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Attracted to someone else

I've been going out with my boyfriend for several years now but recently I started a new job and have met a lot of new people. Amongst these new people is a really nice guy. I don't find him physically attractive but he has the most amazing personality. He is amazingly funny, kind and sweet and we like a lot of the same things. This is making me think about him totally differently. Obviously i'm not going to do anything with him because I have a boyfriend - but is it strange that i'm attracted to him even though he's not good looking? Is this whole situation really weird?

Reply 1

Nix!

11

Okay, I have a question for you --

Why do you think it's weird that you find other people attractive just because you're in a relationship?

Reply 2

Tianbao

1

well, if u like a person not because of thier good looking, than i suggest u should give a go~~but u r in relationship :frown:

~~~~

Reply 3

D-Day

10

No, it's not weird. Acting on it is a matter of whether you want to stay with your boyfriend though.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Nix!

Okay, I have a question for you --

Why do you think it's weird that you find other people attractive just because you're in a relationship?

I think its just because before I had everything I wanted from my boyfriend, from his personality. I would find other people attractive in a *wow they are gorgeous* sort of way, but now I find this guy attractive in a *cant stop thinking about how amazingly great he is* sort of way. Its a bit unnerving :s-smilie:

Reply 5

Nix!

11

Anonymous

I think its just because before I had everything I wanted from my boyfriend, from his personality. I would find other people attractive in a *wow they are gorgeous* sort of way, but now I find this guy attractive in a *cant stop thinking about how amazingly great he is* sort of way. Its a bit unnerving :s-smilie:

So leading on; why do you find it so? Do you not trust yourself? Have you lost feelings for your current partner?

Reply 6

Phantom Phoenix

13

I always find it odd when people say they fancy other people despite being in a serious relationship. I've been with my boyfriend over a year and I can honestly say I haven't once looked at a guy and considered him attractive in a way relevant to me. The OP described looking at men and seeing they are attractive, and I think she meant the same as what I'm talking about - it's sort of a matter of aesthetics, like "oh, they're quite attractive" and immediately forget them. I get more of a reaction to paintings now, frankly. Still, everyone's different, I guess. :smile:

OP, how likely do you think this newfound attraction is to become a problem in your relationship with your boyfriend? It could just be that, after several years, someone different and interesting has caught your attention, so to speak, but obviously it could develop into a difficulty.

Reply 7

China Doll

AMAZING u sure? check hes not too good to be true. - maybe u just dont love your bf anymre, it's not weird to like someone whos not good looking - relationships are better based on personality but u shud decide and not string ur boyfriend along. that's not either. but it is possible to still love ur bf and be attracted to other people it human nature.

Reply 8

Phantom Phoenix

13

China Doll

it's not weird to like someone whos not good looking - relationships are better based on personality

I also meant to say that :p:

Reply 9

brilliant blond

Have you told your bf about this? if not, see what he thinks

Reply 10

Phantom Phoenix

13

brilliant blond

Have you told your bf about this? if not, see what he thinks

Bloody hell, don't do that unless you want an insecure, paranoid boyfriend who thinks you're going off him and that he's no longer keeping you interested.

Reply 11

brilliant blond

Phantom Phoenix

Bloody hell, don't do that unless you want an insecure, paranoid boyfriend who thinks you're going off him and that he's no longer keeping you interested.

i didn't mean like that but, if you can't discuss things like that with your BF then i guess the realtionship is not going to be a long lasting one.

Reply 12

ar_super

Be very careful.
Too much attention towards this guy may make your partner/bf suspicious and jelous and may make him question your loyalty and commitment to him.

Reply 13

squeak

21

do you think about having sex with him? would you rather go out with him than your boyfriend?

if no..then why not just have the friendship...he has a great personality=great friend.

if yes.. then i'd really think about whether youre going to stay with your boyfriend.

don't get caught up in the fantasy of oooh someone new *thinks about them constantly*. if you were happy with your boyfriend before you met this guy then stay with your boyfriend...in my opinion/experience.

Reply 14

Profesh

20

You may wish to consider how exceptionally fortunate you are to exist in a stable, relatively happy relationship of several years' standing before throwing it all away for someone who could, in comparable circumstances, turn out to be every bit the colossal ****-up that, in all honesty, most people are.

Reply 15

username47781

20

It's perfectly normal to find other people attractive as long as you don't act on this.

Attracted to someone else

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