How can you start loving yourself again? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
I know the question might sound weird and please be serious with the responses

I've been feeling low a lot lately, well over a year. I hate everything about myself, my weight, the way I think, my life. To give you a mini break down of each;

I feel like I've gained weight, and no matter what I try I just can't lose it. I constantly get compared to my sister and I know she looks better, but I just been so down about it today.

I feel like because I feel so low, I just feel sad all the time, I feel like I'm so moany and annoying to my family, I don't want to be but idk it's just who I am atm, I don't like thinking this way.

I basically have lost touch with two friends, I thought were friends but no matter how much I reach out, it doesn't seem like they want that friendship anymore. I have like four friends atm and they're all busy or live in a different cities. I feel like I have no one to talk to you see, this is why I'm on here.

All of these things are affecting me mentally and as a result it has taken a toll on the upkeep of my hygiene i.e having a shower, brushing teeth, wash my face. I literally was a person to have a wash twice a day, morning and night routine for years without fail, now I find it a chore to do simple tasks.

I feel like if no one cares about me how can I love myself? I just want to be that girl again, that had friends, that had a routine etc
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username2569523
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#2
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#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
I know the question might sound weird and please be serious with the responses

I've been feeling low a lot lately, well over a year. I hate everything about myself, my weight, the way I think, my life. To give you a mini break down of each;

I feel like I've gained weight, and no matter what I try I just can't lose it. I constantly get compared to my sister and I know she looks better, but I just been so down about it today.

I feel like because I feel so low, I just feel sad all the time, I feel like I'm so moany and annoying to my family, I don't want to be but idk it's just who I am atm, I don't like thinking this way.

I basically have lost touch with two friends, I thought were friends but no matter how much I reach out, it doesn't seem like they want that friendship anymore. I have like four friends atm and they're all busy or live in a different cities. I feel like I have no one to talk to you see, this is why I'm on here.

All of these things are affecting me mentally and as a result it has taken a toll on the upkeep of my hygiene i.e having a shower, brushing teeth, wash my face. I literally was a person to have a wash twice a day, morning and night routine for years without fail, now I find it a chore to do simple tasks.

I feel like if no one cares about me how can I love myself? I just want to be that girl again, that had friends, that had a routine etc
You can lose the weight by going on a caloric deficit and exercising. Friends come and go, your mood shouldn't be dependant on other people. Person hygiene is vital, no matter on how one is feeling. Make a concious effort to keep good hygiene. People care about you but you just don't see it. If you really feel like you can't get back from this on your own, then I'd suggest to go speak to your gp about it. Good luck.
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Bang Outta Order
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#3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I know the question might sound weird and please be serious with the responses

I've been feeling low a lot lately, well over a year. I hate everything about myself, my weight, the way I think, my life. To give you a mini break down of each;

I feel like I've gained weight, and no matter what I try I just can't lose it. I constantly get compared to my sister and I know she looks better, but I just been so down about it today.

I feel like because I feel so low, I just feel sad all the time, I feel like I'm so moany and annoying to my family, I don't want to be but idk it's just who I am atm, I don't like thinking this way.

I basically have lost touch with two friends, I thought were friends but no matter how much I reach out, it doesn't seem like they want that friendship anymore. I have like four friends atm and they're all busy or live in a different cities. I feel like I have no one to talk to you see, this is why I'm on here.

All of these things are affecting me mentally and as a result it has taken a toll on the upkeep of my hygiene i.e having a shower, brushing teeth, wash my face. I literally was a person to have a wash twice a day, morning and night routine for years without fail, now I find it a chore to do simple tasks.

I feel like if no one cares about me how can I love myself? I just want to be that girl again, that had friends, that had a routine etc
:console: but you've got to bathe, hun.
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ChickenMadness
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#4
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Someone told me, because I find it easier to do things for other people than myself;

Pretend you are in a relationship with yourself.

It's a good idea because a lot of the time I can't be arsed to do anything. But when I'm in a relationship I think of something I can do for my girlfriend instead and I'm motivated to do it. But if you pretend you are the girlfriend then you can get the extra motivation to do nice things for yourself.
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Anonymous #2
#5
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I feel so much like you do - everything except the weight bit and hygiene bit
I used to struggle with my weight perception until i just decided to stop caring. Like i just could not be bothered anymore. I have stopped weighing myself. Try tht. And when i look in the mirror i just learn to appreciate my curves
The hygiene thing - why? Do it for yourself not others. Take a bath as time to relax. Brush your teeth and smile. Ohmigod i sound bare cheesy but seriously at the end of the day being clean makes you feel better maybe not THAT much but a little bit
And exact situation with the 2 friends. They always talked about keeping in touch but i am the only to ever initiate meet ups and even then 1 is always "busy". And you know what i did that about 4 times until i realised i couldnt give a sh*t anymore. I literally felt like i was begging them and please dont sink that low. But also dont cut off those ties please! Keep in touch with the monthly hello how are you how is life how is family have you seen this in the news blah blah because us humans need ppl in our lives ! You dont have to be best friends jst keep them close so you have a network
And lastly why feel worthless? Getting bad grades or not having the greatest job in the world shouldn't make you feel worthless.
Tho tbh with you it is so much easier to dish out advice than to make all the above work. But one thing that I ALWAYS think about when i feel worthless are ppl who are struggling around the world. Take the example of the Rahinja ppl in Burma. So many of them have nothing, no family no friends no home. So many have been raped, cut, shot at. From a simplistic point of view they should find themselves "worthless" right? But that doesn't seem to even crosstheir minds. They run away from their burning villages having lost families parents brothers sisters.. and they keep running. They catch boats they keep faith they run into bangladesh shores, thankful they are alive
Yet... they have nothing really

Slightly long winded case study of mine but it jst helps me put things into perspective. If those ppl are able to find so much worth in life when they have nothing how can me and you not ?
Good luck to both of us!
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Anonymous #1
#6
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(Original post by Bang Outta Order)
:console: but you've got to bathe, hun.
I'm not saying i don't bathe anymore, I just feel like it's a chore when I do it and if I'm staying in by myself , I just don't bother.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ChickenMadness)
Someone told me, because I find it easier to do things for other people than myself;

Pretend you are in a relationship with yourself.

It's a good idea because a lot of the time I can't be arsed to do anything. But when I'm in a relationship I think of something I can do for my girlfriend instead and I'm motivated to do it. But if you pretend you are the girlfriend then you can get the extra motivation to do nice things for yourself.
That's a good way of thinking, I shall try it
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Rachmaninov)
I would recommend counselling, if your school offers it. They are trained psychologists who can give you greater support than random people on tsr can. It's very often the case that just talking about your mental troubles can alleviate them significantly, which will make it easier to combat them in the long term. However, we are ofc more than happy to support you and ofc we care.
I have spoken to people before but I feel like they aren't really listening and I feel stupid.
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Bang Outta Order
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#9
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm not saying i don't bathe anymore, I just feel like it's a chore when I do it and if I'm staying in by myself , I just don't bother.
I don't brush my teeth as soon as I wake up on Saturdays if it helps.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Bang Outta Order)
I don't brush my teeth as soon as I wake up on Saturdays if it helps.
Lol that actually made me laugh, I wish I had more people to make me laugh.
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Bang Outta Order
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#11
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Lol that actually made me laugh, I wish I had more people to make me laugh.
your op didn't say anything about you being at uni so if you're not at uni I'd be confident to tell you you'll find yourself or some kind of escape when you start. If you're not working maybe you'll make new friends when you start, not necessarily at work, but simply leaving the house and keeping active, meeting people as you commute, perhaps. Or people near your job like the shop over, or on the floor up, or something.
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Anonymous #1
#12
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(Original post by Bang Outta Order)
your op didn't say anything about you being at uni so if you're not at uni I'd be confident to tell you you'll find yourself or some kind of escape when you start. If you're not working maybe you'll make new friends when you start, not necessarily at work, but simply leaving the house and keeping active, meeting people as you commute, perhaps. Or people near your job like the shop over, or on the floor up, or something.
Yeah I'm at uni, in my final year
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