Is this relationship really over?

Can anyone help at all on this before I try and get some sleep?

Have you both ever thought about going for couple counselling? It may help to talk to an impartial individual.

Can anyone help at all on this before I try and get some sleep?

No not really, it's not something we wanna do or ever really wanna do :/

I can relate to this story in so many ways. Just reading it actually gave me a bit of déjà vu. The long and short of it is: yes, the relationship really is over. You may get back together again and give things another stab, but the essence of your relationship is sordid at this point. So sordid, in fact, that you won't ever be sustainably together again. The sad thing about being in these very long relationships at such a young age is that you both grow apart in quite a big way without realising it. From experience alone, you actually realise, the longer you are together, how much you don't know yourself and how necessary it is for you to take time out and figure out who you are. The things that once brought you together now tear you apart and you are both pulling in opposite directions. It doesn't help that hurt compounds itself over time, so the longer you stay in a rocky relationship, the worse it gets. By the time you realise it's best to just end things and leave it, you are both too hurt to let things go amicably. It is best, therefore, to end it now before it gets too late.

Thank you for your reply, funnily enough we have said end it now before it's too late but I guess it's just hard. I guess I contradict myself sometimes, sometimes I will think about all the bad and think we need to be over but then I think of all the good and I think how much I love him and I don't want to spend any my life without him as my partner!

He loves me a lot to and neither of us want it to be over or want any of this, but I don't know what else we can do. He says a lot of the time I initiate the arguments and I always feel like we could try again with me not trying to argue or get stressed if you know what I mean.

Thank you for your reply, funnily enough we have said end it now before it's too late but I guess it's just hard. I guess I contradict myself sometimes, sometimes I will think about all the bad and think we need to be over but then I think of all the good and I think how much I love him and I don't want to or spend my life with him as my partner!

He loves me a lot to and neither of us want it to be over or want any of this, but I don't know what else we can do. He says a lot of the time I initiate the arguments and I always feel like we could try again with me not trying to argue or get stressed if you know what I mean.

In the end there's a long of finger pointing. A lot of naming, blaming and shaming. But it's not worth it at all. It just prolongs the pain and intensifies the feelings of resentment after. You don't want that really. After being with someone for 7 years, it's safe to say you must have been friends at the core, and you don't want to let that go just because the romantic relationship didn't work out. Don't throw out the baby with the bathwater.

End things. Cut each other out for a while. No communication whatsoever. Block each other on social media. Focus, instead, on yourselves and your personal growth. Invest in yourselves: read more, travel more, exercise more, eat well, rest well, take up a new hobby, meet new people to be friends with, spend more time with friends and family, start a business, etc.—do all the things you ever wanted to do but couldn't, or thought you couldn't. Whatever you do, though, don't get into a rebound relationship or sleep around to console yourself. It'll backfire massively. If possible, avoid relationships and flings altogether for some time. You need time to grieve and heal first.

In the end there's a long of finger pointing. A lot of naming, blaming and shaming. But it's not worth it at all. It just prolongs the pain and intensifies the feelings of resentment after. You don't want that really. After being with someone for 7 years, it's safe to say you must have been friends at the core, and you don't want to let that go just because the romantic relationship didn't work out. Don't throw out the baby with the bathwater.

End things. Cut each other out for a while. No communication whatsoever. Block each other on social media. Focus, instead, on yourselves and your personal growth. Invest in yourselves: read more, travel more, exercise more, eat well, rest well, take up a new hobby, meet new people to be friends with, spend more time with friends and family, start a business, etc.—do all the things you ever wanted to do but couldn't, or thought you couldn't. Whatever you do, though, don't get into a rebound relationship or sleep around to console yourself. It'll backfire massively. If possible, avoid relationships and flings altogether for some time. You need time to grieve and heal first.

Yeah there is a lot of naming shaming and blaming to be fair ... we wasn't really friends at the start, I knew him two months before getting together last year we had a bad break up for six months where please don't judge I slept with a guy multiple times and that's something that has been difficult for him to put behind us.... he and we have both said we would end it civilly as we get on so well and we would try and stay friends, he wouldnt be up for blocking each other on social media I know that much, he is quite sensitive about that and wouldn't see any reason to block me or me block him. I definitely think we need time for ourselves I guess it's just hard letting it go when everything's so calm? It's much easier when there seems to be a bigger and better reason :/

Perhaps he's still hurt about you sleeping with someone. Hence the insecurities which make arguments.