What do I do about my ex who I still love?

sounds toxic.

Perhaps meet other guys, spend time around them and get to know them

Then if you still want to get back with your ex go for it

Sorry this is going to be very long but I need help

I've known this guy for a very long time now and were extremely close. We got together and last year he went to uni so it was a long distance relationship which I know wasn't a good idea but we couldn't bear to leave each other then. He became distant and he got extremely angry with me for little things. Suddenly we were fighting nearly everyday and he replied to me after hours even though he was online very often. I knew something was really off and he confessed that he started liking this other girl who he has lectures with etc.

I found out who this girl was. She went to the same college as me and we both knew each other but have never talked to each other. he also told me that she had a boyfriend.

He promised me that he'd never speak to her again if I came down that week to see him (to ****) so I did and it was really stupid of me to believe him but I lost my V to him. I knew they were still talking with each very often but I never said anything about it. I used to sleep at 11pm every night back then and he admitted to staying up to 3am every night talking to her sexually and blamed me for this because I slept early.

I was just extremely hurt. We then had another fight and he broke up with me then got back together. This happened several times then we kinda half ended it. I didn't know what it was. And then he dropped a bombshell on me. He had been sleeping with her. He told me that she told her boyfriend and he forgave her. I cried so much that day. I felt so betrayed. He was giving me all this sweet talk before this and after he told me he apologized to me but I couldn't bear to talk to him at that point. I sent him one last messaged about how i felt and then I blocked him on FB. A week later I see pics of him on IG and I realise that they were still sleeping with each other and they started a relationship. I then blocked him on everything. It was the hardest thing for me.

2 months later I unblocked him with no intention of messaging him. A few weeks later I get a message from him saying how extremely wrong he was and how I was the right girl yada yada. That girl had cheated on him with another guy and he fell into a huge depression because of their breakup. I was cold to him in the beginning but I realized this is the man that got me through all of my hard times with problems with my family and other things and I comforted him about his break up and after a few weeks we started talking all lovey dovey again. When we started talking again he sent me recycled nudes and I realised because it was screenshot as it had the time-stamp from Snapchat and he then admitted that he sent it to her ages ago. I brushed it off but sometimes he sends screenshots of a convo between his friends and they're joking around "playing with girls" and how his friend sleeps with girls and just dumps them and just other times where he jokes around that he has so many bi***es. Sometimes I feel like he hasn't gotten over her.

Now I'll be going to the same uni as him next week and we do have intentions to hang out and chill with each other but I have this feeling inside me. I want to never see him again yet I feel hopeless. Whenever he texts me I get so happy and I wish I didn't. I wish I didn't love him at all. I haven't told him that I love him but it hurts because whenever we aren't talking I think in a more rational way. In a way which is better for me yet I fall for his charm every time. And only a few days ago we started following each other on IG again.


Help me please

Whom* I still love.

Whichever guy I meet, I will always choose my ex over them. I wish I didn't because I want to let go so bad but I can't.

Yes, you can. There's nothing physically stopping you from blocking your ex on everything is there?

Of course if you tell yourself you need someone then that's only going to make you desire them even more, not help you move on. Stop being so dependent on one person for happiness.

You are your own worst enemy.

Thank you however wouldn't it be odd if we added each other just for me to block him again? Do you think I can get over him without blocking him? I just want to think of him as an acquaintance or a friend but nothing else

I agree with Eden3

(I'm talking from experience from an ex I was with for 3 years, where the relationship broke down when we went to uni)

From female to female:

1. Cancel your plans with him and tell him you don't want or need him in your life
2. Block him
3. Keep yourself occupied
4. Start moving on

You said it yourself, your thoughts are more rational without him. You need to be strong and not have any contact with him. Seeing his posts on social media and receiving text messages from him will not help you move on. Tell him you dont want anything to do with him, and if you have to result to ignoring him in person then so be it. Avoid having the same friendship groups.

His behaviour shows he doesn't care about you or respect you. He is only interested in you for his own advantage. By you going back to him all you do is feed his ego.

A cheater will always cheat babe. You don't want to end up catching something nasty because of his promiscuity .

You need to find POSITIVE distractions e.g. an active social life, excel in your uni work, spend time with friends, go out etc. Find what makes you happy.University can be an amazing experience but having him in your life will only hold you back, don't let him do that!

Yes you're going to be hurting SO much, yes you'll cry, yes you'll miss him but those feelings can go away and fade but you have to stay strong.The best way is time and no contact. Delete his number, delete any pictures or videos you have with him or of him. Get rid of gifts you have from him too. At the end of the day why keep them? There is nothing worth holding on to.

Ensure your cloest friends surrounding you are good company. When you feel like contacting him or replying to a message talk to them first.

Its also possible you might need a rebound. A rebound doesn't always have to involve getting physical. It can be someone to talk to, to cuddle, to hang out with etc


Don't let anyone tell you "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else" because that's a lie.

The best healer is time, good company and no contact . Good luck!

Thank you! Oh God the waterworks have already started. I have deleted pictures and videos of him and I did feel it helped me initially. I think a rebound does sound good with the cuddling and just having someone to talk to although I am very shy. I will try 😌