Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

Should I expect more from my fwb?

Background: I'm almost 20, he's 37. We met online and have been in this situation for just shy of 2 years.

Apologies for the wording; I wasn't entirely sure as to how to lay this out.

Whilst I am content with the 'benefits' aspect of our relationship, I'd really like to do things outside of the bedroom. Normal stuff that you'd do with a friend, like going to the proms or for a movie etc.

However I'm not really sure on how to broach the subject, or whether to do so at all. We currently only meet up for sex, and our conversations are a weird mix of setting dates, his political views and things that might have happened that week. I'll be honest: sometimes I'll try and input or keep the conversation flowing, but outside of a few of my personal issues he's interested in, the conversation ends quite quickly. I occasionally feel that he doesn't think very much of me, though this is an insecurity I've never raised with him and to be fair it is a (largely baseless) fear that I am dealing with.

I guess what I'm trying to say is should I attempt to pursue that 'friend' aspect, or should I just be content with what I have?

Reply 1

WW2

what if his other girlfriends get jealous?

Reply 2

Proxenus

dw ur not the only one.

i know a 20 y/o girl who is now dating her lecturer who is 40. he changed jobs so its all good

Reply 3

ellisx

You've been in this for two years and nothing has yet to come out of it? Not to mention that age difference. I doubt he sees this as serious. No harm in asking but prepare yourself to face rejection as it is not uncommon with FWB. Now you both agreed on the type of relationship you have, he doesn't own you ANYTHING. You can expect more but it doesn't mean he owe's it to you. The fact your conversations seem stilted says a lot about how he feels about you. If he wanted more, you'd notice it in his body language, how he'd try and keep conversation flowing. I'm afraid that he sees you solely as someone to have sex with when no other options are available. End it now if he doesn't want more because why waste anymore time with someone who doesn't care about you?

Reply 4

yungaheartz

Don't ask, don't get

Just bite the bullet and ask him straight out one day, if he says no then you know where you stand with him (that he just sees you as sex and nothing else or worse still that he might be too ashamed to be seen out with you - which says hes possibly married or in a relationship and you're his bit on the side)