I'm afraid to go to therapy or counselling for child sexual abuse Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
I'm afraid to get in contact with organisations that provide counselling to men who were sexually abused as children.

How can I trust their confidentiality if it's conditional? Secondly how can I be sure that they won't try pressure me to go through the judicial system? I've already asked the police to do a background check on the perpetrator, despite him not being a threat to any children at the moment. (I keep tabs on him.) I'm not willing to take it to court because I don't want my family to find out.

I believe the abuse was a big factor in what I believe was a depression I had for over half a year (but one I've luckily gotten myself out of.) I've irrationally felt a lot of shame (I understand it's not my fault), I've felt anger and vengeful, I've identified several facets of my behaviour that I believe stemmed from this (increased casual encounters, with no/little aesthetic standards for the people I met, binged smoke for a couple of months, but have now stopped smoking, quite a lot of temptation though. Distorted view of what constitutes healthy relationships for a while I've had somr trust issues.) I've really had to examine what was wrong and fix a lot of it myself, but it's exhausting. I'm quite a cynical (realistic) ******* at times. And some more I'm not willing to share.

Does anyone also have any advice in moving on? I can't unfortunately get revenge because I'm not willing to go through the legal system further, so I just want to move on.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#2
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#2
:bump:
0
reply
~Tara~
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#3
Report 2 years ago
#3
Hi,

Its hard to respond to this with specific information because things like confidentiality do sometimes depend on your age and circumstances. Generally, they shouldn't force a disclosure to the police but they may discuss the need in future to pass on to a safeguarding team. This depends on the risk of abuser to other children as well as aspects for yourself.

There are self help books out there and support groups but ive personally found that therapy provides something that those things cannot. Its also pretty difficult to find resources for male victims but a good place to start is Survivors UK. They have a website with info of what they do and what else is out there.

The one time my therapist had to speak to social services was because my abuser was in contact with vulnerable people. Nothing came of it.
1
reply
Nerol
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#4
Report 2 years ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm afraid to get in contact with organisations that provide counselling to men who were sexually abused as children.

How can I trust their confidentiality if it's conditional? Secondly how can I be sure that they won't try pressure me to go through the judicial system? I've already asked the police to do a background check on the perpetrator, despite him not being a threat to any children at the moment. (I keep tabs on him.) I'm not willing to take it to court because I don't want my family to find out.

I believe the abuse was a big factor in what I believe was a depression I had for over half a year (but one I've luckily gotten myself out of.) I've irrationally felt a lot of shame (I understand it's not my fault), I've felt anger and vengeful, I've identified several facets of my behaviour that I believe stemmed from this (increased casual encounters, with no/little aesthetic standards for the people I met, binged smoke for a couple of months, but have now stopped smoking, quite a lot of temptation though. Distorted view of what constitutes healthy relationships for a while I've had somr trust issues.) I've really had to examine what was wrong and fix a lot of it myself, but it's exhausting. I'm quite a cynical (realistic) ******* at times. And some more I'm not willing to share.

Does anyone also have any advice in moving on? I can't unfortunately get revenge because I'm not willing to go through the legal system further, so I just want to move on.
If you are over 18 and if there is no risk to you or others from this abuser, then anything you say to a therapist is confidential. They will not try to talk you into anything you don't want to do, and it is not their job to recommend legal action, so don't worry about that.

If you want to move on, I suggest talking to a GP who can refer you to a counselling service. Alternatively, here are a couple of resources you may be interested in looking into:


Mankind – Provides one-to-one counselling, therapeutic groups and couple counselling to men (age 18+) who have experienced sexual abuse at any time in their lives.


Survivors UK – Provides support for men who have been raped or sexually abused. Also provides face-to-face counselling and support groups in some areas.

If you feel your experience with child sexual abuse is affecting your life, don't just sit with it and hope it will go away. It very well might, and it seems like you are doing better now, but counselling and other support can really make a huge difference. I can't recommend it enough.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top

What's your favourite genre?

Rock (190)
24.05%
Pop (192)
24.3%
Jazz (30)
3.8%
Classical (46)
5.82%
Hip-Hop (150)
18.99%
Electronic (53)
6.71%
Indie (129)
16.33%

Watched Threads

View All