Why do non religious people get married?

Probably not many. Fair enough if you care about that stuff though.

I like churches, the religious institute behind them is not my concern.

I like churches, the religious institute behind them is not my concern.

I've spent a lot of years trying to make sense of people who think like this, and I just can't. The religious institition behind them is the whole thing; they can't be separated into religious and secular entities.

I'm all for welcoming people into the church, but find it hard to understand why non-religious people would want to make a big show of having a wedding in one. Like CCBB said, it's a little bit fraudulent, especially when a lot of religious people will be doing the service, and by definition will be taking it more seriously than you are - because while you and your partner are declaring to each other the world your love for one another, the priest is facilitating that, and uniting you before God and eternity. For him/her, it's God's work, while for you it's a pretty building with bells and an organ.

Do you feel nothing about that?

Everybody wins is how I see it, we all get what we want.

I've spent a lot of years trying to make sense of people who think like this, and I just can't. The religious institition behind them is the whole thing; they can't be separated into religious and secular entities.

I'm all for welcoming people into the church, but find it hard to understand why non-religious people would want to make a big show of having a wedding in one. Like CCBB said, it's a little bit fraudulent, especially when a lot of religious people will be doing the service, and by definition will be taking it more seriously than you are - because while you and your partner are declaring to each other the world your love for one another, the priest is facilitating that, and uniting you before God and eternity. For him/her, it's God's work, while for you it's a pretty building with bells and an organ.

Do you feel nothing about that?

Hmm I'm still not entirely sure I understand your thinking, but eh, there's nothing to be gained by arguing with you. As long as you're respectful if you do that, that's all I (and other faithful) can ask. I'd never say non-religious should be barred from religious services; at the end of the day that's what the point is - welcoming people. I just can't understand why someone without that faith would want to. To me it'd be like going into a fancy restaurant and asking for a packet of crisps and a can of Red Stripe.

Definitely agree with this. You summed up so well how I see things.

The sanctity of marriage in a church and what it represents from a Christian view point indeed makes me wonder why non Christians can take it so lightly to get married in an institution that has principles and values that are incongrous with their own.

A marriage ordained in Christianity includes Christ in the union and so the assumption is that the relationship is not just the two people, but it's a relationship with three people as a cord of three strands is not easily broken (Ecclesiastics 4:12).

There are two couples I know who attended CofE churches over 6-12 months in 2014 and 2015 just so they could get married in the building - they needed to sign the register every week. Couple one is now divorced. Couple two has separated, pending a divorce. Both were extremely lavish weddings that broke the bank.

I'm not saying there's a connection between their separations and their wedding ceremony, but watching these two separations has led me to ponder things. I'm observing and learning about the institution of marriage in the church. I don't just see marriage as a legal contract in order to benefit myself and if ever I were to get married, I will give it the reverence that it signifies and deserves in Christianity.

It is more like going to a fancy restaurant not for the food but for the atmosphere and excellent service, the restaurant get your money, the only thing they care about and you get what you really came for.

but you won't fully experience either of those things if you don't order a meal.

I take your point though. If being married means enough to you that you want to do it the "proper," "traditional" way, then go for it and good on you. But if it really is just about the music, the bells, how much better a church looks in pictures than a registry office or hotel suite... well, that's a little bit vain.

Also I hope you didn't take my comment about arguing before the wrong way; I meant I don't want to be hostile, rather than being dismissive.

These days rights are almost the same for non married co habiters, as they are for the married couples, so it just makes me wonder why non religious people get married?

I can understand why marriage unions that are ordained by religion happen, but given that legal rights are very similar, I don't understand why non religious people get married. In some instances it's arguably a burden, especially when it comes to divorce

I care little for pictures. I want a church because they are beautiful places, my local church is wonderful, a proper village church nestled between farmer's fields. It is in one of the most beautiful places on earth and where I grew up. It is the church I had my school services in as well. I want that church in particular.

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