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    So in my culture arranged marriage is very very common and that's what is expected of me. I'm 18 and I'm sure that in 4 or 5 years my parents will start looking. I'm just wondering if arrange marriages are even successful in this generation. Also if any Tamil people could give any input that would be greatly appreciated but if not anyone can give any input I don't mind
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    Only marry someone YOU want to.
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    I know so many people who have had arranged marriages - I'm not Tamil, I'm Punjabi - and they always tell me that they are so happy and wouldn't have had it any other way.

    Myself on the other hand, would prefer a love marriage but if I don't manage to find anyone I might consider an arranged marriage, lol.
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    (Original post by AperfectBalance)
    Only marry someone YOU want to.
    YES

    **** arranged marriage honestly but if that's what you want then it's whatevs, not my life ha
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So in my culture arranged marriage is very very common and that's what is expected of me. I'm 18 and I'm sure that in 4 or 5 years my parents will start looking. I'm just wondering if arrange marriages are even successful in this generation. Also if any Tamil people could give any input that would be greatly appreciated but if not anyone can give any input I don't mind
    My of my friends (her family originates from Pakistan) had an arranged marriage, and they've been married for about 2 years now. She's seems really happy, although we can't always tell what any marriage is like from the outside. From what she has told me, an arranged marriage was always on the cards for her, so she had years to get used to the idea.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So in my culture arranged marriage is very very common and that's what is expected of me. I'm 18 and I'm sure that in 4 or 5 years my parents will start looking. I'm just wondering if arrange marriages are even successful in this generation. Also if any Tamil people could give any input that would be greatly appreciated but if not anyone can give any input I don't mind
    I know tamil parents can be frustrating 😒And I know you're probably scared to talk back to them because they're really strict. But this is your life you should decide who to marry or not. Pretty sure arranged marriage doesn't work in this generation coz you can't just marry someone you don't know. Marry who YOU like. You have plenty of time left talk about this to your parents later on. Remember you're 18 you're an adult they can't control you anymore.
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    A lot of people fall in love after they get married in arranged marriages.
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    I'm Tamil and honestly I don't understand why everyone thinks arranged marriages are that bad?? There's a HUGE difference between arranged and forced.The reason why arranged marriages work so well for particular races, like Tamil, is because it's essentially just a screening process to find the right partner for you AND your family. Afterall, a marriage is also about two families becoming one. Your family would be trying to find another good family for you to marry into, they wouldn't want to get married to a toxic family! Also they'd try to find someone with an extended family that would blend well with your's. No one's going to find a randomer and tell you to marry them. You're probably going to be presented a number of different choices and you'd get to talk to them and meet them to see if you'd both be compatible (almost like blind dates, unless ofc you've seen the person's pic before). Now this can either be a very quick process or a relatively long one, you are going to be settling down for life with this person afterall - it requires a lot of thinking and consent!Arranged marriages isn't a bad thing and I wish people stopped looking at it in a negative way. If you don't like the person your parents have chosen, it's perfectly fine for you to say no! ARRANGED is not the same as FORCED. Two very different concepts.
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    I heard in some Tamil communities they get girls married to their uncles from their mother's side :lolwut:
    :puke:
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    An arranged marriage isnt always forced peeps. Certainly not in mainstream India anyway.
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    some are successful, some aren't. do what is right for you. a lot of people end up settling for arranged when they can't find someone the normal way.
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    (Original post by angelknives)
    I'm Tamil and honestly I don't understand why everyone thinks arranged marriages are that bad?? There's a HUGE difference between arranged and forced.The reason why arranged marriages work so well for particular races, like Tamil, is because it's essentially just a screening process to find the right partner for you AND your family. Afterall, a marriage is also about two families becoming one. Your family would be trying to find another good family for you to marry into, they wouldn't want to get married to a toxic family! Also they'd try to find someone with an extended family that would blend well with your's. No one's going to find a randomer and tell you to marry them. You're probably going to be presented a number of different choices and you'd get to talk to them and meet them to see if you'd both be compatible (almost like blind dates, unless ofc you've seen the person's pic before). Now this can either be a very quick process or a relatively long one, you are going to be settling down for life with this person afterall - it requires a lot of thinking and consent!Arranged marriages isn't a bad thing and I wish people stopped looking at it in a negative way. If you don't like the person your parents have chosen, it's perfectly fine for you to say no! ARRANGED is not the same as FORCED. Two very different concepts.
    i totally agree with you
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    hey i'm tamil, i personally wouldn't want one because i am kinda against them....tbh idc if someone else gets one but i personally wouldn't like it...but they do seem to work and i'm not exactly sure why. This girl i know got an arranged marriage even though she was initially against it and while i don't know for sure if it's going well... her and her guy do seem perfect for each other
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    Hey I'm a Tamil and and I fell in love with my partner and then got married after 2 years and it's been 14 years since we got married. And we had our first baby this year as we both were busy studying and getting work experience. We both never listened to our parents on this but you may not have that luxury anyway.

    Here's what my experience is. Arranged marriage most of the time focuses on casts financial statuses and look as well. But the love does not focus on all of these love marriages is not based on logical thinking.

    In arranged or love marriage if both get Long well give space to each other then the love will grow and it will be a happy family. I know love marriages that failed and I also know a lot of arranged marriages that failed. But in my personal view love marriages are better than arranged for many reasons. First and foremost is you get chance to be with and get to know the person before you marry so after marriage it's easy to build on that and be a happy family.

    One last point I know it's strange if you get married every single decision you make in your life should only involve both of you. If his or her friends and families change or influence and if the other person does not like it then cracks will start to open. Marriage might stay but it's for the sake and public as our culture is to show the public as they are in good relationship but in reality a rotten marriage.
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    Being Tamil I understand ya XD but I know for certain our generation can handle stuff themselves (unless you're them tamils who are shy, awkward af and antisocial) but i guess if you don't have any luck, have arranged as a backup XD
 
 
 
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