My Situation and problem with my close friend

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#1
Hello,

I'm a 22 year old guy that recently graduated this year. I only ever had one true guy friend that has been with me since high school. We promised each other that we would rent a house together down south and enjoy our lives from there (and get a job etc). This has all been sorted through papers and signed off and all I needed to do was pack my stuff and move in. However, this does mean i'm moving away from my family as i live up north and my mom wanted me to get my driving license before I do leave. Since this was her wish long time ago before i started university and I wanted to fulfil it. Doing so will delay and possibly in my friends view, break the promise we had. We decided to move in on 1st September but i won't be able to get my license until a month or two after that since I have to pass both my theory and practical test beforehand.

Long story short, I broke my friends trust today since I want to fulfil my family's wish. The reason i feel very bad is because he has been hurt from past friendships and recently one in college. My friend is obviously upset and let me quote his last message as 'thanks for proving to me that my whole purpose in life is to be stood on by people'

I didn't reply as I didn't want to hurt him anymore. Can someone give me some words of advice in what to do next or in the future?

Thanks in advance if there are any replies.
0
reply
stormeranna
Badges: 6
Rep:
?
#2
Report 3 years ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hello,

I'm a 22 year old guy that recently graduated this year. I only ever had one true guy friend that has been with me since high school. We promised each other that we would rent a house together down south and enjoy our lives from there (and get a job etc). This has all been sorted through papers and signed off and all I needed to do was pack my stuff and move in. However, this does mean i'm moving away from my family as i live up north and my mom wanted me to get my driving license before I do leave. Since this was her wish long time ago before i started university and I wanted to fulfil it. Doing so will delay and possibly in my friends view, break the promise we had. We decided to move in on 1st September but i won't be able to get my license until a month or two after that since I have to pass both my theory and practical test beforehand.

Long story short, I broke my friends trust today since I want to fulfil my family's wish. The reason i feel very bad is because he has been hurt from past friendships and recently one in college. My friend is obviously upset and let me quote his last message as 'thanks for proving to me that my whole purpose in life is to be stood on by people'

I didn't reply as I didn't want to hurt him anymore. Can someone give me some words of advice in what to do next or in the future?

Thanks in advance if there are any replies.
Is it not possible to take your test after you've moved? Why do you have to pass at home? Surely it's just as good to pass just after you've moved out, you could explain to your family the paperwork is already sorted, a couple of months is quite a significant delay and I see why your friend might be upset. Hope this is helpful in some way.
0
reply
maisie22
Badges: 7
Rep:
?
#3
Report 3 years ago
#3
Take your test down south and show him how much he means to you
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#4
(Original post by stormeranna)
Is it not possible to take your test after you've moved? Why do you have to pass at home? Surely it's just as good to pass just after you've moved out, you could explain to your family the paperwork is already sorted, a couple of months is quite a significant delay and I see why your friend might be upset. Hope this is helpful in some way.
That is because i have already taken about 15 driving lessons with the current driving instructor and it would be a waste of money and time to start again down there.
0
reply
Personinsertname
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#5
Report 3 years ago
#5
Before that Yaoi fanfiction ensues,
Do you even value your friendship in the first place, or does family matter more?
Personally with the level of financial involvement on the part of your friend i see it as a fault on you for not moving down south and looking for a job there and supporting him. Rather than just getting a car license.
0
reply
Arianax
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#6
Report 3 years ago
#6
Focus on your license.

Pay any rent you owe or whatever, for the month you are missing. You've already taken 15 lessons. Have you booked your test?
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#7
(Original post by Ishax)
Focus on your license.

Pay any rent you owe or whatever, for the month you are missing. You've already taken 15 lessons. Have you booked your test?
Yes I have booked my theory test to do in two weeks time but that's not the issue. I've let my friend down and I don't think he will forgive me any time soon if ever.
0
reply
Arianax
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#8
Report 3 years ago
#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes I have booked my theory test to do in two weeks time but that's not the issue. I've let my friend down and I don't think he will forgive me any time soon if ever.
Has your instructor said you're ready for the practical test anytime soon? If not, just move because you don't know how long it'll take for you to be "ready".
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#9
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#9
(Original post by Ishax)
Has your instructor said you're ready for the practical test anytime soon? If not, just move because you don't know how long it'll take for you to be "ready".
Yes he said it's going to be easy to get my license if I get my theory done soon and that's if I pass.
0
reply
markova21
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#10
Report 3 years ago
#10
TBH, i'd put your friend first. If you are almost ready to pass your test, then taking lessons with another instructor and passing it down there will be a piece of cake. Just because you've done the vast majority of lessons with this one instructor doesn't mean you owe him anything. Please be a good friend. He's more important than passing your driving test, trust me.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#11
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#11
(Original post by markova21)
TBH, i'd put your friend first. If you are almost ready to pass your test, then taking lessons with another instructor and passing it down there will be a piece of cake. Just because you've done the vast majority of lessons with this one instructor doesn't mean you owe him anything. Please be a good friend. He's more important than passing your driving test, trust me.
If it was as simple as that, I would have moved down without hesitating. The problem is that if i did that, It could risk me cutting ties with my family and have to financially pay for the extra lessons and test as my parents are currently paying for them.
0
reply
markova21
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#12
Report 3 years ago
#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
If it was as simple as that, I would have moved down without hesitating. The problem is that if i did that, It could risk me cutting ties with my family and have to financially pay for the extra lessons and test as my parents are currently paying for them.
Why on earth would you have to cut ties with your family over something as trivial as learning to drive? I don't understand.
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#13
Report 3 years ago
#13
Um reply to his last message for a start! Saying you don't want to hurt their feelings is just people's way of not having to deal with the situation. If you care about him talk to him about it?
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#14
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#14
(Original post by markova21)
Why on earth would you have to cut ties with your family over something as trivial as learning to drive? I don't understand.
It might sound trivial to many people but it's like a tradition in my family that everyone should learn to drive. It's a high importance for them as it is required in many jobs if not helpful and in a family setup. My parents are getting on with age and it's their wish that soon I am able to drive them about the country, an example would be my relatives all live different parts in the country and my family aren't the best financially to buy and travel through train all the time.

I said this in my original post but you might have missed it, my mom has urged me to get my license over several years before university but i was too immature to understand its importance back then.

(Original post by Anonymous)
Um reply to his last message for a start! Saying you don't want to hurt their feelings is just people's way of not having to deal with the situation. If you care about him talk to him about it?
What can I say if he said before that to stop messaging him please because it seems like i'm annoying him and he doesn't want to talk to me
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Current uni students - are you thinking of dropping out of university?

Yes, I'm seriously considering dropping out (51)
16.61%
I'm not sure (8)
2.61%
No, I'm going to stick it out for now (106)
34.53%
I have already dropped out (4)
1.3%
I'm not a current university student (138)
44.95%

Watched Threads

View All