Big Day Tomorrow!

cpj1987

Some of you might remember, maybe, a post of mine a month or two ago, written whilst I was in a state of panic and shock because my real Dad, who I'd never known, and never been allowed to talk about, had found me on Facebook.
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?p=10076813&highlight=facebook+brought+us+together#post10076813

I got a lot of good advice on the thread that day; and people helped me clear my head a little and plan how to tell my Mum - which I did a few weekends ago at a cousin's Christening.

I was expecting arguments, and for her to tell me not to stay in contact with him; but instead, she said that she knew this would happen one day, that she'd never meant to hide information from me, but knew that it upset me; and that he's a great guy and she'd love for us to meet. All she asked was that I kept it all secret from the rest of my family until she felt it right to tell them.

Anyway; after a lot of talking, during which it was nice to be able to keep my Mum updated, my real Dad and I planned to meet up - and it's the big day tomorrow, I'm meeting him in a local pub at 1pm and he's buying me lunch.

I've got to say, I'm incredibly nervous. I can guarantee that we'll end up just sat there in an awkward silence - but at least I'll have the food to eat if that happens! Scary stuff, but I've been wishing for this day all my life, so I'm glad it's finally going to happen.

Don't know why I'm writing this thread; but a few people did ask me to keep them updated, and I just wanted to share.

Thanks to all those who offered advice in the first thread too!

:smile:

Reply 1

earthredalert89

9

Good luck, I hope it works out for you.

Reply 2

street

1

Omg this is so exciting! :smile:

I really hope it goes well :smile:

good luck!

Reply 3

Spudder

2

Get the best thing on the menu!

Reply 4

cpj1987

OP

15

Spudder

Get the best thing on the menu!

My Mum said that too. She was all 'Find the most expensive restaurant in Preston', but he's only a metro-driver, so I've chosen not to. That, and I've chosen the pub I spend a lot of time in with my best friend, so I can kinda draw on the comforts and security. :p:

Reply 5

randomgirl

14

Ah thats great news. I remember the thread.

Hope it goes well! :smile:

Reply 6

Kittennffc

15

Aww, good luck! Hope it goes well!

Reply 7

mollymustard

14

Oh my!
You are literally in exactly the same position as me two years ago.
I met my dad for the first time when I was 16 after I contacted him on Friends Reunited. My mum didnt know at first, but when she found out she was pretty fine about it as well.
I remember the first time I met him, we went to a cafe and had hot chocolate. My friends came along and sat on the table on the other side of the room (just incase he was a right weirdo).

It was terrifying at first. I remember feeling so sick inside I didn't know what it was going to be like and I did't know what to expect either.
At first, the conversation was a bit dry. What are you doing now? What hobbies do you have? etc are all pretty dull but the conversation begins to flow a bit after a while.
I'll be honest with you, It isn't easy. Theres things you probably want to say that are left unspoken and there are always awkward pauses but it gets easier.
I see my dad every month or so now, and each time I feel more and more relaxed. I found it difficult because he longed to hug me and things like that but I felt really uncomfortable with it (I still do). But as you get to know him as a person the silences get shorter and its much less tense.

Anyway, I wont go on too much about the whole thing. But if you feel like sending me a message or whatever I'd love to know how you get on.
I know however it goes, I dont think you will regret your decision

Good luck for tomorrow :smile:

Reply 8

~tifa

10

I remember that thread.
good thing it went well with your mum...and tomorrow would go fine too. don't worry much about it. I bet your dad's in the same position.

finally a chance to catch up on all the times you've missed together. good luck man.

Reply 9

cpj1987

OP

15

mollymustard

Oh my!
You are literally in exactly the same position as me two years ago.
I met my dad for the first time when I was 16 after I contacted him on Friends Reunited. My mum didnt know at first, but when she found out she was pretty fine about it as well.
I remember the first time I met him, we went to a cafe and had hot chocolate. My friends came along and sat on the table on the other side of the room (just incase he was a right weirdo).

It was terrifying at first. I remember feeling so sick inside I didn't know what it was going to be like and I did't know what to expect either.
At first, the conversation was a bit dry. What are you doing now? What hobbies do you have? etc are all pretty dull but the conversation begins to flow a bit after a while.
I'll be honest with you, It isn't easy. Theres things you probably want to say that are left unspoken and there are always awkward pauses but it gets easier.
I see my dad every month or so now, and each time I feel more and more relaxed. I found it difficult because he longed to hug me and things like that but I felt really uncomfortable with it (I still do). But as you get to know him as a person the silences get shorter and its much less tense.

Anyway, I wont go on too much about the whole thing. But if you feel like sending me a message or whatever I'd love to know how you get on.
I know however it goes, I dont think you will regret your decision

Good luck for tomorrow :smile:

Wow, thanks for that; it's really re-assuring!

I'll definitely let you know how it goes - think I'll come back to this thread tomorrow evening and post again.

I know what you mean about the awkwardness with hugging; all through my life it's been, for me, like I know I love my Dad, and I feel like I miss him, even though I've never known him. However, since we started speaking online, he's sent a lot of soppy messages, and told me that he loves me once or twice; and suddenly that's made me feel awkward - even though I know that before we were in contact, I felt the same. Hopefully I'll get used to that though; I think it's just the shock of having what's essentially a stranger tell you that they love you...

Thanks to everyone who's posted on here with good luck messages and stuff, really appreciate it. Nice to know I'm sharing this with people. :biggrin:

Reply 10

iliketurtles

12

aww thats a really nice story :smile:

I hope it goes well tomorrow

x

Reply 11

qubog

12

Yes, I remember that thread. Good luck OP :smile:

let us know how you get on

Reply 12

L i b

19

Aw, bless.

Hope it goes well.

Reply 13

Cyril Sneer's Nose

1

Best wishes. Hope it goes well. :smile:

Reply 14

abc101

17

Good luck for tomorrow! Hope everything goes well.

Reply 15

cpj1987

OP

15

Hello everyone!

I've just returned from 3 hours with my Dad; and they went well! As I said, I was really nervous, and worried that we'd end up sitting in complete silence for the duration of lunch, but we actually ended up chatting lots, catching up on 20 years; he's a really nice person from what I've seen. :smile:

In a very good mood at the moment, it doesn't seem real but at the same time, I feel very calm about it all. It's his Mum's 60th in a few weeks and he's invited me along to the family reunion they're having, as a 'surprise guest' for her - i.e. I turn up without anyone, other than him, knowing I'll be there.

So glad we've met up now, yay!

Reply 16

RosiePosiePuddingAndPie

12

eeee I'm glad it went well for ya!!! :biggrin:

And meeting your Grandma in a few weeks? That's really cool! (well, not 'cool', but you know what I mean :p:

)

Does he live near you then, or did he travel to see you?

Reply 17

mollymustard

14

cpj1987

Hello everyone!

I've just returned from 3 hours with my Dad; and they went well! As I said, I was really nervous, and worried that we'd end up sitting in complete silence for the duration of lunch, but we actually ended up chatting lots, catching up on 20 years; he's a really nice person from what I've seen. :smile:

In a very good mood at the moment, it doesn't seem real but at the same time, I feel very calm about it all. It's his Mum's 60th in a few weeks and he's invited me along to the family reunion they're having, as a 'surprise guest' for her - i.e. I turn up without anyone, other than him, knowing I'll be there.

So glad we've met up now, yay!

Wow! Well done, its sounds like it all went fabulously!
The reunion sounds really good as well...
Does your dad have any children? (Sorry I'm a nosey little thing).