My best friend got a boyfriend and now hardly speaks to me?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
Hi everyone,

My best friend and I have a long distance friendship but we used to talk all the time. We would constantly text each other just for the sake of it without even needing to have something in particular to say. I would wake up every morning with a text from her, and she was always the last person I spoke to before I went to sleep. We constantly Facetimed too.

Recently she's started talking to this guy and she likes him, which is great. But now she seems so much more interested in talking to him than me. I'm always the one to text first, and she'll reply a few times and then disappear again. When we do speak, it's always about him. I don't wake up to texts from her anymore.

I did a little experiment the other day where I didn't text her to see if she would eventually message me or not, and she didn't until nearly 9pm (and that was only to talk about this guy yet again). I asked her today if she wanted to Facetime and she said she was already Facetiming him but that she'd call me later - she never did. The other day when we were talking (for once), I was in the middle of telling her about something important to me, and she interrupted me mid sentence to say she was sending me a screenshot of this "hilarious" text that the guy had sent her.

And then yesterday I text her asking if she was okay because she'd barely spoken to me for about two days. She said she was sorry she'd been quiet but she'd had a terrible headache and didn't feel well at all and generally wasn't up to texting, which obviously I understood. But later on in the day I was chatting to her mom (I'm super close to her parents) and asked how she was feeling, and her mom told me that she'd been in bed sick but was passing the time by texting the guy all day.

I've been going through some personal stuff lately that's been bringing me down and I know I've not been a perfect friend myself because of it, but this is really getting me down. She's not a bad person and she's the best friend I've ever had. We used to be inseparable but now I'm absolutely terrified that she's bored of me and isn't interested in being my friend anymore. And I'm not jealous that she's got a boyfriend, I fully support her, but I'm just sad that she seems to have forgotten all about me in her excitement about him.

Am I wrong to be upset about this? What should I do?
0
Anonymous #2
#2
Report 4 years ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi everyone,

My best friend and I have a long distance friendship but we used to talk all the time. We would constantly text each other just for the sake of it without even needing to have something in particular to say. I would wake up every morning with a text from her, and she was always the last person I spoke to before I went to sleep. We constantly Facetimed too.

Recently she's started talking to this guy and she likes him, which is great. But now she seems so much more interested in talking to him than me. I'm always the one to text first, and she'll reply a few times and then disappear again. When we do speak, it's always about him. I don't wake up to texts from her anymore.

I did a little experiment the other day where I didn't text her to see if she would eventually message me or not, and she didn't until nearly 9pm (and that was only to talk about this guy yet again). I asked her today if she wanted to Facetime and she said she was already Facetiming him but that she'd call me later - she never did. The other day when we were talking (for once), I was in the middle of telling her about something important to me, and she interrupted me mid sentence to say she was sending me a screenshot of this "hilarious" text that the guy had sent her.

And then yesterday I text her asking if she was okay because she'd barely spoken to me for about two days. She said she was sorry she'd been quiet but she'd had a terrible headache and didn't feel well at all and generally wasn't up to texting, which obviously I understood. But later on in the day I was chatting to her mom (I'm super close to her parents) and asked how she was feeling, and her mom told me that she'd been in bed sick but was passing the time by texting the guy all day.

I've been going through some personal stuff lately that's been bringing me down and I know I've not been a perfect friend myself because of it, but this is really getting me down. She's not a bad person and she's the best friend I've ever had. We used to be inseparable but now I'm absolutely terrified that she's bored of me and isn't interested in being my friend anymore. And I'm not jealous that she's got a boyfriend, I fully support her, but I'm just sad that she seems to have forgotten all about me in her excitement about him.

Am I wrong to be upset about this? What should I do?
I'd honestly say just talk to her about it because if she's a true friend she'd never willingly let you feel this way. Try to make sure she knows when you tell her that you don't have a problem with her boyfriend or the relationship, you just miss her. If she feels like you're accusing her of something, she might start to get defensive so maybe just say how you've been feeling about your friendship lately. Hope that helps
0
PhatHo
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#3
Report 4 years ago
#3
Leave her a$$. She too busy with da ashy boyfriend
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Anonymous #3
#4
Report 4 years ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi everyone,

My best friend and I have a long distance friendship but we used to talk all the time. We would constantly text each other just for the sake of it without even needing to have something in particular to say. I would wake up every morning with a text from her, and she was always the last person I spoke to before I went to sleep. We constantly Facetimed too.

Recently she's started talking to this guy and she likes him, which is great. But now she seems so much more interested in talking to him than me. I'm always the one to text first, and she'll reply a few times and then disappear again. When we do speak, it's always about him. I don't wake up to texts from her anymore.

I did a little experiment the other day where I didn't text her to see if she would eventually message me or not, and she didn't until nearly 9pm (and that was only to talk about this guy yet again). I asked her today if she wanted to Facetime and she said she was already Facetiming him but that she'd call me later - she never did. The other day when we were talking (for once), I was in the middle of telling her about something important to me, and she interrupted me mid sentence to say she was sending me a screenshot of this "hilarious" text that the guy had sent her.

And then yesterday I text her asking if she was okay because she'd barely spoken to me for about two days. She said she was sorry she'd been quiet but she'd had a terrible headache and didn't feel well at all and generally wasn't up to texting, which obviously I understood. But later on in the day I was chatting to her mom (I'm super close to her parents) and asked how she was feeling, and her mom told me that she'd been in bed sick but was passing the time by texting the guy all day.

I've been going through some personal stuff lately that's been bringing me down and I know I've not been a perfect friend myself because of it, but this is really getting me down. She's not a bad person and she's the best friend I've ever had. We used to be inseparable but now I'm absolutely terrified that she's bored of me and isn't interested in being my friend anymore. And I'm not jealous that she's got a boyfriend, I fully support her, but I'm just sad that she seems to have forgotten all about me in her excitement about him.

Am I wrong to be upset about this? What should I do?
My closest friend has been in a relationship for the last 8 months (literally just ended yesterday) and you do have to step back and give them space. It really hurts from time to time, but ultimately if you're a good friend you want the best for them, and if she needs time to build this relationship in its early stage then give it to her. She's not being deliberately mean, she's just so caught up in this excitement. It wears off eventually tho, she'll start talking to you again.
It's ok to be upset. Hell I got a bit jealous of all the cute dates my friend was going on, but I knew that it was making her happy and that if I asked she would try her best to make time for me, but that her SO had to come first.
And not to be cynical, but romantic relationships come and go. A deep friendship is forever, and she won't let you slip from her life easily.
Maybe ask her how it's going with him? At least that way communication is reopened? (I always asked my friend how it was going with her SO and it was a good conversation opener so she could get the excitement about it out of her system and then we could think of plans together and get back to our normal joking.)
Don't resent her for being excited about someone else. Just keep trying to reach out to her xx
(Also am on anon cos I don't want my friend to know I was hurt by the attention she gave her SO, or that I would ever be jealous.)
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ᒍack
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#5
Report 4 years ago
#5
Maybe try and get a girlfriend?
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ᒍack
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#6
Report 4 years ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
My closest friend has been in a relationship for the last 8 months (literally just ended yesterday) and you do have to step back and give them space. It really hurts from time to time, but ultimately if you're a good friend you want the best for them, and if she needs time to build this relationship in its early stage then give it to her. She's not being deliberately mean, she's just so caught up in this excitement. It wears off eventually tho, she'll start talking to you again.
It's ok to be upset. Hell I got a bit jealous of all the cute dates my friend was going on, but I knew that it was making her happy and that if I asked she would try her best to make time for me, but that her SO had to come first.
And not to be cynical, but romantic relationships come and go. A deep friendship is forever, and she won't let you slip from her life easily.
Maybe ask her how it's going with him? At least that way communication is reopened? (I always asked my friend how it was going with her SO and it was a good conversation opener so she could get the excitement about it out of her system and then we could think of plans together and get back to our normal joking.)
Don't resent her for being excited about someone else. Just keep trying to reach out to her xx
(Also am on anon cos I don't want my friend to know I was hurt by the attention she gave her SO, or that I would ever be jealous.)
Good post.
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username1454260
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#7
Report 4 years ago
#7
I think it's okay you feel upset. It kind of seems like your friend isn't making enough time for you. This could be because when you first get into a relationship it sometimes means you make weird decisions and think differently to how you did before. Your friend probably has so many new feelings and they're just projecting them onto one person and shutting everyone else out. I'd say wait a little while before you say anything to them, hopefully this will give them the time to realise what a good friend you are you honestly seem so caring and I'm sorry if you feel upset... it would upset me too! But if you said you were inseparable you seem like you're friends for life and maybe this whole thing is just short term. Best of luck with it x
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Ajay Nagdeote
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#8
Report 1 month ago
#8
I also experienced this situation i think u should not care about her as she is not respecting ur time value give her replyvlike a normal hi hello u 2 should not have interest in her and talk with many girls dont make a single girl priority u will get so many girls so dont worry and just dont care man thats it
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SupposedlyIronic
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#9
Report 1 month ago
#9
It's difficult when you're not used to balancing a relationship with friendships sometimes. I'd say give her a little slack but maybe bring up that you miss talking. I'd say either she hasn't noticed, or she knows she hasn't been messaging as much and just doesn't know how to give you both attention. She should learn how to balance it given a couple months I'd say.
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