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Please could you help me interpret this? I have Aspergers so struggle to do so!

Someone I knew from sixth form was giving me some advice a few days ago when I was feeling a bit under pressure/finding it hard to spot true friends.

One of the points that I mentioned was that I found it hard to spot who my true friends are (as I have Aspergers) What he said was: 'As for picking friends, you'll learn the signs but don't shut anyone out, you will learn how to spot who is good for you :smile:

'

I just wanted to ask - what did he mean by 'don't shut anyone out'

Also, why did he put the smiley face? Was he trying to suggest that *he* is my friend?

Friendships are so confusing to me!!

Reply 1

Sundance360

Original post by Irini36

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I just wanted to ask - what did he mean by 'don't shut anyone out'

Also, why did he put the smiley face? Was he trying to suggest that *he* is my friend?

Friendships are so confusing to me!!

I'd take it to mean just what it says. Give everyone a chance at being your friend, and try not to turn down offers of company etc. too readily.

Reply 2

naka

Don't shut anyone out means don't isolate yourself from people just because they don't make it completely obvious that they're friendly. Don't decide not to open up to people straight away, give people a good chance to become friendly, and don't judge too quickly.The smiley face is usually used to show that he's giving this advice in a friendly manner. If he was saying it out loud he'd be using a friendly, happy tone of voice.

Reply 3

DrSebWilkes

As someone who might be aspergers I sympathise.
Basically the emojis are in themselves "words" that people add on; adds another dimension to language if you will. The issue is that the context of which is pretty confusing and I don't actually understand half of them, so I don't use them and I make sure my friends don't either. That said there are some common ones that crop up that are worth "understanding", regardless of if you agree or not.

Smiley face is the helpful or happy emoticon. Big grin / laughing is funny or cool. The crying eyes but laughing (hate that one!!) is funny as well. Sad face is ... well yeah.

Emoticons rarely mean anything, especially given their ease of use. Girls are, in my experience, particular bad in this field for overusing emoticons which strips them of any emotional value.

Anyway as for making friends, it's a case of trying to find people with similar interests or hope they find you interesting. At that stage it's a case of talking to them further but this is the hard bit: it's knowing not to do too much, nor too little. ( I can't quantify it, sorry)

And "shutting out" I suppose means don't ignore people if they are uninteresting? Idk but this is where I might disagree, but then again I'm happy with my few friends that I have and equally happy ignoring the riff raff that is the rest of the year.

Reply 4

Tomm98

I have Aspergers too.

Reply 5

DrSocSciences

Original post by Irini36

Someone I knew from sixth form was giving me some advice a few days ago when I was feeling a bit under pressure/finding it hard to spot true friends.

Friendships are so confusing to me!!

I don't have Aspergers, but find that message confusing. On balance, I reckon they're just being friendly, but the "spotting who is good for you" is a mixed message, as without context, it could sound menacing. That's the trouble with emails or text: there's zero tone of voice so it's easy to misread the intention of the sender.