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    What do people think about adoption from abroad?

    I know that i cant have children and I have made peace with that many years ago and have a partner who is very understanding and supportive. I know that i will adopt in the future (at least 5 years from now-i'm 22 now and still way too young for kids!) and will try to adopt a child from this country but would like to know what other peoples opinions are on babies adopted from abroad.

    Do you think its selfish or asking for more problems in the future?
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    I think that it is fine, there was a girl in my drama class who was adopted from mexico aged six months and she seemed fine about it. I think that there are many children in LEDC's who need a good loveing home and if this can be found with a foreign couple I don't think it should be a problem.
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    I think it is good. In american some people are adopting babies from asia. One of my teachers adopted a baby from China. A couple that are hosts on one of my favorite radio stations adopted a baby from China a few months ago.
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    I think it's good. But a tip: Make sure the baby adopted from abroad knows plenty about his/her originating country, and if possible, give him/her a chance to learn their language as well. I know technically the baby will be British, but when they grow up they're going to want to know about their own culture.
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    My aunt and uncle have adopted two kids, one from bolivia and one from south africa (white). They seem perfectly ok with it and act just like sisters. The oldest one is a bit hung up about not being tall like her mom and the youngest one wish she had black hair like her sister (she's blonde) but that's just how teenagers are I guess.
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    (Original post by frost105)
    What do people think about adoption from abroad?

    I know that i cant have children and I have made peace with that many years ago and have a partner who is very understanding and supportive. I know that i will adopt in the future (at least 5 years from now-i'm 22 now and still way too young for kids!) and will try to adopt a child from this country but would like to know what other peoples opinions are on babies adopted from abroad.

    Do you think its selfish or asking for more problems in the future?
    The only reason one could possibly object to foreign adoption would be if one argued that it encourages people to leave their kids. This is howevere quite unlikely. More likely is it that you will be able to provide a loving and caring home for a kid which might otherwise be left to itself. I think many wommen in India would wish they had been adopted by foreigners when they were babies as an example. I don't think you should feel you are selfish. Merely worrying about that is an indication that you do care for the child, and that you will probably be a great parent.

    Also, if it is not rude to ask (just ignore this post if you do not feel like answering) why are you unable to have children? Have you considdered IVF ?
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    (Original post by Jonatan)
    The only reason one could possibly object to foreign adoption would be if one argued that it encourages people to leave their kids. This is howevere quite unlikely. More likely is it that you will be able to provide a loving and caring home for a kid which might otherwise be left to itself. I think many wommen in India would wish they had been adopted by foreigners when they were babies as an example. I don't think you should feel you are selfish. Merely worrying about that is an indication that you do care for the child, and that you will probably be a great parent.

    Also, if it is not rude to ask (just ignore this post if you do not feel like answering) why are you unable to have children? Have you considdered IVF ?
    I have endometrosis, have had one fallobian tube removed and the other one is considerably damaged so my chances of natural conception are low.
    I have chosen against IVF because of its low success rate and because I dont think i could cope with having my hopes raised and dashed.
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    I think you should adopt children from this country first before adopting them from abroad. This is simply because, the problem of children needing homes should be sorted out here before we try to sort it out in other countries, which could perhaps be seen as hippocritical.
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    (Original post by janon)
    I think you should adopt children from this country first before adopting them from abroad. This is simply because, the problem of children needing homes should be sorted out here before we try to sort it out in other countries, which could perhaps be seen as hippocritical.
    I would like to adopt from this country but the chance of actually receiving a child less than a year old is quite small (only around 200 a year). I would like to adopt an older child as well from this country (there are an awful lot of children who have brothers and sisters too that need adopting together which I would like to be able to do). But I know I would want a baby and would have a better chance of having a baby if i adopted from abroad.
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    (Original post by frost105)
    I have endometrosis, have had one fallobian tube removed and the other one is considerably damaged so my chances of natural conception are low.
    I have chosen against IVF because of its low success rate and because I dont think i could cope with having my hopes raised and dashed.
    OK. I understand ( I guess). Anyways I don't think anyone would find it selfish in any way to adopt from abroad.
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    (Original post by frost105)
    I would like to adopt from this country but the chance of actually receiving a child less than a year old is quite small (only around 200 a year). I would like to adopt an older child as well from this country (there are an awful lot of children who have brothers and sisters too that need adopting together which I would like to be able to do). But I know I would want a baby and would have a better chance of having a baby if i adopted from abroad.
    I think that's fair enough, and probably human instinct. I have great respect for people who adopt rather than trying for their own baby, I'm not sure if I could do the same, were I in that situation. There are just so many children out there who really need loving homes, it makes so much more sense to help them before creating more! I don't think it matters if they are adopted from another country, as long as they are young enough to adjust to the change easily.
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    (Original post by sarah101)
    I have great respect for people who adopt rather than trying for their own baby
    I wish i were so gracious but I know that i would definatly have a baby if i could!
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    (Original post by frost105)
    I wish i were so gracious but I know that i would definatly have a baby if i could!
    Regardless you would be giving a home to a child who otherwise would grow up without any parents, so it is of mutual benefit. You get to experience the joy of having a child, and the child gets a caring family to come home to.
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    (Original post by frost105)
    I wish i were so gracious but I know that i would definatly have a baby if i could!
    I did mean also mean rather than trying for IVF. But I know a couple of my Mum's friends who have fostered and adopted several disabled children who were unwanted by their real parents, after deciding it made more sense than creating yet more children in an over-populated World. I very much doubt that I could do the same. Biological instinct to reproduce I suppose.
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    (Original post by sarah101)
    I did mean also mean rather than trying for IVF. But I know a couple of my Mum's friends who have fostered and adopted several disabled children who were unwanted by their real parents, after deciding it made more sense than creating yet more children in an over-populated World. I very much doubt that I could do the same. Biological instinct to reproduce I suppose.
    I must admit I've always been ok with it until my best friend became pregnant and i got really jealous and would be really pushy on all the things she should be doing eg taking vitamins. In the end my boyf had to tell me what i was doing. Now i'm godmother to a beautiful little 1 year old
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    (Original post by Jonatan)
    The only reason one could possibly object to foreign adoption would be if one argued that it encourages people to leave their kids. This is howevere quite unlikely. More likely is it that you will be able to provide a loving and caring home for a kid which might otherwise be left to itself. I think many wommen in India would wish they had been adopted by foreigners when they were babies as an example. I don't think you should feel you are selfish. Merely worrying about that is an indication that you do care for the child, and that you will probably be a great parent.

    Also, if it is not rude to ask (just ignore this post if you do not feel like answering) why are you unable to have children? Have you considdered IVF ?
    My one concern is some of the illegal adoptions. There was a great series on BBC breakfast show recently about a girl adopted by some yanks from afghanistan. Why did it get attention? Because the girl was adopted against US law, Afghan (and actual muslim) law and adopted from a small well run home (small as in private home) where she was surrogate daughter toa british raised, highly educated afghan woman.
    THe basis was that she had been on tv, this yank family had seen her, wanted her, so offered her mother (who had abandoned her years ago) money to adopt her. a few bribes later...

    dodgy, goes on in china and places too - mainly from people with no patience, and plenty of cash. Not a good parenting endorsement
    J
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    I think it's a good idea. Good luck with whatever you choose
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    (Original post by frost105)
    What do people think about adoption from abroad?

    I know that i cant have children and I have made peace with that many years ago and have a partner who is very understanding and supportive. I know that i will adopt in the future (at least 5 years from now-i'm 22 now and still way too young for kids!) and will try to adopt a child from this country but would like to know what other peoples opinions are on babies adopted from abroad.

    Do you think its selfish or asking for more problems in the future?
    I don't see what's selfish about adopting a child from a filthy Albanian orphanage (for example) and saving that child from a lifetime of poverty and a frankly miserable existance.
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    WOW.

    you seem to have thought all this through.

    When people were madly adopting Romnian orphans I was against it. Mainly because people were just going and 'buying' a baby. Several then ended up in care in Britain because the parents couldn't deal with them.

    I understand you wanting a baby and I hope you get a baby, don't forget you will be at an advantage when it comes to adopting in that you have known for years that you will adopt and you will be younger than many potential parents so possibly a better prospect for adopting a baby.

    I watched a TV programme a while ago about a couple adopting a little girl from China. The little girl was about 16 months. The mother went to pick her up in China, a worker from the orphanage and a civil servant brought her to a hotel by train, I think it was about 5 hours from the orphanage and she only had an hour in the hotel room before they left her with her new mother.

    She cried for the next few days - totally bewildered.

    When she arrived in England her new dad and brother had decorated the whole house with Chinese decorations. For this little girl, and these parents I'm sure it was the right decision.

    I'm sure whatever you decide it will be the right decision, just because you have looked into things so well.
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    (Original post by sashh)
    WOW.

    When people were madly adopting Romnian orphans I was against it. Mainly because people were just going and 'buying' a baby. Several then ended up in care in Britain because the parents couldn't deal with them.
    Then you must remember the images of these orphanages when the true horror of them was made known when Caucescu (sp?) was "removed" in 89.

    As I remember it was an image of children so emotionally and physically neglected that they spent their days covered in their own excrement rocking backwards and forwards. Not a pretty sight.

    Sure, call it "buying a baby" if you like and perhaps some ended up in care in Britain when the adopting parents realized they'd bitten off more than they could chew. But, for the few that ended up in care many hundreds didn't.
 
 
 
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