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BF trouble

my current bf and i have been together for about six months, I dont know what to do because I dont really have a life compared to him. He goes out to places about four times a week, does things and has friends around differrent cities, whereas yeah I have friends but they live a while away from me and I dont have money to go see them and stuff. So I dont know how I can stay busy and not get jealous of him basically. Has anyone been in a situation like this? I don't really want to talk to him about it because I feel clingy.

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Original post by shazy2014
my current bf and i have been together for about six months, I dont know what to do because I dont really have a life compared to him. He goes out to places about four times a week, does things and has friends around differrent cities, whereas yeah I have friends but they live a while away from me and I dont have money to go see them and stuff. So I dont know how I can stay busy and not get jealous of him basically. Has anyone been in a situation like this? I don't really want to talk to him about it because I feel clingy.


Completely isolate your boyfriend from the picture, are you okay with your life,
your job or what you're studying. I think most of your problems are just dissatisfaction with yourself and not your boyfriend.
If you feel jealous at least that means your feeling something and want to do more or be better ( in relative terms).

When people think about others it tend to be themselves that they are actually talking about.

By random dude on TSR.
Reply 2
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Original post by Personinsertname
Completely isolate your boyfriend from the picture, are you okay with your life,
your job or what you're studying. I think most of your problems are just dissatisfaction with yourself and not your boyfriend.
If you feel jealous at least that means your feeling something and want to do more or be better ( in relative terms).

When people think about others it tend to be themselves that they are actually talking about.

By random dude on TSR.


No I don't really think that I am,
I'm unhappy with my family as in money issues. standard of living etc, but I can't change that until after I graduate and have a better paid job.
I like my uni course that's alright.
I just don't really know how to make a better social life for myself, I wish I had things to do or people to see.
Original post by shazy2014
No I don't really think that I am,
I'm unhappy with my family as in money issues. standard of living etc, but I can't change that until after I graduate and have a better paid job.
I like my uni course that's alright.
I just don't really know how to make a better social life for myself, I wish I had things to do or people to see.


There is no need whatsoever to have a social life besides keeping your sanity if you're so inclined.

Just be content with simply living.
Since your locked into studying at least try to excel in that area and put real effort into it.
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Original post by Personinsertname
There is no need whatsoever to have a social life besides keeping your sanity if you're so inclined.

Just be content with simply living.
Since your locked into studying at least try to excel in that area and put real effort into it.


But how much studying can I do?
I find the normal amount difficult as I have difficulty concentrating and get headaches.
I won't be able to make myself study while he's out and about staying in diffeerent places
Just remember he has chosen you to be his girlfriend
Original post by shazy2014
But how much studying can I do?
I find the normal amount difficult as I have difficulty concentrating and get headaches.
I won't be able to make myself study while he's out and about staying in diffeerent places


There are always hobbies that revolve around being alone and merely thinking.
I love anime. Perhaps im lucky enough to have a hobby.
Anyhow boredom is fine from time to time, in-fact its a unique experience that some can truly experience in the age of the internet.
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Original post by Rock Fan
Just remember he has chosen you to be his girlfriend


But what does that mean?
Reply 8
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Original post by Personinsertname
There are always hobbies that revolve around being alone and merely thinking.
I love anime. Perhaps im lucky enough to have a hobby.
Anyhow boredom is fine from time to time, in-fact its a unique experience that some can truly experience in the age of the internet.


I don't want to be a loser and do hobbies on my own
Reply 9
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My friend have dealt with the situation. What I am going to say now is what i told her.

Just Do you.

No matter what happens at the end of the day you will always be there for yourself. You need to put yourself first sometimes even if its going to affect yours and your boyfriend relationship. Thats life. You gotta sacrifice things sometimes so that you could move on with your life more successfully (making more time to study).
Original post by shazy2014
But what does that mean?


That person is saying be glad that you even have a boyfriend.


Though i think you're entitled to your own happiness and success as an individual and not just to be tied to another individual. Its rather dehumanising to be seen as a couple rather than an individual.
You must tread this path lightly and go in both directions.
Self improvement and coming clean to your boyfriend are actions that should be taken in order to maintain the health of both you as a person and the relationship forged.
Reply 11
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Original post by masamin
My friend have dealt with the situation. What I am going to say now is what i told her.

Just Do you.

No matter what happens at the end of the day you will always be there for yourself. You need to put yourself first sometimes even if its going to affect yours and your boyfriend relationship. Thats life. You gotta sacrifice things sometimes so that you could move on with your life more successfully (making more time to study).


Noooo you don't understand. I have loads of time. What I'm saying is I want to be busy like him and enjoy life and stuff, but I can't because I don't know many people. I wish also that he understood this, I don't think he understands that he just goes out and abandons me
Reply 12
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Original post by Rock Fan
Just remember he has chosen you to be his girlfriend


The word '' Boyfriend'' means nothing if hes not there to support you so that you would have a successful future. Maybe help you out with your studying. Real boyfriend would sacrifice his' 'time with his boys' for you and instead of going out there travelling to meet his friends, instead he would be meeting you up or even facetiming to make sure that you are putting your 100% effort into your future because thats what matters the most.
Reply 13
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Original post by Personinsertname
That person is saying be glad that you even have a boyfriend.


Though i think you're entitled to your own happiness and success as an individual and not just to be tied to another individual. Its rather dehumanising to be seen as a couple rather than an individual.
You must tread this path lightly and go in both directions.
Self improvement and coming clean to your boyfriend are actions that should be taken in order to maintain the health of both you as a person and the relationship forged.


Yeah that's true, but in all honesty I can't see myself as an individual because basically I have no live. I wish I could, because then i wouldnt mind him doing stuff so much.
Reply 14
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Original post by masamin
The word '' Boyfriend'' means nothing if hes not there to support you so that you would have a successful future. Maybe help you out with your studying. Real boyfriend would sacrifice his' 'time with his boys' for you and instead of going out there travelling to meet his friends, instead he would be meeting you up or even facetiming to make sure that you are putting your 100% effort into your future because thats what matters the most.


I know, we used to talk so much and everything. I mean we still talk and he checks up on me. But he prefers to be doing his own thing.
Reply 15
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Original post by shazy2014
Noooo you don't understand. I have loads of time. What I'm saying is I want to be busy like him and enjoy life and stuff, but I can't because I don't know many people. I wish also that he understood this, I don't think he understands that he just goes out and abandons me


What I used to do is just ask him if I could join with him to meet his friends. Well he used to ask me. Ask him if he has any friends that has girl friends that you could meet.
Reply 16
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Original post by masamin
What I used to do is just ask him if I could join with him to meet his friends. Well he used to ask me. Ask him if he has any friends that has girl friends that you could meet.


Yeah I am going to meet them in a couple of weeks, but I know hed just rather go on his own, and go far away esp at night and stuff and stay over, but i cant do that with him
Original post by shazy2014
my current bf and i have been together for about six months, I dont know what to do because I dont really have a life compared to him. He goes out to places about four times a week, does things and has friends around differrent cities, whereas yeah I have friends but they live a while away from me and I dont have money to go see them and stuff. So I dont know how I can stay busy and not get jealous of him basically. Has anyone been in a situation like this? I don't really want to talk to him about it because I feel clingy.


You're at uni right? Go and join a couple of societies when term starts up again. You'll gain some new friendship groups, and if time and money are a problem just go to societies that don't take too much commitment or are expensive.

I have the opposite problem, being in the same house and social circles as my boyfriend (soon to be ex)... so yeah, believe me, being around your SO all the time can be a disaster.
Reply 18
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Original post by AnnieGakusei
You're at uni right? Go and join a couple of societies when term starts up again. You'll gain some new friendship groups, and if time and money are a problem just go to societies that don't take too much commitment or are expensive.

I have the opposite problem, being in the same house and social circles as my boyfriend (soon to be ex)... so yeah, believe me, being around your SO all the time can be a disaster.


Yeeah i joined some last year, but I found that people stick together and there snobbish about expanding there circle. Thats why i cant go out with my uni friends much cause i have to travel to there and its expensive

No I dont want to be around him all the time, i just wish he did less things with his mates, because it makes me feel bad
Original post by shazy2014
But what does that mean?


That means he loves and appreciates you irrespective of what you consider to a weakness.

Have you considered asking him, to whether you can join him on his outings; you are his girlfriend after all.
(edited 6 years ago)

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