue for most people it's too early, but that doesn't mean it isn't right for you.

Reply 29

username2981082

Original post by secureinsecure

I would say yes it is too young but that is just my opinion. I would say if you want to have the baby then make sure you are fully prepared for it. Make sure you have the support of your friends and family. It is good that the father is being supportive.

There is no rush to go to university. Go to university when you're ready. I would advice you to defer a year of university, mainly because of your health. When you are pregnant you should be resting and not over-exerting yourself. Also, you might want to spend some time with your child at first rather than immediately leaving them in the care of someone else.

Reply 30

username3105252

Original post by DrSocSciences

Don't even get me started on this: so many non-sequiturs and assumptions. You're quite a catch ain'tcha?

You generally write what I'm thinking 😂

Reply 31

DrSocSciences

Original post by PCsqwelch

You generally write what I'm thinking 😂

I have no filter: it's a mixed blessing.

Reply 32

secureinsecure

Original post by DrSocSciences

I have no filter: it's a mixed blessing.

I feel as though its not that bad because all I need is a job and support from those who love me.... The only thing im missing is the house and career, am I missing something?

I know it'll be tiring but I could always take up a part time course, a family is all ive ever wanted the only other thing setting me back would be my age, because of social and parental expectations

Reply 33

LostYouth

Congratulations! Wishing you and your family all the best as you enter a new and exciting chapter of life.

Reply 34

DrSocSciences

Original post by secureinsecure

You're doing just fine, with some great opportunities ahead. All I'd recommend is that you maintain access to those opportunities rather than giving it all up.

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 35

secureinsecure

thanks for all the support im overwhelmed

Reply 36

Bungalow Bill

Original post by secureinsecure

From what o have heard, student loans aren't that much so I think you might struggle to support both yourself and your child. I would suggest that if your strapped for cash then maybe you should look into considering getting a part time job such as working in a department store which will work around your studies.

Reply 37

legallypond

Just to ask, do you know anyone around your age who has children? I'm 19, 20 in October, with a friend my age who has a 1 year old son, and although she loves her son more than anything she openly acknowledges she has missed out on years of freedom because she had a child so young. Personally - yes, 20 is too young, especially if you clearly have the potential to be going to uni. The fact is if you have a baby now you wont have the 'uni experience' you talk about - you won't be able to live in halls, dedicate time to societies - you'll struggle to dedicate enough time to your studies. Don't get me wrong, it can definitely be done - but if you rush into becoming a student and a mother at the same time you won't have the time or energy to be good at either. I highly suggest deferring your studies if you want to keep this baby, at least by a year - you talk about part-time courses but being a mother is a full-time kind of thing, and you definitely don't want to miss out on all those first year milestones because you're studying. Defer, give your baby a great start to life, then focus on your studies. I have to ask though, why do you have to do everything now? Both the baby and uni in one go? I can't wait to have children, but the point is - I am waiting to have children. If I got pregnant now I would without a doubt have an abortion, because I wouldnt be able to give it my all and frankly it would be selfish. Where would you live if you had the baby? Who would help look after them? Where would the money be coming from? Would you have the energy to raise a child AND study? It sounds harsh but youre being a bit too idealistic about the whole thing, and it seems like youve not thought everything through. I understand you want your family to support you, but with your circumstances I understand how they might think itll end up being them taking care of your baby, and after all, theyre not the ones pregnant. I seriously think you should pick one thing, baby or uni, and prioritise that for now.

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 38

Frankkly

Original post by whoisme

At the end of the day it's your choice.
Know that there's nothing wrong with it if you're early on in the pregnancy and want an abortion.
Think about whether it's the right time for you to have a child and whether you can ensure the child will have a good life.
Nothing's impossible, and with a bit of hard work I'm sure you could do it, but raising a baby is hard work. Are you doing it on your own?
You could delay uni until the baby is older?!
Whatever you choose to do, I wish you the best of luck!

Whoisme, there is something wrong with it! Are you glad you were born? Well aren't you lucky your mum didn't decide to abort you!!! Who speaks for the unborn??

Reply 39

username3105252

Let's not make this about your politics, now.
How are all the children you've adopted? Or are you one of those lovely pro birth people that only cares about a baby until its born. SMDH.
This girl needs help, not politics.