What would you do in this situation? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
So basically i am a girl who has always dated guys, For the past three months i have been dating a girl, Well i considered it dating to be honest.
We have been out to a few places.. mostly eating but otherwise we would hang out at her house or just at the park.
We can just sit and talk for hours which i think is great, By the way she's a lesbian and has always been in to girls unlike me.

It's so confuting for me because every single time we meet we always kiss each other and i mean like a proper kiss, and we always hug and flirt and we have never done anything sexual with each other but have come close a couple of times and have spoke a little about it.

She's a very shy girl who doesn't really like to talk about how shes feeling so i kinda found it difficult that i was developing feelings for this girl and i thought it wasn't going anywhere.. i thought maybe this is just because she was shy.

Soo last night we were on facetime (which we practically are every week night) and i asked her what she saw me as, like a friend? or more and then she just crawled back into her shell and wouldn't say anything but she said i should have text her the question so i did and this was her exact response:

`I see you as a friend, I dont see anyone in that way tbh, i think cos i have some stuff going on in my head, its hard for me to know how i feel sometimes, hmmm i dunno' and then she said she enjoyed spending time with me.

So yeah basically just asking what you guys would do in this situation, i'm kind of thinking i can just be friends with her and we can cut out the kissing and flirting, But i still personally cant understand how she has gone on this way with me and then just says she see's it as friends.
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999tigger
Badges: 19
#2
Report 2 years ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
So basically i am a girl who has always dated guys, For the past three months i have been dating a girl, Well i considered it dating to be honest.
We have been out to a few places.. mostly eating but otherwise we would hang out at her house or just at the park.
We can just sit and talk for hours which i think is great, By the way she's a lesbian and has always been in to girls unlike me.

It's so confuting for me because every single time we meet we always kiss each other and i mean like a proper kiss, and we always hug and flirt and we have never done anything sexual with each other but have come close a couple of times and have spoke a little about it.

She's a very shy girl who doesn't really like to talk about how shes feeling so i kinda found it difficult that i was developing feelings for this girl and i thought it wasn't going anywhere.. i thought maybe this is just because she was shy.

Soo last night we were on facetime (which we practically are every week night) and i asked her what she saw me as, like a friend? or more and then she just crawled back into her shell and wouldn't say anything but she said i should have text her the question so i did and this was her exact response:

`I see you as a friend, I dont see anyone in that way tbh, i think cos i have some stuff going on in my head, its hard for me to know how i feel sometimes, hmmm i dunno' and then she said she enjoyed spending time with me.

So yeah basically just asking what you guys would do in this situation, i'm kind of thinking i can just be friends with her and we can cut out the kissing and flirting, But i still personally cant understand how she has gone on this way with me and then just says she see's it as friends.
1. How do you know she is a lesbian? You know about her gfs or she has told you?
2. Whatever she feels she has told you she isnt ready for more. She just may not be interested in anyone. Shyness can be crippling so I wouldnt push it.
3. Id probably stop the kissing to avoid confusion and just be friends as you seem sound with that idea.
4. There may be more but leave that for another time. No point trying to figure it out just accept nothing is happening.
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
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(Original post by 999tigger)
1. How do you know she is a lesbian? You know about her gfs or she has told you?
2. Whatever she feels she has told you she isnt ready for more. She just may not be interested in anyone. Shyness can be crippling so I wouldnt push it.
3. Id probably stop the kissing to avoid confusion and just be friends as you seem sound with that idea.
4. There may be more but leave that for another time. No point trying to figure it out just accept nothing is happening.

Because she has told me she is and told me about past things with girls although she has kinda said she's never had a girlfriend before just because she didn't want it.
I understand that because i am a little shy myself and it used to be really bad for me, I just wonder how she can be kissing and touching me and not expecting it to lead to anything else.
But yeah it's my plan to stop the kissing, move on and just keep it friendly i guess
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999tigger
Badges: 19
#4
Report 2 years ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
Because she has told me she is and told me about past things with girls although she has kinda said she's never had a girlfriend before just because she didn't want it.
I understand that because i am a little shy myself and it used to be really bad for me, I just wonder how she can be kissing and touching me and not expecting it to lead to anything else.
But yeah it's my plan to stop the kissing, move on and just keep it friendly i guess
Try and focus on the friendship and dont waste time on the other. Kissing wouldnt be normal as friends, not in the way i believe you suggest. I can understand the confusion, so just dont waste time on it and remove it from the equation. You may just be curious and not fixed on your sexuality yet so its quite normal. See where it goes and dont forget she is shy, so she may feel she is sharing a great deal with you that she cannot with anyone else. You seem to have a handle on it.
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#5
(Original post by 999tigger)
Try and focus on the friendship and dont waste time on the other. Kissing wouldnt be normal as friends, not in the way i believe you suggest. I can understand the confusion, so just dont waste time on it and remove it from the equation. You may just be curious and not fixed on your sexuality yet so its quite normal. See where it goes and dont forget she is shy, so she may feel she is sharing a great deal with you that she cannot with anyone else. You seem to have a handle on it.
Yeah i agree that it wouldn't be, So i guess i will have to say in in a gentle way because i have a feeling she will still try to carry on as we have been, even after telling me she just want's to be friends.
But yeah i guess only time will tell what will happen

But honestly thank you so much for your advice , I really appreciate it... its good to hear what someone else thinks as well
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