The Student Room Group

Terrified about going to uni and mental health

So in 4 days I will be moving out into my new accommodation and I am ******** myself. As a person with actually diagnosed depression and anxiety it feels like I'm going to be dead by Monday, I was on medication a year ago but I stopped because in order to receive my prescription I had to attend counselling sessions which were honestly the worst things I ever had to go through, unprofessional, led by a "nurse" and they made me feel like I was some shy 13 year old who is scared of others. That aside, year 13 was terrible for me as thanks to some people rumours spread around school and I lost some friends and because I turned 18 and was sad and miserable I turned to prescription drugs, coke and alcohol because apparently that's trendy today and all celebs do it, I'm having this breakdown now because the drugs are gone and I'm physically sick of alcohol and can't look at it, with parents gone on holiday and me home alone for a very long time I've managed to spend my uni savings and bank overdraft on a medicore high and a feeling of regret. I just wanted to share this with someone as my friends who I could count using my fingers if 8 of them were amputated are not really friends but rather people who I abuse and they abuse me back and sometimes have a drink with. I don't speak to people about my feelings so thanks for the internet. I wanted to hear from other people who may be going through the same as me, I haven't even started and I'm already terrified. I'm going to a medicore uni to which I was only accepted because I lied to my headteacher and got an unconditional offer, I made contact with people who will be living closely to me and due to my uni choice they are mostly made up of people who can't string a sentence together and/or look like the girls who scream, piss themselves and chat up homeless on Tuesday morning in town. I'm not an "intelectual" neckbeard who is obese and makes fun of feminism but I'm scared that I won't fit in and that I will be a loner in my room who sneaks into a kitchen at 1am in order to avoid everyone and finally eat something. Share your stories below and if you are already at uni let me know what it was like for someone who deals with depression etc.
Thanks for reading (if anyone gets to the end)
(edited 6 years ago)
Hmm, not promising beginnings. I'm sorry you're going through this.

Most people are a little apprehensive about beginning university, but having mental health conditions and suddenly being made self-sufficient would really throw you in the deep end. It happens to a lot of people when they start university, and it can take people to a pretty bad place.

I would seriously consider whether you would be better off deferring until next year, sorting yourself out and taking a gap year.

I'm sorry you've had such a negative experience on the NHS. It is very much a question of pot luck and a number of people are unfortunately put off by the abominable state of mental health care in this country, and never seek help again. Don't be one of those people. If you want to get better, which I really feel like you do, then you have to be determined and persistent. You've had a bad counselling experience - so seek out a new counsellor. And keep on seeing your GP communicating how desperate you are feeling. Eventually they'll have to refer you to a psychiatrist if all other plans of action fail. You can get good help on the NHS for mental health but you have to persist like crazy.

Please, don't just accept you are ill. You may have had a rough time recently, and are feeling pretty friendless, but that happens to the best of us. People regenerate themselves, build new lives. Why can't that be you?

Hope you feel better soon.
Firstly - don't write off counselling because one counsellor was bad. Sometimes you just don't gel with that person but another could really help. Your uni will probably have a free counselling service with a minimal waiting list - get in there fast and just try it. You can quit if it's not for you.

Secondly - go see a GP as soon as you get to uni and ask to go back on meds if they were helping, there's no reason you should have to go to counselling at the same time.

Thirdly - speak to your unis disability team and make sure your registered as disabled. This will make it easier to access emergency funds if you need them and will also mean you can get help if you're struggling with the course.

Lastly - don't write off your flatmates, give the whole thing a chance and you might find you enjoy yourself
Original post by xxxtentacion
So in 4 days I will be moving out into my new accommodation and I am ******** myself. As a person with actually diagnosed depression and anxiety it feels like I'm going to be dead by Monday, I was on medication a year ago but I stopped because in order to receive my prescription I had to attend counselling sessions which were honestly the worst things I ever had to go through, unprofessional, led by a "nurse" and they made me feel like I was some shy 13 year old who is scared of others. That aside, year 13 was terrible for me as thanks to some people rumours spread around school and I lost some friends and because I turned 18 and was sad and miserable I turned to prescription drugs, coke and alcohol because apparently that's trendy today and all celebs do it, I'm having this breakdown now because the drugs are gone and I'm physically sick of alcohol and can't look at it, with parents gone on holiday and me home alone for a very long time I've managed to spend my uni savings and bank overdraft on a medicore high and a feeling of regret. I just wanted to share this with someone as my friends who I could count using my fingers if 8 of them were amputated are not really friends but rather people who I abuse and they abuse me back and sometimes have a drink with. I don't speak to people about my feelings so thanks for the internet. I wanted to hear from other people who may be going through the same as me, I haven't even started and I'm already terrified. I'm going to a medicore uni to which I was only accepted because I lied to my headteacher and got an unconditional offer, I made contact with people who will be living closely to me and due to my uni choice they are mostly made up of people who can't string a sentence together and/or look like the girls who scream, piss themselves and chat up homeless on Tuesday morning in town. I'm not an "intelectual" neckbeard who is obese and makes fun of feminism but I'm scared that I won't fit in and that I will be a loner in my room who sneaks into a kitchen at 1am in order to avoid everyone and finally eat something. Share your stories below and if you are already at uni let me know what it was like for someone who deals with depression etc.
Thanks for reading (if anyone gets to the end)


So I moved into my accommodation in London yesterday; I learnt that if you have mental health issues it's an awful few days at least and its normal but that doesn't make it any easier.
I had to take a year out in between year 12 and 13 because I had an absolute break down. Similar to you, except I had the side effects of drugs without the drugs if you get my jist. When I recovered slightly, and the main psychosis wore off I did binge on alcohol and drugs but it was never the main issue of my mental illness you get me.
After half a day I woke up this morning just like empty inside and out. Yesterday, I arrived at 5 and the kitchen was packed with just everyone from different flats, who got there early and I just couldn't socialise with them. Whilst they did invite me to meet them on the front lawn to go to the first freshers party. I spent the evening in my room eating cous cous and then went the the full moon party where I was with a big group of people who know each other - where I was on the outskirts just half shuffling feeling really awkward. I don't dress like people here - I'm not saying I'm conservative looking but I don't have many fancy clubbing outfits (at home we just have a good time in jeans or a casual skirt and tshirt)
The weird thing is - it's like everything is what I expected? And yet I feel just empty.
I don't know which university you're at but if you want to literally just be here to support each other - even though I've always been like 'people are more than mental illness' I feel like we can use support right now.
Original post by 1984vienna
So I moved into my accommodation in London yesterday; I learnt that if you have mental health issues it's an awful few days at least and its normal but that doesn't make it any easier.
I had to take a year out in between year 12 and 13 because I had an absolute break down. Similar to you, except I had the side effects of drugs without the drugs if you get my jist. When I recovered slightly, and the main psychosis wore off I did binge on alcohol and drugs but it was never the main issue of my mental illness you get me.
After half a day I woke up this morning just like empty inside and out. Yesterday, I arrived at 5 and the kitchen was packed with just everyone from different flats, who got there early and I just couldn't socialise with them. Whilst they did invite me to meet them on the front lawn to go to the first freshers party. I spent the evening in my room eating cous cous and then went the the full moon party where I was with a big group of people who know each other - where I was on the outskirts just half shuffling feeling really awkward. I don't dress like people here - I'm not saying I'm conservative looking but I don't have many fancy clubbing outfits (at home we just have a good time in jeans or a casual skirt and tshirt)
The weird thing is - it's like everything is what I expected? And yet I feel just empty.
I don't know which university you're at but if you want to literally just be here to support each other - even though I've always been like 'people are more than mental illness' I feel like we can use support right now.


:hugs:

Word of advice: Get on the counselling list as soon as. It fills up too quick. Even if you feel like you don't need it now, you might at some point and often it's just too late because they already have a huge waiting list.
Original post by 1984vienna
So I moved into my accommodation in London yesterday; I learnt that if you have mental health issues it's an awful few days at least and its normal but that doesn't make it any easier.
I had to take a year out in between year 12 and 13 because I had an absolute break down. Similar to you, except I had the side effects of drugs without the drugs if you get my jist. When I recovered slightly, and the main psychosis wore off I did binge on alcohol and drugs but it was never the main issue of my mental illness you get me.
After half a day I woke up this morning just like empty inside and out. Yesterday, I arrived at 5 and the kitchen was packed with just everyone from different flats, who got there early and I just couldn't socialise with them. Whilst they did invite me to meet them on the front lawn to go to the first freshers party. I spent the evening in my room eating cous cous and then went the the full moon party where I was with a big group of people who know each other - where I was on the outskirts just half shuffling feeling really awkward. I don't dress like people here - I'm not saying I'm conservative looking but I don't have many fancy clubbing outfits (at home we just have a good time in jeans or a casual skirt and tshirt)
The weird thing is - it's like everything is what I expected? And yet I feel just empty.
I don't know which university you're at but if you want to literally just be here to support each other - even though I've always been like 'people are more than mental illness' I feel like we can use support right now.


I feel you, this sort of happened to me yesterday when I moved in. I was trying to delay meeting people by taking absolutely forever to unpack my things but when I was being hurried by other I decided to go in and say hi, my flatmates seem alright but because I arrived late they all managed to socialise with each other and they all seem like best friends, I spent some time with them, we talked for a bit and later went to see a movie at a different flat. It was ok but once again I quietly hid behind my phone then I said that I'm going to get some food but instead spent the rest of the night in my bedroom. Let me know how it goes for you and if you ever feel the need to speak to someone I'll try to be there so we can share our 'depressing' lives.

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