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Was me or my dad in the wrong?

So lets get straight to the point. A couple of days ago i noticed my dad was trying to hide his phone away from me (bear in mind i ALWAYS use to go on his phone) I took up his phone so i could go on Instagram and he immediately told me to get a drink for him, and when i came back he was pretending he was on it, i ignored it, i just thought their was something inappropriate for me to be watching (e.g bombing and Syria and stuff like that). So any fast forward 2 days or so, he went in the kitchen and i went in to get a drink, as soon as i came in he closed his phone and pretend to be reading a book what was in front of him, that got me suspicious. My mother and father have a badly damaged relationship, one minute they would be talking and the next the wouldn't talk, my mother always accuses my dad of going out with other women and that. Anyways later in the day i went on my dads phone, and i immediately went on whatsapp and their was this woman on archived, i looked at it and she was like "Hi babe" and all that. I think she sent my dad a pic and he was like "wowo ah what a picture, always thinking of you, keep smiling, one love <3" then she was like "ah thank you, i love your accent" and some other stuff. I got really pissed off and deleted her number, when i confronted my dad, he was getting mad AT ME! He was like some ppl speak nicely and he was saying your mothers infected you good and all that. Who do you think was wrong???

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Original post by Ello32
So lets get straight to the point. A couple of days ago i noticed my dad was trying to hide his phone away from me (bear in mind i ALWAYS use to go on his phone) I took up his phone so i could go on Instagram and he immediately told me to get a drink for him, and when i came back he was pretending he was on it, i ignored it, i just thought their was something inappropriate for me to be watching (e.g bombing and Syria and stuff like that). So any fast forward 2 days or so, he went in the kitchen and i went in to get a drink, as soon as i came in he closed his phone and pretend to be reading a book what was in front of him, that got me suspicious. My mother and father have a badly damaged relationship, one minute they would be talking and the next the wouldn't talk, my mother always accuses my dad of going out with other women and that. Anyways later in the day i went on my dads phone, and i immediately went on whatsapp and their was this woman on archived, i looked at it and she was like "Hi babe" and all that. I think she sent my dad a pic and he was like "wowo ah what a picture, always thinking of you, keep smiling, one love <3" then she was like "ah thank you, i love your accent" and some other stuff. I got really pissed off and deleted her number, when i confronted my dad, he was getting mad AT ME! He was like some ppl speak nicely and he was saying your mothers infected you good and all that. Who do you think was wrong???


Moved to Friends, Family and work

TBF to him, you don't have a right to go through his private things. Yes, I've gone on my parents phones with their permission; but I wouldn't go through their messages. Although, my dad did once ask me to check something and I'm sure both have asked me to text people for them.
Reply 2
Both wrong really. But I guess if anyone saw someone acting suspicious they'd probably be curious too...
You are the only one in the wrong. Folk deserve privacy on their phone.
Both in the wrong. He shouldn't be talking to women like that and you shouldn't have gone down his phone without permission.
But I'm not going to lie, if I saw either my mum or dad being weird with their phone like that, I would have done the same.
Reply 5
Original post by UniWasEz
You are the only one in the wrong. Folk deserve privacy on their phone.


But the thing is, my mums ALWAYS saying my dad just sits downstairs whatsapping his girlfriend, and i feel disappointed that my mum was right, when i though my dad would never do something like that!
Reply 6
Original post by Magicphilos
Both in the wrong. He shouldn't be talking to women like that and you shouldn't have gone down his phone without permission.
But I'm not going to lie, if I saw either my mum or dad being weird with their phone like that, I would have done the same.


I totally get you, but usually i DONT need permission to go on his phone lol so of course its easy and natural for me to just go on it, since i don't have own phone. But i get u and i feel super bad now
Original post by Ello32
But the thing is, my mums ALWAYS saying my dad just sits downstairs whatsapping his girlfriend, and i feel disappointed that my mum was right, when i though my dad would never do something like that!


You might think less of him now but it doesn't change the fact that you went on his phone to go through his messages.
You shouldn't be on his phone and he shouldn't be snaking. There's no smoke without fire.
Reply 9
Original post by UniWasEz
You might think less of him now but it doesn't change the fact that you went on his phone to go through his messages.


And that doesn't change the fact he put a woman on archive trying to hide things away from me and making it bait that he's sneaking and saying a woman calling you "babe" is completely normal and fine.
I accept and know i was wrong but that doesn't mean he wasn't.
Original post by Ello32
I totally get you, but usually i DONT need permission to go on his phone lol so of course its easy and natural for me to just go on it, since i don't have own phone. But i get u and i feel super bad now


I don't ever need permission to use my parents phones either so I understand where you're coning from. However, your intention was to check his WhatsApp for any shadiness which is where you being in the wrong, as well as him so don't feel too bad, comes in. In the grand scheme of things, you going down his phone allowed you to uncover the nature of his conversations with other women. At least you and your mum really know what he gets up to on his phone now.
I don't think youre in the wrong. I'm glad you caught him. My dad did it to my mum too and it destroyed her, and us. He's not only cheating on his wife but he's cheating his whole family. It's disgusting. I would go on my dads phone too idgaf, if he was hiding something then I'd find out, he's my dad, not a stranger. Of course I'd go through his phone if he was being suspicious
Original post by Ello32
And that doesn't change the fact he put a woman on archive trying to hide things away from me and making it bait that he's sneaking and saying a woman calling you "babe" is completely normal and fine.
I accept and know i was wrong but that doesn't mean he wasn't.


It isn't your business who he talks to.
Reply 13
Original post by UniWasEz
It isn't your business who he talks to.


It kinda is and kinda isn't. Do u even know what if feels like, HE'S DOING THAT TO MY MUM. My mum is my mum and my dad is my dad i love them equally. Would you like your dad to be doing that to your mum? And what if you had a chance of actually knowing if he was doing that to your mum, would you see if he was or just leave it and never know and feel guilty when your mum's accusing him of these things?
Original post by Ello32
It kinda is and kinda isn't. Do u even know what if feels like, HE'S DOING THAT TO MY MUM. My mum is my mum and my dad is my dad i love them equally. Would you like your dad to be doing that to your mum? And what if you had a chance of actually knowing if he was doing that to your mum, would you see if he was or just leave it and never know and feel guilty when your mum's accusing him of these things?


How would you feel if he was going through your stuff?
Reply 15
Original post by Tiger Rag
How would you feel if he was going through your stuff?


First thing first, that doesn't really make sense, because i was going thru his stuff for my mums sake. If he was to go thru my stuff and i was being sneaky (second thing, i wouldn't make it so clear that im being sneaky) i don't think it would bother me unless i really had something to hide.
Original post by Ello32
It kinda is and kinda isn't. Do u even know what if feels like, HE'S DOING THAT TO MY MUM. My mum is my mum and my dad is my dad i love them equally. Would you like your dad to be doing that to your mum? And what if you had a chance of actually knowing if he was doing that to your mum, would you see if he was or just leave it and never know and feel guilty when your mum's accusing him of these things?


I'm not saying it doesn't suck, I'm sure it does. But I doubt you know all the intimate details of your parents relationship.

You asked who was in the wrong, and the only person that is clearly at fault is you. As for your dad, it's hard to tell.
Reply 17
You’re both wrong in different contexts, he’s wrong on a more serious note. You’re still wrong but on a much less serious note.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Ello32
First thing first, that doesn't really make sense, because i was going thru his stuff for my mums sake. If he was to go thru my stuff and i was being sneaky (second thing, i wouldn't make it so clear that im being sneaky) i don't think it would bother me unless i really had something to hide.


I think what you did was really good because now your dad knows you won't let him get away with cheating, if he was to try, but just try and not confront him unless the evidence is more solid.
Him

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