The Student Room Group
Reply 1
Heres a few computing personal statements - you might find a couple of them useful as the sort of thing to do.
Reply 2
Thanks I read them. Could I send you part of my personal statement and perhaps get a few suggestions/help from you ? I have trouble getting my ideas into a presentable way on paper. If you don't mind I will just jot down the points I am having difficulty expressing properly:

- I am interested in the way things are marketed - eg. How cellphones are marketed, how certain features are included or excluded in phones, how they are priced to capture certain sections of markets etc. another eg. how certain technically inferior products can have better sales that superior sales than a technically superior product due to competative pricing, marketing etc. etc.

- i am intersted in the design of products which will do well in the market taking economical constraints etc. into account when designing things

the first section of my PS is about why I like it. Then i want this part. then i think that I will go into about my other hobbies and likes.

could you condense that bit into something I can use please ? I would really appreciate it.

Thanks in advance,
Ok here goes:

"The computer industry has intrigued me with the way it manages to market products. There may be a lot of hype based on obscure acronyms and buzzwords from Gigahertz to Bluetooth, from Centrino to Firewire, but what is remarkable is that despite the fact that the PC market is already saturated, people still want to upgrade to the latest and the greatest.

All the time there are engineers working in the background constantly stringing together Bits Bytes and silicon, quietly pushing the technology forward without having to worry about how the marketing department will promote the product.

It cannot be denied that to succeed in either the engineering or the promotional part of the industry a sound background knowledge is essential and that is what I intend to gain by studying this discipline at degree level."



What do you think?

I have not even prepared my own PS for Law yet and here I am trying to help someone to get into my current area of knowledge. Typical !

Warning! Thats what 10 years of working in IT does to you :wink:
Reply 4
Thanks alot for this. It's really good :smile: I was wondering whether I could use this in my personal statement or atleast some part of it? Also, what part should I include this in my personal statement ? It seems like an opening or an ending section. Am I right in thinking this is a good structure for my personal statement ?

Beginning: Why I like Computer Engineering (to show that I am dedicated to my subject, why I won't drop out)

Middle (my likes, achivements, hobbies etc. - things to do with apart from my subject I am studying)

End - Not very sure.

Anyone please help if you could - I have to get this done by Monday and I have not got much done.

Thanks in advance
Reply 5
Also, just to let you know, I am interested in computer engineering and not just marketing the products. It still sounds very good but it sounds a bit like I am more concered in marketing only - its still very good. But I am not sure where I should put it. And concluding lines/opening lines anyone ? Not the exact line but just an idea?

thanks
Reply 6
himurakenshin
Also, just to let you know, I am interested in computer engineering and not just marketing the products. It still sounds very good but it sounds a bit like I am more concered in marketing only - its still very good. But I am not sure where I should put it. And concluding lines/opening lines anyone ? Not the exact line but just an idea?

thanks

I have sent you a PM
himurakenshin
Also, just to let you know, I am interested in computer engineering and not just marketing the products. It still sounds very good but it sounds a bit like I am more concered in marketing only - its still very good. But I am not sure where I should put it. And concluding lines/opening lines anyone ? Not the exact line but just an idea?

thanks



Feel free to use it. You can use the last line as a conclusion if you want but add the rest somewhere in the middle to show that you also find the marketing part interesting.

Obviously you will need to elaborate a little on the engineering side of things.

It was just an idea. I only condensed and summarised your existing paragraphs. :smile:
Reply 8
First of all, I didn't use your part - it didn't go well after all. It sounds like a magazine paragraph. Anyways I would still like to thank all of yall for all your help.

I have sort of completed my PS, but I would like some people to read it and give their reviews constructive critism. Is their anybody willing to read my personal statement ? I will email it to you. Please, I would really appriciate it.

Thanks
Reply 9
Never read anyone's PS before but I'm willing to give it a go if you like... Am going into second year of a Computer Systems Engineering degree so at least I've got that going for me!
Jenn xx