megan789
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Please, could you read my essay and give your feedback on what you think about my art based issue - this is in order for me to complete my Gold Arts Award!

Are art based subjects as important as academic subjects?
For my arts award; my art related debate will be on whether art based subjects are as important as academic subjects in school? Being one of the first years to be put through the new linear A levels and have my brother sit the new style GCSE’s the changes to education are very personal to my family and is something I can relate to. As the more “ artistic” child it was very important that I was offered art based subjects at GCSE and A level as these were the subjects that I enjoyed and wished to pursue in the future. Also with being dyslexic, I found it easier to express myself through art rather than academics. It was very disheartening to know that all the art subjects I was offered at GCSE were limited to just one, GCSE art when my brother was picking his options. In our growing society , art based subjects are more important than ever. We need graphic designers, publishers, editors, illustrators etc to write and create text books and materials for all subjects without them a maths book would just be numbers and people would have little interested - meaning students could fail one of their compulsory GCSEs. Photographers and roles in video production are needed to record events and express them to the world, without them no one would know what was going on globally. From my research, many people believe art is very important, just as important as science, English and maths. The creative sector is one of the biggest industries in the UK and produces products shown around the global. We need to teach art based subjects in school to keep the creative industry going and making profit. also with growing technology, many jobs are being replaced with robots; in factories, jobs once done by humans are now done 24/7 by robots. Robots cannot place humans in the creative sector; a robot can not create art, direct and produce tv shows/movies or write and illustrate books. We should be encouraging people to engage in the arts and taking art based subjects at school as jobs in the creative sector aren't at risk of being taken over by technology and with a constant demand for art and entertainment, we will always need people to work in the creative industry.As well as being forced to partake in the arts when one's not artists, art based subjects take time away from the credited subjects. John last of NUA has said, “The aim of education in the past was to offer a balanced curriculum of arts, humanities and sciences (…) but the introduction of the English Baccalaureate in 2010 set us on a path where creativity falls outside the ‘core’ of our children’s education.“The consequences of this downgrading of creative subjects are already being felt – in the choices pupils make about their GCSE options, in the practical creative skills they develop during their education and in the difficult decisions head teachers are making about funding and resources.” - tes.com .Schools tend to favour Ebacc subjects (English, Maths, Science, humanities and languages) as at GCSE this is what a school is measured on - the better the results in Ebacc the better the school. So if a student needs to work harder in an Ebacc they tend to be taken out of any art subject they partake in. additionally, art based subjects are less important compared to academic subjects as they do not contribute to society. By teaching science, students can help cure illness and save lives but art just helps people forget about the problems in the world rather than fixing them. Also for students who aren't creative like my brother art based subjects are not as important as academic ones. Being forced to be creative in art and DT is very difficult for those that aren't creative, for shy students being forced to perform in dance and drama is their worse nightmare - so to them and their families art based subjects are a waste of time. It also takes time away from their studies, at school, we had many music performances from visiting artists and at the end of the year often have a dance group come in a teach us a routine. Both of these were half or full day activities taking time away from important lessons which would benefit students greatly in the future. In conclusion, art based subjects are just as important as academic subjects. I believe art inputs into society just as much as Ebacc subjects. Many artists have depicted important events in history through art or have painted images of historical figures which allows us to remember them. How can a history student pass an exam without seeing a painting depicting a historic event or figure? We could learn about the shooting of JFK without the media and photography footage. In most cases the Ebacc subjects wouldn't work or have a great success rate without the aid of some art form - art can exist without academics but in school most academic subjects can only work with art.however being forced to partake in arts when you're not creative or perform when you're terribly shy is awful and I think in some cases students shouldn't have to partake if they do not wish to. Therefore art based subjects shouldn't be enforced but they should be considered as important as academics and in the future, I would like to see art subjects such as media, design or photography as one of the subjects a schools success is measured on.
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LightYearsAway
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Hello there!

I've noticed that sometimes your sentences go on for too long, which is a problem I also have! Try to make one or two points per sentences, vary your sentence types and sue a variety of puncheon to include breaks in your sentences! Your points are intelligent and very reasonable but doing the aforementioned points would make your essay easier to read and more professional!
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LightYearsAway
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Hello again!

Did you have to write an essay for the lower ranks of the art award? If so, perhaps use the feedback you got on them to help you with your essay! I would also recommend asking an English teacher at your school to look over it as they can point out what you have done well and what needs improving! Also, try not to make your points seem like a big list by perhaps offering different points of view towards whether art or science subjects are more important, as that will make your argument seem more well rounded as your considering many different points. Include some statistics as to what the most popular GCSE subjects are in school and what pupils generally think about the importance of science and art subjects as this will either show how many students support your views or whether you feel if too many students ar taking science subjects and too few art subjects, suggest what could be done to make the numbers more even.

You could also include what could be done in GCSe art subject lessons(like potential subjects for photography and what equipment could be used for sculpture) as this will help to show your creativity more. Don't forget to include paragraphs as this will split your work into clearly defined sections so it will be easier to read.

I admire how dyslexia hasn't stopped you from writing a great and informative essay but it could be better! Don't forget to ask the adults around you as they're definitely more experienced at essay writing than me!
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