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my sister keeps causing arguments

okay so as the title suggests my sister keeps causing arguments. I'll explain the last 2 arguments she caused. So one of the arguments were created because she wasnt happy with the amount of advice I gave. She was sharing her problems and bear in mind shes mentioned this problem many times before and I always spend hours advising her telling her every piece of advice I can think of. Eventually I ran out of things to say so I still spent hours repeating the same things I said before in the hopes that it will reinforce my advice then when this argument was created I thought I have already repeated my advice many times before and couldn't think of anything else so this time instead of a few hours my advice was alot more concise and she wasn't happy with that. Later she apologised saying she was taking her anger out on me.

The last argument was caused because she was explaining one of her problems which were that because of an incident that happened she is now obsessed with perfection and trying to meet it. I found that silly as I can see no one can reach perfection anyway so I told her that and told her that it would be best to try and change her way of thinking. I was quiet as I was allowing her to speak and didnt ask questions because I didn't want her to disturb her train of thought and be able to get everything out. Guess what? She wasn't happy again. She had a problem with the fact that I wasn't asking questions and she was saying I had a judgemental look on my face and I wasn't trying to understand as I wasn't asking questions. I wasn't being judgemental but like I said I found being obsessed with perfection silly as it's impossible anyway. I think my sister does think it's possible to attain perfection as she always says that shes always surrounded by perfect people (she said she thinks me and my sibling are perfect and because of that she thinks we got more attention from our parents, which are a misunderstanding which I explained to her). I am far from perfect and I have many flaws in my opinion which I also did say to her.

Why is she doing this to me? I feel like my effort isn't being appreciated and I feel horrible
Reply 1
anyone?
Reply 2
so no one is gonna respond :frown: okay
Reply 3
???????????????????????
No idea, but you should probably express your concerns to your sister so she doesn't start arguments as much.
Reply 5
Original post by Throwaway740
No idea, but you should probably express your concerns to your sister so she doesn't start arguments as much.


Thank you for responding :smile: I have told her that it concerns me and said sometimes I think is it even worth it to help her because she always has a problem with my help even though I'm trying my best
Reply 6
Like you said, she has her own issues to deal with - the problem obviously isn't you. You tried to help, and that's all you can do. I'm sure it'll blow over. Just let her work through this by herself, now.
Reply 7
Original post by 2-99
Like you said, she has her own issues to deal with - the problem obviously isn't you. You tried to help, and that's all you can do. I'm sure it'll blow over. Just let her work through this by herself, now.


Thank you for the answer :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
okay so as the title suggests my sister keeps causing arguments. I'll explain the last 2 arguments she caused. So one of the arguments were created because she wasnt happy with the amount of advice I gave. She was sharing her problems and bear in mind shes mentioned this problem many times before and I always spend hours advising her telling her every piece of advice I can think of. Eventually I ran out of things to say so I still spent hours repeating the same things I said before in the hopes that it will reinforce my advice then when this argument was created I thought I have already repeated my advice many times before and couldn't think of anything else so this time instead of a few hours my advice was alot more concise and she wasn't happy with that. Later she apologised saying she was taking her anger out on me.

The last argument was caused because she was explaining one of her problems which were that because of an incident that happened she is now obsessed with perfection and trying to meet it. I found that silly as I can see no one can reach perfection anyway so I told her that and told her that it would be best to try and change her way of thinking. I was quiet as I was allowing her to speak and didnt ask questions because I didn't want her to disturb her train of thought and be able to get everything out. Guess what? She wasn't happy again. She had a problem with the fact that I wasn't asking questions and she was saying I had a judgemental look on my face and I wasn't trying to understand as I wasn't asking questions. I wasn't being judgemental but like I said I found being obsessed with perfection silly as it's impossible anyway. I think my sister does think it's possible to attain perfection as she always says that shes always surrounded by perfect people (she said she thinks me and my sibling are perfect and because of that she thinks we got more attention from our parents, which are a misunderstanding which I explained to her). I am far from perfect and I have many flaws in my opinion which I also did say to her.

Why is she doing this to me? I feel like my effort isn't being appreciated and I feel horrible

how old is she?
mans not reading all dat
Arguing is pretty much an inevitable part of family life, because you've spent so long with a certain person and because ywe often don't feel the need to inhibit ourselves around our family members in the same way that we do with friends. From the fact that you are giving your sister advice it doesn't sound like she's having the easiest time at the moment so maybe this could be contributing to her behaviour and one her current situation improve she frequent arguments may stop. The fact that she's apologised to you suggests she doesn't wish to cause arguments but sometimes emotion/ frustrations get the better of us.

Especially the fact that she recieves less attention from your parents gives an understandable reason, but not a justification, as to why she may act in a certain way occasionally.
Does no one in your family ever argue? These arguments really do not sound severe enoiugh to warrant concern
You have a situation that is never going to stop. One you can't help. To argue black is white is what's going. Your advise although asked for is not taken. Diagnosis: THE POOR ME syndrome. You don't seem to get more attention from your parents. They are rewarding her bad behaviour Parents flying under the radar, keeping out of her firing line themselves. Incapable of giving any justice. Your sister is big enough to handle her own issues her own precious way. Take a big step back in a situation that is never going g to stop until your sister stops being selfish and starts thinking of others instead of only her selfish self. Rule 1. You do not have to put up with bad behaviour from any one not even your manipulative sister.

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