Thoughts on monogamy?

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LostYouth
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#1
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Do you think successful monogamous relationships are viable and sustainable in this day and age? By "successful" I mean free of infidelity. It seems that, generally speaking, we are shifting away from monogamy as the ideal form of relationship, towards more polygamous/ polyamourous relationship structures or outright cheating as the norm. With music, film and literature glamourising the latter types of relationship—and people seemingly embracing these ideas—, do you think it's best not to enter relationships on the assumption one won't get cheated on?
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username3280668
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What you smoking bro. There's nothing to think about monogamy because it's the norm. Do you even know what it means? It means being with one partner at a time, not having only ever been in one relationship.
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username2950448
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There is definitely a greater trend towards 'open relationships' and 'fluidity' in general. The declining importance of marriage is also contributing to this. I see no reason why polygamy should actually be banned, other than the potential for cultural/religious abuse (but this problem exists for many things and doesn't justify a blanket ban).

On the other hand, monogamous relationships very much remain the norm and those in 'open relationships' more often than not end up returning to the norm eventually, so I don't think it is a big threat to society as we know it today.
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unprinted
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It's what society says is the norm, but there are an awful lot of 'monogamous' relationships where one or both parties know that it's not.

It's best to start relationships with a discussion about what's expected, when you're going to have another discussion about things - attitudes can change - and to agree that if someone does go outside the agreed boundaries, they tell the others involved.
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claireestelle
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I think they are still viable in this day and age, but perhaps monogamy isn't for everyone at all points of their life.
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43 yr/old WILF
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**** that, if I want anal, I get anal.
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username2926188
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Reminds me of this video
https://youtu.be/TymswviNheg
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username1801813
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idk but I've always considered relationships that aren't monogamous really weird, in terms of where one party or both parties are free to sleep with someone else. like, if they're not enough for you why be with them? idk whatever floats your goat I suppose.
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LostYouth
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(Original post by Throwaway740)
What you smoking bro. There's nothing to think about monogamy because it's the norm. Do you even know what it means? It means being with one partner at a time, not having only ever been in one relationship.
Yes, and one of the elements of my original post was to question how sustainable this is. In other words, how sustainable is it—in this day and age—to be with one partner at a time or, better yet, to expect your partner to be with just you at any one time? There are so many factors driving this question, chief amongst them an increased willingness to cheat, greater emancipation of women and open dialogue about their sexuality and sexual nature, the wider availability of contraception, loosening of divorce laws, glorification of "side chicks" in pop culture, etc.

Perhaps you should have considered the nuances of the question first.
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LostYouth
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(Original post by Emerald7770)
Reminds me of this video
https://youtu.be/TymswviNheg
He made a very valid point to be fair.
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username3280668
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(Original post by LostYouth)
Yes, and one of the elements of my original post was to question how sustainable this is. In other words, how sustainable is it—in this day and age—to be with one partner at a time or, better yet, to expect your partner to be with just you at any one time? There are so many factors driving this question, chief amongst them an increased willingness to cheat, greater emancipation of women and open dialogue about their sexuality and sexual nature, the wider availability of contraception, loosening of divorce laws, glorification of "side chicks" in pop culture, etc.

Perhaps you should have considered the nuances of the question first.
I mean yeah there's lots of divorces but there's also a good number of successful marriages. So a normal, monogamous relationship can be perfectly sustainable. Isn't the Queen still married?
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jkls92
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The traditional "bourgeois" marriage is a social institution bound to fail unless it's reformed. An example of how it has changed over the years is the spread of divorces. But the idea that we can spend several years/decades with the same sexual partner still resists (the economist recently made an article on this).

I can't imagine having to stand more than one wife, so polygamy isn't a viable option for me.

On the other hand, I support a "free" kind of marriage where the spouses can have other sexual partners. However, I'm not persuaded that people (especially women) are firm enough: many would fall in love with one of their extramarital partners and leave the original family. Therefore, if we accept that family is a fundament of human society, this solution is socially unsustainable.
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