The Student Room Group

My mum's disappointment in my grades.

Scroll to see replies

Allow me to say, Congratulations on your hard work and well deserved grades. I know how tough it is not having your parents support. Even though other say 'it's because they want the best for you' that is imo ********. Any parents who wants the best for their kid would at least support them and not ask about their fellow classmates results before theirs. Im sorry but these type of parents who push their kids above their limit are the worst. Yes grades are important, but its not like you've got 10 D's! You have grades that are no lower than an A and an A*!!! And that is amazing, please know that!
First of all, well done to you. You got grades that some people would give an arm and a leg to achieve. Regardless of how many A*'s A's B's or C's you got, you should be proud of your results. You clearly worked hard to get your grades, and this has been reflected in your results. I was in the same situation, and I sat down with my parents, and talked through the results with them in detail. At the end of the day, you tried your best, your best got rewarded, and deep down your parents will be proud of you.
I'm sure you were already aware of your mothers behaviour before you did GCSE because I'm sure she'd be overly critical in other ways too. I'd just ignore her and be content in the knowledge that your grades are probably in the top 10% of the country and that you'll have no trouble applying to universities if you so wish. Her opinion is of no relevance here.
You are a top student, you got excellent grades nothing to worry about unlike me who got Bs and Cs
Original post by The RAR
You are a top student, you got excellent grades nothing to worry about unlike me who got Bs and Cs


No, don't worry yourself. I got all Cs and Bs, and I was told that they are literally all you really need to move onto the next step, whether that be sixth form, college or an apprenticeship. Of course, even at uni and beyond the C/B in maths and English shows employers that you have adequate competence in literacy and numeracy, but GCSEs most certainly aren't the be all and end all, unless of course you wish to study Medicine.
That's funny when you say that because no matter what I do or achieve; it's not enough. I'm a failure in her eyes and she even calls me the most dumb out of my friends and that I've lowered her status in our community. There's no point of me trying to appease her.
Original post by prostheticzeta
deep down your parents want the best for you. I'm sure your mum loves you so much, no matter how strict she may seem to be. of course support from your own mother is necessary, and maybe you should tell her that? what if her parenting strategy is to make you scared of her, so you study harder? tell her that it isn't working and you want a motherly support rather than a robotic relationship.. cause it may affect you in such a negative way in the future
I just feel so dumb. I'm not enough.
let me guess your mom is asian
But thank you everyone for your support; you've made me feel more happy about my academia than my mum has ever made me feel
You know it. I want to leave the household as soon as I can.
[QUOTE="Anonymous;73418856"]So today I opened up my GCSEs' results and I got all A's and A*s and absolutely no B's. I was pleased with my result (read: over the moon) but I knew immediately that my mum was going to be upset because I didn't get a 9 or that many A*s. I couldn't really enjoy myself and appreciate the grades I had received even though my friends were all telling me how well I'd done.

I get home and the first thing she asks about are not even my grades but all of my friends' and then she compares my grades to theirs and I feel so horrible because theirs is marginally better than mine (which she uses to make me feel terrible). I don't even get a congratulations or ' I know how hard you've worked', she just delves straight into the fact that I'm wearing a little makeup (eyeliner and eyebrows) and how I'm trying to grow up too fast.

I knew she was going to react negatively/apathetically to my grades but it hurts so bad that it turned out exactly how I expected it to do so. I've done so much work and I'm so tired. All of my friends' families has been so supportive and loving to their child's grades and I just feel like I'm never going to be enough for her.

I don't know how to deal with it in all fairness, since all I've ever wanted was her approval and love, and sometimes I wish that something else existed instead of me that could make my mom happy like I never could.[/
Original post by Anonymous
So today I opened up my GCSEs' results and I got all A's and A*s and absolutely no B's. I was pleased with my result (read: over the moon) but I knew immediately that my mum was going to be upset because I didn't get a 9 or that many A*s. I couldn't really enjoy myself and appreciate the grades I had received even though my friends were all telling me how well I'd done.

I get home and the first thing she asks about are not even my grades but all of my friends' and then she compares my grades to theirs and I feel so horrible because theirs is marginally better than mine (which she uses to make me feel terrible). I don't even get a congratulations or ' I know how hard you've worked', she just delves straight into the fact that I'm wearing a little makeup (eyeliner and eyebrows) and how I'm trying to grow up too fast.

I knew she was going to react negatively/apathetically to my grades but it hurts so bad that it turned out exactly how I expected it to do so. I've done so much work and I'm so tired. All of my friends' families has been so supportive and loving to their child's grades and I just feel like I'm never going to be enough for her.

I don't know how to deal with it in all fairness, since all I've ever wanted was her approval and love, and sometimes I wish that something else existed instead of me that could make my mom happy like I never could.


I relate with you on levels. Nothing much you can really do cos it's who they are- try talk to your mum and let her know how you feel
Do you know! That is exactly what my mother does. Absolutely EXACT! I am so happy you know what it feel like.
I know this was a few years ago now but what a poor example of a mother and unconditional love! I hope you have grown to appreciate yourself and detach that need from those who can never deliver it. It's one thing wanting your kids to do well, it's another to bring them down, invalidate their efforts and cause deliberate hurt! You are worth more than that and are appreciated elsewhere.... Sometimes the love we crave off a person will never happen and that is no reflection on you sadly x

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you