Relationship - change in direction, good thing?

12

Say I have a gf, and we are deeply in love. Is it a good idea, in say 2-3 years, move on, and break up.

I know it sounds selfish, but as a guy, I want to develop a relationship with more then 1 person before I marry.

very confused, I am thinking it would be better to get dumped, so your not responsible.

Reply 1

username136883

8

You're not 'deeply in love'. People who are 'deeply in love' don't ponder on the best way to split with the person they're with just because they feel they want to have different relationships - you very obviously don't love her at all. (However, I'm not sure if you're actually in a relationship or the entire thing is hypothetical. If it's the latter, change everything that's 'you are' to 'you would be' :P)

Thinking in an abstract way that you'd prefer more than one relationship is fine and probably quite common, but planning it when you're with someone is completely different.

Reply 2

YAP

:dito:

I've been with my other half since I was 16, nearly 9 years now; first relationship for either of us. Not once have either of us thought of breaking up just to get another notch on the bedpost. If you truly are 'deeply in love', it would be crazy to throw all of that away.

Reply 3

fairycakes

12

yeah i agree. you can't really be in love.

i used to think like you. i was with this guy at the beginning of uni, for a year and a half. we loved each other and i thought he was the 'one'. he was going on his year abroad the beginning of 3rd year. i guess i used it as an excuse to say maybe we should see if we really do love each other by going out with other people and if we can't find anyone, then we must be meant to be. it was stupid, now it think about it now. but i really believed that we were meant to be at the time, and we could take going out with other people becuase i really believed would get back together.

now i see it's cos he wasn't meant to be, and i just WANTED it to be right. i wished my first bf would be my true love. but i knew i he wasn't. i'm not sure if i'm making sense.

but basically. if yo are thinking abot being with other people, then it's not true love. just break up. or work at it.

xxxx

Reply 4

moshing-fairy

14

GuyUK

Say I have a gf, and we are deeply in love. Is it a good idea, in say 2-3 years, move on, and break up.

I know it sounds selfish, but as a guy, I want to develop a relationship with more then 1 person before I marry.

very confused, I am thinking it would be better to get dumped, so your not responsible.

Hmm im sort of confused. But I think i understand what you mean.

I feel like i am in love with my boyfriend.
but i thought i was in love with my ex.

And i think this time hmm maybe we could be together for a long time, but only say 4 years because i cant meet the "one" when i'm so young!.

so i agree. but i think we are both stupid to see things this way. you shouldnt go into a r-ship/be in one, thinking ahhh well yeah this is great but it'll end soon enough/ in 2 years or something. You should just go with the flow. because meh you might end up with them, who knows. and just thinking of it as a time bomb is not a good way to be with someone.

Reply 5

*Ella*

I think people are being pretty unfair to the OP.

How can you really know what you've got if you have nothing to compare it to?

Reply 6

grammar_king

2

I think people are missing the fact that this is a hypothetical situation, it starts with "say".

Reply 7

spacecowgirl89

1

Hmm, well it's normal from time to time when you're in your first long term relationship where you feel deeply for the other person to think well, I'm attracted to another person, or I feel like if I stayed with this person forever then would I regret not having the chance to go out with anyone else?

I've felt like this occasionally in the past and still do some days, but it's never more than a fleeting thought and I know it's the same with my boyfriend. If you truly love someone then you don't see your relationship as something to throw away after a few years just so you can move on to someone else.

Relationship - change in direction, good thing?

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