Should I tell him about my child ? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
When I was 14 I was rapped and forcefully made drunk at a party, anyway as a result I became pregnant. I was scared and alone so I went through with it , when my family found out we agreed to put the baby up for adoption. She was adopted at 1 week old , and it is an open adoption so I get to see her once a year and this year she turned 4 . Anyway I have recently got a boyfriend been together 2 months now and we are getting closer , do I need to tell him now or wait as I feel ashamed to have had a baby at 15 as a result of rape. I mean would he come with me to see her or what? What do you guys think?
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chungyanho
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#2
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#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
When I was 14 I was rapped and forcefully made drunk at a party, anyway as a result I became pregnant. I was scared and alone so I went through with it , when my family found out we agreed to put the baby up for adoption. She was adopted at 1 week old , and it is an open adoption so I get to see her once a year and this year she turned 4 . Anyway I have recently got a boyfriend been together 2 months now and we are getting closer , do I need to tell him now or wait as I feel ashamed to have had a baby at 15 as a result of rape. I mean would he come with me to see her or what? What do you guys think?
Some guys won't mind but some guys do. I will say you should wait a bit. Your relationship is not to the point of marriage yet.
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-Eirlys-
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#3
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#3
I'm sure he'll be fine. It's not like you're full time taking care of her. He likely wouldn't want to intrude on your meetings with her and would be sensitive to your feelings regarding whether to come or not, as it is entirely up to you.
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Anonymous #2
#4
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#4
2 months in many people's opinion is not a long time, especially with something which you obviously hold close to you. If it were me I would wait at least a little while longer until you're fairly certain hes going to be able to understand and move on with the relationship as normal. Saying that, if anything topic wise comes up, lying to him about something as such would be the worst thing to do as when you come to eventually tell him he would not appreciate the lie in the first place. Overall, just take your time with it and I am pretty certain you will know when feels like a good time.
All the best!
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#5
(Original post by chungyanho)
Some guys won't mind but some guys do. I will say you should wait a bit. Your relationship is not to the point of marriage yet.
I'm going to wait until it approachs the time I see her again
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Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
2 months in many people's opinion is not a long time, especially with something which you obviously hold close to you. If it were me I would wait at least a little while longer until you're fairly certain hes going to be able to understand and move on with the relationship as normal. Saying that, if anything topic wise comes up, lying to him about something as such would be the worst thing to do as when you come to eventually tell him he would not appreciate the lie in the first place. Overall, just take your time with it and I am pretty certain you will know when feels like a good time.
All the best!
Thank you if he ever asks about children or anything I will be honest I'm waiting for a while before I tell him
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doodle_333
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#7
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#7
Don't tell the guy yet. I assume you're still pretty young? 2 months is not a long term relationship and something like that would be (in my opinion) way too personal to share in such a new relationship. I would wait to 6 months + before disclosing something so big.
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aspire.1a
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#8
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(Original post by Anonymous)
When I was 14 I was rapped and forcefully made drunk at a party, anyway as a result I became pregnant. I was scared and alone so I went through with it , when my family found out we agreed to put the baby up for adoption. She was adopted at 1 week old , and it is an open adoption so I get to see her once a year and this year she turned 4 . Anyway I have recently got a boyfriend been together 2 months now and we are getting closer , do I need to tell him now or wait as I feel ashamed to have had a baby at 15 as a result of rape. I mean would he come with me to see her or what? What do you guys think?
How old r u now? And how old is your boyfriend?
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bones-mccoy
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#9
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Only tell him when you feel comfortable. None of us can put a time on when that's going to be but you should never feel pressured.
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Anonymous #1
#10
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#10
(Original post by aspire.1a)
How old r u now? And how old is your boyfriend?
I'm 19 and he is 20
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aspire.1a
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#11
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm 19 and he is 20
I understand where you're coming from. Can you describe what his reaction may be when he finds out u have a child?
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aspire.1a
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#12
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(Original post by Anonymous)
When I was 14 I was rapped and forcefully made drunk at a party, anyway as a result I became pregnant. I was scared and alone so I went through with it , when my family found out we agreed to put the baby up for adoption. She was adopted at 1 week old , and it is an open adoption so I get to see her once a year and this year she turned 4 . Anyway I have recently got a boyfriend been together 2 months now and we are getting closer , do I need to tell him now or wait as I feel ashamed to have had a baby at 15 as a result of rape. I mean would he come with me to see her or what? What do you guys think?
Im going to be honest with you. Getting raped is never your fault or anyone's fault for that matter. However the very fact that you were at a party at the tender, young age of 14 is not right but since u were forcefully made drunk thats the fault of the perpetrator. Its ultimately your decision but its your past and its ur decision if u want to tell ur boyfriend or not. However if it makes u feel guilty not telling him the you should. Follow your heart is what I say
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aspire.1a
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#13
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#13
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you if he ever asks about children or anything I will be honest I'm waiting for a while before I tell him
I agree! Take your time! Theres no time limit! Take it slow
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