Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Hi, I'm a Christian and I'm in love with a Muslim man who is 20, I'm 17. We've known each other since high school but over the last 6 months or so I've really fallen for him.

    Nothing has happened between us or anything and he is pretty religious which I respect very much and I expressed my feelings for him on facebook and he basically said he feels the same way but he cannot marry me unless I convert to Islam.

    I know a fair bit about Islam because it was he who got me interested in it but I'm not sure if I want to convert or not, it's a life changing decision. I do kinda believe in Islam but I'm just not sure what to do right now... I showed him evidence that Muslim men can marry women of the book (Christians and Jews) with the intention that they convert later on after the marriage, he told me he was aware of that but his father will never permit it.

    Basically if I'm not a Muslim it's a no go He's told me he will take care of me financially and that I can live in his parents house, he goes to uni but lives at home. He has a pretty big house so there would be plenty of room etc.

    He is honestly such a lovely man and I really want to be in a relationship with him and he isn't like ultra religious were he wouldn't allow me to leave the house, tell me to wear the niqab or not want me to get a job etc so I really think it could work.

    I just don't know what to do, I don't want to make the decision lightly, I've not told my parents and I'm unsure how they might react :/ They will probably be ok with it but obviously prefer that I didn't marry him.

    What do I do?!!

    edit - Making it nice and big so people can read it. The problem is not with him, it's his fathers objection to it.
    • #1
    #1

    No way, this man is probably a paedophile, you're underage. Plus, you've only known him for 6 months, I couldn't tell my boyfriend that I loved him within a year.

    You're young, focus on getthing good grades and having a future. As patronising as this sounds, this is probably a teenage romance. If he can't accept you for You, then there's no point. You shouldn't covert a religion you don't believe in either, personally as a Muslim myself, it's almost disrespectful. Keep dating him and see how long it lasts. Go to university and grow up into an adult and them see if marriage is something you want. Remember you've known him for 6 months, marriage is for the rest of your life.
    • #2
    #2

    Muslim men are allowed to marry non Muslim women if they desire. So, I'm not sure if you're just lying or he isn't that religious as you say because he would know that he can
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No way, this man is probably a paedophile, you're underage. Plus, you've only known him for 6 months, I couldn't tell my boyfriend that I loved him within a year.

    You're young, focus on getthing good grades and having a future. As patronising as this sounds, this is probably a teenage romance. If he can't accept you for You, then there's no point. You shouldn't covert a religion you don't believe in either, personally as a Muslim myself, it's almost disrespectful. Keep dating him and see how long it lasts. Go to university and grow up into an adult and them see if marriage is something you want. Remember you've known him for 6 months, marriage is for the rest of your life.
    A paedophile?! He is just 3 years older than me and I'm not underage, I am 17... Secondly I have known him since I was in year 8, we went to the same high school and have been friends since. I know him very well and he is kind hearted and one of the nicest men I know.

    He has never once tried to come onto me or do anything like that and he does not even flirt because he respects his religion. I just said the last 6 months is when I really started falling for him.

    He wouldn't have a problem with me going to university and getting a job and growing up as you put it, he would actually support me doing those things. I can do both?
    • #3
    #3

    how's that make him a paedophile? I know plenty of people who have an age difference of 3-6 years who are in their 20's/30's.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No way, this man is probably a paedophile, you're underage. Plus, you've only known him for 6 months, I couldn't tell my boyfriend that I loved him within a year.

    You're young, focus on getthing good grades and having a future. As patronising as this sounds, this is probably a teenage romance. If he can't accept you for You, then there's no point. You shouldn't covert a religion you don't believe in either, personally as a Muslim myself, it's almost disrespectful. Keep dating him and see how long it lasts. Go to university and grow up into an adult and them see if marriage is something you want. Remember you've known him for 6 months, marriage is for the rest of your life.
    Anyways, Do what you feel that is right, the thing I'd be focusing on is if you're convinced on practising out being a muslim, Don't change who you are for another person, if you're changing religions just for him, but without the intention of practising it, theres no point
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    Don't do it.
    IF he loves you ask him if would convert to your religion. He won't and yet he expects you to sacrifice your beliefs for him!
    He loves his religion more than he loves you.
    • #4
    #4

    I am an Atheist for your info so take my advice with a pinch of salt.

    Don't bloody convert! Honestly, there will be someone else out there for you that won't insist on you being the same religion for a relationship to happen. Just wait for the next dude to come along Forgive me if I am wrong, but 90% of the time it is expected for the female in a Muslim relationship is expected to ware a niqab or related - I could be totally wrong though
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Muslim men are allowed to marry non Muslim women if they desire. So, I'm not sure if you're just lying or he isn't that religious as you say because he would know that he can
    It's his father that would not permit him to marry a Christian... I know its allowed in Islam but he has much respect for his fathers wishes. Please read my first post properly.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    You shouldn't have to compromise your own religious beliefs for someone who apparently loves you. As people have said above, you're only 17, you're meant to be doing stupid teenage stuff Not making such a life altering decision for someone you've known for 5 years max (assuming you met at the beginning of High School).
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    Anon 2 is correct. There's nothing religious to stop Muslim men from being in a relationship with or marrying a Christian woman. It's rather more controversial if you're a Muslim woman looking to marry a Christian man.

    So in short you don't need to convert. As you've pointed out - it's his father who doesn't want him to marry a non-Muslim woman. Also be wary that his father/family may also be keen for any potential wife to come from a particular cultural background. Obviously not all families are the same, but it's quite common in some cultural groups.

    Personally I'd think very carefully before taking such a life-changing step. People may not react brilliantly - and you're clearly concerned about how your own family will react. It's not a decision to be taken lightly. Good luck.
    • #5
    #5

    No.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    • #6
    #6

    You can get married in a Register Office (In the UK). I don't think you'll have to convert if you do that (unless he wants you to convert for some reason). It wont be a flashy wedding but you'll be married. Also why can't he convert to Christianity if you are a Christian, why do you have to become a member of the Islam faith? There are ways around the situation you are in, but don't just throw away your values and beliefs for some "love".
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    No, and since you're a Christian you should realise that we should never compromise our religion to appease other sinners. The fact that you're willing to give up on faith in Jesus, the one who suffered and died for your salvation, just to pursue worldly desires is worrying.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Give it a month and you'll probably be an ISIS bride in Syria. I'd cut it off now whilst you have the chance.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    No, don't do it.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mqmqmqp)
    Give it a month and you'll probably be an ISIS bride in Syria. I'd cut it off now whilst you have the chance.
    :yes::yep:
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Trell.
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by tea n biscuits)
    Hi, I'm a Christian and I'm in love with a Muslim man who is 20, I'm 17. We've known each other since high school but over the last 6 months or so I've really fallen for him.

    Nothing has happened between us or anything and he is pretty religious which I respect very much and I expressed my feelings for him on facebook and he basically said he feels the same way but he cannot marry me unless I convert to Islam.

    I know a fair bit about Islam because it was he who got me interested in it but I'm not sure if I want to convert or not, it's a life changing decision. I do kinda believe in Islam but I'm just not sure what to do right now... I showed him evidence that Muslim men can marry women of the book (Christians and Jews) with the intention that they convert later on after the marriage, he told me he was aware of that but his father will never permit it.

    Basically if I'm not a Muslim it's a no go He's told me he will take care of me financially and that I can live in his parents house, he goes to uni but lives at home. He has a pretty big house so there would be plenty of room etc.

    He is honestly such a lovely man and I really want to be in a relationship with him and he isn't like ultra religious were he wouldn't allow me to leave the house, tell me to wear the niqab or not want me to get a job etc so I really think it could work.

    I just don't know what to do, I don't want to make the decision lightly, I've not told my parents and I'm unsure how they might react :/ They will probably be ok with it but obviously prefer that I didn't marry him.

    What do I do?!!

    edit - Making it nice and big so people can read it. The problem is not with him, it's his fathers objection to it.
    Lool **** that, he's 20 and ur 17..... I mean ur too young to be considering converting just to ****ing marry him. Also u don't fully believe in it so it would be weird converting to a Muslim. Also I HIGHLY doubt ur parents would be okay with it 😂.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    top kek
    Online

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by tea n biscuits)
    Hi, I'm a Christian and I'm in love with a Muslim man who is 20, I'm 17. We've known each other since high school but over the last 6 months or so I've really fallen for him.

    Nothing has happened between us or anything and he is pretty religious which I respect very much and I expressed my feelings for him on facebook and he basically said he feels the same way but he cannot marry me unless I convert to Islam.

    I know a fair bit about Islam because it was he who got me interested in it but I'm not sure if I want to convert or not, it's a life changing decision. I do kinda believe in Islam but I'm just not sure what to do right now... I showed him evidence that Muslim men can marry women of the book (Christians and Jews) with the intention that they convert later on after the marriage, he told me he was aware of that but his father will never permit it.

    Basically if I'm not a Muslim it's a no go He's told me he will take care of me financially and that I can live in his parents house, he goes to uni but lives at home. He has a pretty big house so there would be plenty of room etc.

    He is honestly such a lovely man and I really want to be in a relationship with him and he isn't like ultra religious were he wouldn't allow me to leave the house, tell me to wear the niqab or not want me to get a job etc so I really think it could work.

    I just don't know what to do, I don't want to make the decision lightly, I've not told my parents and I'm unsure how they might react :/ They will probably be ok with it but obviously prefer that I didn't marry him.

    What do I do?!!

    edit - Making it nice and big so people can read it. The problem is not with him, it's his fathers objection to it.
    you should convert to Islam if (and only if) you sincerely believe it is the one and only true religion

    in any case, if your boyfriend is not capable of resisting his family's pressure, it does not bode well for the future

    best
 
 
 
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: September 21, 2017
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Have you ever participated in a Secret Santa?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.