Hated first year, anxious about second year. Any advice?

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 3 years ago
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First year of university was the worst year of my life so far. I'm not very outgoing, so I hated living with my flatmates, who were all very outgoing, drinking, loud, partying kind of people OR international students who I never spoke to. They'd also talk behind my back about how quiet and introverted I was, so they weren't fond of me either. They all ended up being great friends and I spent the entire year avoiding them.

I was too nervous to join societies after not getting on with my flatmates, I guess living with them kind of killed any enthusiasm for friend making I had. I also never made a single friend from my course, a made tons of acquaintances but they don't really count.

Also, a week into uni, I started having aching pains in my stomach and noticing a significant amount of blood when I went to the toilet. I thought it was a stomach virus, turns out it's inflammatory bowel disease and the symptoms got gradually worse throughout the year. I spend most of the year untreated and it took me 4 months to get an appointment with a specialist.

I stopped attending lectures after term 1 and instead spent that time procrastinating. I also spend a lot of time crying, about being lonely, the workload or the pain of my new, embarrassing, lifelong disease.

Now that I'm on long-term treatment for IBD I've tried to remain optimistic about second year, but as university gets closer I feel more and more anxious. I really don't want to be a shut-in like last year. Does anyone have any advice on how to either meet people like myself, become more outgoing or deal with having no friends at uni?
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mda2
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im not at ni but join societies!!
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Kayl666
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This is my second year as well I start tomorrow. Just hang in there. Hopefully youll make at least one friend from the halls youll be living in. Id have been just like u if it wasn't for the one friend i made in my halls as the other 3 were close and talked behind our backs. And I only met one friend in my course. Its all about luck tbh. U just haven't met anyone you have clicked with and im worried about going to my halls tomorrow cause I could end up with people youve had to put up with :/ but f*** it just dont go back to ur halls and try to go in smokers area like I do where people are out smoking and talk to em. Thats how I met a couple of acquaintances and got invited to a hall party. And loads of people say join a society like some people cba doing that sh** Good luck : D
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EnglishMuon
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Will be starting 2nd year soon too

I can relate to the first 2 paragraphs . Im sorry to hear about your condition. I think there are geniune, nice people in uni, even if they are a minority. You just have to go out and find them. Especially if they are introverted

I recommend just looking at the things you enjoy/do currently anyway, and try make them 'more public'. Perhaps through a society, or even just working in the presence of others or something. Or try something new!

That way i'm sure you will find someone you can relate too. some phrase about searching through **** to find something or other came to mind but can't recall it lol. but anyway, gl for the next year.
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BionicPinkyBear
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(Original post by Anonymous)
First year of university was the worst year of my life so far. I'm not very outgoing, so I hated living with my flatmates, who were all very outgoing, drinking, loud, partying kind of people OR international students who I never spoke to. They'd also talk behind my back about how quiet and introverted I was, so they weren't fond of me either. They all ended up being great friends and I spent the entire year avoiding them.

I was too nervous to join societies after not getting on with my flatmates, I guess living with them kind of killed any enthusiasm for friend making I had. I also never made a single friend from my course, a made tons of acquaintances but they don't really count.

Also, a week into uni, I started having aching pains in my stomach and noticing a significant amount of blood when I went to the toilet. I thought it was a stomach virus, turns out it's inflammatory bowel disease and the symptoms got gradually worse throughout the year. I spend most of the year untreated and it took me 4 months to get an appointment with a specialist.

I stopped attending lectures after term 1 and instead spent that time procrastinating. I also spend a lot of time crying, about being lonely, the workload or the pain of my new, embarrassing, lifelong disease.

Now that I'm on long-term treatment for IBD I've tried to remain optimistic about second year, but as university gets closer I feel more and more anxious. I really don't want to be a shut-in like last year. Does anyone have any advice on how to either meet people like myself, become more outgoing or deal with having no friends at uni?




I understand your situation i was in the same position with my flatmates and i too was too afraid of joining societies in my first year - i did make some friends but they turned out to be horrible and i was left by myself again. I have IBS so i also understand about the embarrasing medical issue to a certain degree, my first year i too didnt attend the lectures but i did go to my workshops as they were smaller and therefore made me less anxious and the teachers were nice too.

Im hoping to make friends my second year by joining societies, im terrified of coming across my ex friends and the humiliation they make me feel but im pushing that to the side because i know how bad it is to feel lonely and dont want that to happen my second year.

My medical condition is embarrasing and a pain but i notified the disability group at uni and had them tell all my teachers - its a nice reassurance to have that they will undersatnd if you ever need to leave your lessons - not that you cant aanyways (here at least) but its a good way to motivate me into attending if you get me

What uni do you go to by the way? And well feel free to message me about concerns i feel like we are in a similar boat per se so it would be nice to have a friend that undersatnds more than most about my situation I hope this post can be of some help to you
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drippyspafff
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(Original post by Anonymous)
First year of university was the worst year of my life so far. I'm not very outgoing, so I hated living with my flatmates, who were all very outgoing, drinking, loud, partying kind of people OR international students who I never spoke to. They'd also talk behind my back about how quiet and introverted I was, so they weren't fond of me either. They all ended up being great friends and I spent the entire year avoiding them.

I was too nervous to join societies after not getting on with my flatmates, I guess living with them kind of killed any enthusiasm for friend making I had. I also never made a single friend from my course, a made tons of acquaintances but they don't really count.

Also, a week into uni, I started having aching pains in my stomach and noticing a significant amount of blood when I went to the toilet. I thought it was a stomach virus, turns out it's inflammatory bowel disease and the symptoms got gradually worse throughout the year. I spend most of the year untreated and it took me 4 months to get an appointment with a specialist.

I stopped attending lectures after term 1 and instead spent that time procrastinating. I also spend a lot of time crying, about being lonely, the workload or the pain of my new, embarrassing, lifelong disease.

Now that I'm on long-term treatment for IBD I've tried to remain optimistic about second year, but as university gets closer I feel more and more anxious. I really don't want to be a shut-in like last year. Does anyone have any advice on how to either meet people like myself, become more outgoing or deal with having no friends at uni?
go outside and find someone else introverted at a chess club or something.
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balegdeh
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Me too ! Check out this blog post about the support you can receive at Uni whilst having IBD. https://crohnsandme.blog/
Hope you're on your way to remission.
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