Inappropriate staff/ youth relationship. Should I tell

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Anonymus1634
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#1
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#1
I am part of a large and respectable youth organisation. I have recently found out about a 16/17 year old who is in a relationship with a staff member 22y/o. My partner, is best mates with this staff member, and told me about the relationship. This organisation has a big no no for staff and youth relationships, and makes staff sign a document regarding this and child protection on a regular basis, the fact that the youth is under 18 makes it worse. Could this be considered as grooming? My question is really, should I tell some other members of staff, from which I know this will escalate? On a level I have respect and trust for my partner, but on another this is very innapropriate and I do not feel that not telling anyone is the right thing to do.
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Devify
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#2
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#2
(Original post by Anonymus1634)
I am part of a large and respectable youth organisation. I have recently found out about a 16/17 year old who is in a relationship with a staff member 22y/o. My partner, is best mates with this staff member, and told me about the relationship. This organisation has a big no no for staff and youth relationships, and makes staff sign a document regarding this and child protection on a regular basis, the fact that the youth is under 18 makes it worse. Could this be considered as grooming? My question is really, should I tell some other members of staff, from which I know this will escalate? On a level I have respect and trust for my partner, but on another this is very innapropriate and I do not feel that not telling anyone is the right thing to do.
It is technically inappropriate and shouldn't be done since the employment contract is against it. Was it outside the organisation, it would be legally perfectly fine.

So, to play the devil's advocate, really, I think you should consider another few things like, how long the youth is actually going to stay in contact with the organisation. If it's just a month or two then it will be totally fine in a short bit.

Do you know them both and know what the actual plans are? Maybe they actually do have feelings for each other but are waiting to have a full relationship once it's actually acceptable.

Obviously, it could also be grooming.

So maybe discuss it with your partner and find out more information before you make a guy lose his job and possibly get a criminal record on a technicality. Maybe it's not even a relationship at the moment but only a close friendship. But you also don't want to just ignore it if it is a negative relationship.
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ANM775
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#3
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(Original post by Anonymus1634)
I am part of a large and respectable youth organisation. I have recently found out about a 16/17 year old who is in a relationship with a staff member 22y/o. My partner, is best mates with this staff member, and told me about the relationship. This organisation has a big no no for staff and youth relationships, and makes staff sign a document regarding this and child protection on a regular basis, the fact that the youth is under 18 makes it worse. Could this be considered as grooming? My question is really, should I tell some other members of staff, from which I know this will escalate? On a level I have respect and trust for my partner, but on another this is very innapropriate and I do not feel that not telling anyone is the right thing to do.


you will jeopardize your partners relationship with his friend if you tell,

tbh it hasn't been all that long since relationships of this nature were criminalized

the girl is 16/17? ..so probably 17 or you would have said just 16 to make it seem worst to readers.

she's above the age of consent so just leave it imo
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Devify
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#4
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#4
(Original post by ANM775)
you will jeopardize your partners relationship with his friend if you tell,

tbh it hasn't been all that long since relationships of this nature were criminalized

the girl is 16/17? ..so probably 17 or you would have said just 16 to make it seem worst to readers.

she's above the age of consent so just leave it imo
If the relationship is with someone who is in a position of power over them, so things like teachers or people running different activities when they are technically in charge, the age of consent is 18.
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Tootles
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#5
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#5
(Original post by Anonymus1634)
I am part of a large and respectable youth organisation. I have recently found out about a 16/17 year old who is in a relationship with a staff member 22y/o. My partner, is best mates with this staff member, and told me about the relationship. This organisation has a big no no for staff and youth relationships, and makes staff sign a document regarding this and child protection on a regular basis, the fact that the youth is under 18 makes it worse. Could this be considered as grooming? My question is really, should I tell some other members of staff, from which I know this will escalate? On a level I have respect and trust for my partner, but on another this is very innapropriate and I do not feel that not telling anyone is the right thing to do.
It isn't grooming. It's simply against policy.
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chelseacarknif3r
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#6
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#6
(Original post by Anonymus1634)
I am part of a large and respectable youth organisation. I have recently found out about a 16/17 year old who is in a relationship with a staff member 22y/o. My partner, is best mates with this staff member, and told me about the relationship. This organisation has a big no no for staff and youth relationships, and makes staff sign a document regarding this and child protection on a regular basis, the fact that the youth is under 18 makes it worse. Could this be considered as grooming? My question is really, should I tell some other members of staff, from which I know this will escalate? On a level I have respect and trust for my partner, but on another this is very innapropriate and I do not feel that not telling anyone is the right thing to do.
Definitely consider talking to someone about this. Take it to someone senior if you don't know what to do, because they should know. Of course don't go around gossiping about it, just tell the right person. If the older person is in a position of trust and authority, it really can't be happening.
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ParentalAdvisory
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#7
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#7
Sounds like they're abusing a Position of Trust (assuming there is sexual activity going on) which is a criminal offence.

From wikipedia

"In the United Kingdom, the Sexual Offences Act 2000 prohibits a person in a position of trust from having sexual acts with someone who cannot consent, which includes minors and "very vulnerable people".This is primarily used for the protection of young people who are above the age of consent but under the age of 18, or those with mental disabilities."
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ANM775
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#8
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#8
(Original post by Devify)
If the relationship is with someone who is in a position of power over them, so things like teachers or people running different activities when they are technically in charge, the age of consent is 18.



it didn't used to be though,

i'm not sure I agree with the increase tbh

imo it should be one age of consent for all, not something that chops and changes....
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nexttime
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#9
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#9
(Original post by Devify)
It is technically inappropriate...
(Original post by Tootles)
It isn't grooming. It's simply against policy.
The age of consent is 18 if the partner is in a position of authority, so this is sex with a minor. Its a criminal offence which can be given up to 5 years in prison.

I think you are also wrong to suggest that if the youth leaves the organisation it would be fine - the grooming still occurred whilst the adult was in a position of authority. Pretty sure a court would not just overlook that.
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username2393237
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#10
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#10
(Original post by Tootles)
It isn't grooming. It's simply against policy.
It doesn't exactly say a lot for the character of the person though. If they have such little self-control and regard for rules, then who knows what they're capable of. I certainly wouldn't want them to be working with children or potentially vulnerable people.
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Devify
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#11
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#11
(Original post by ANM775)
it didn't used to be though,

i'm not sure I agree with the increase tbh

imo it should be one age of consent for all, not something that chops and changes....
It can be abusing the position of trust they have. And has been a law since at least 2000
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Tootles
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#12
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#12
(Original post by nexttime)
The age of consent is 18 if the partner is in a position of authority, so this is sex with a minor. Its a criminal offence which can be given up to 5 years in prison.

I think you are also wrong to suggest that if the youth leaves the organisation it would be fine - the grooming still occurred whilst the adult was in a position of authority. Pretty sure a court would not just overlook that.
Show me the legislation to back this up.
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ANM775
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#13
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#13
(Original post by Devify)
It can be abusing the position of trust they have. And has been a law since at least 2000


i can still clearly remember all that fuss they made over the "millennium bug" and everything shutting down when the clock struck 12

2000 just doesn't seem that long ago to me.., but yeah when you put it like that, I guess it's not a super recent change or anything
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nexttime
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#14
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#14
(Original post by Tootles)
Show me the legislation to back this up.
Google broken for you then?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Position_of_trust
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Tiger Rag
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#15
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(Original post by Tootles)
Show me the legislation to back this up.
http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/p_to_r/r...ences/consent/ Look under the heading that says Sexual Offences Act 2003. It says "

  • children under 18 having sexual relations with persons in a position of trust

"
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Tootles
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#16
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#16
(Original post by nexttime)
Google broken for you then?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Position_of_trust
A Wikipedia page is not legislation.

(Original post by Tiger Rag)
http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/p_to_r/r...ences/consent/ Look under the heading that says Sexual Offences Act 2003. It says "

  • children under 18 having sexual relations with persons in a position of trust

"
That's what I was talking about.

It still doesn't define the under-eigheteen as being unable to consent though. It means the person who had sex with them broke a position of trust.
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Shut Up Benny
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#17
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#17
It's wrong. Plain and simple. U should tell. Technically this is a vulnerable child in the eyes of the law.
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Attempt2
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#18
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#18
(Original post by Anonymus1634)
I am part of a large and respectable youth organisation. I have recently found out about a 16/17 year old who is in a relationship with a staff member 22y/o. My partner, is best mates with this staff member, and told me about the relationship. This organisation has a big no no for staff and youth relationships, and makes staff sign a document regarding this and child protection on a regular basis, the fact that the youth is under 18 makes it worse. Could this be considered as grooming? My question is really, should I tell some other members of staff, from which I know this will escalate? On a level I have respect and trust for my partner, but on another this is very innapropriate and I do not feel that not telling anyone is the right thing to do.
Something a little like this happened on my NCS
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nulli tertius
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#19
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#19
(Original post by nexttime)
Google broken for you then?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Position_of_trust
(Original post by Tiger Rag)
http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/p_to_r/r...ences/consent/ Look under the heading that says Sexual Offences Act 2003. It says "

  • children under 18 having sexual relations with persons in a position of trust


"

(Original post by Tootles)
A Wikipedia page is not legislation.

That's what I was talking about.

It still doesn't define the under-eigheteen as being unable to consent though. It means the person who had sex with them broke a position of trust.


But look at the definition of position of trust in sections 21 and 22.

http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/...ition-of-trust


It doesn't catch the average scoutmaster, guide leader or sports coach. Indeed it is a rather bizarre collection. For example it is lawful for a 17 year old to be snogged in a club by his dentist's nurse provided he hasn't needed gas for his tooth extraction; and whether is is lawful for the 22 year old qualified hairdresser to have sex with the 16 year old apprentice depends on how the apprenticeship is funded.
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Lit teacher
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#20
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#20
From a purely selfish point of view, not saying anything leaves you completely exposed if/when the relationship is discovered. Questions will be asked about who knew. Either you will need to lie, and persuade your partner to do the same, or you will have to admit that you knew that someone was breaking child protection rules and forming a potentially illegal relationship, but you turned a blind eye and thereby let it continue.

I am also a member of a large and respected youth organisation. The rules are there for a reason, based on a history of things going wrong, and are put in place by people who know more about this area than you or I. As soon as you decide that some rules don't really apply it's the start of a slippery slope. If you report it, do you have any reason to think that things won't be investigated in a fair manner?
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