Mother or fiancé

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sanyaah_
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Report Thread starter 3 years ago
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Hey guys back with an issue and needs some advice : no stupid advices
So I'm going to type the story long and short those who cba reading can skip this part and go to the situation or go ahead and read this next part .
Thank you all for your advice ❤️

Long story (intense)
So I met a guy on 20th may 2017 dated I asked him out not him , he just assumed an internet affair until it got serious straight 2 months later : I had issues during Ramadan read previous post and I got my phone taken of me which I currently found out that my mom and brother and rest family knew I was in a relationship but didn't want to raise the " marriage " question . So my family be longs to a rich family there are 3 types of Muslims : ( no offence )
1) religious - 5 times prayer and sticks to the rules
2) perfect lives - using British law and freedom but mostly likely to be spoilt brat
3) rich life + praying + live on reputation - reputation is key , strict , no say in things follow what your parents say

So my family is number 3 out of the list they live on what others think , say & do but won't receive no hate !
So on 25th July 2017 I got a marriage proposal from Pakistan ( back home ) which I declined for the following reasons :
1) married I'm still virgin
2) I'm 19 & student
3) I'm British
4) love marriage not arranged
So my mom decided to mention " I'll get her married to who I pick & she'll approve no matter what , however she already knew I was in a relationship she just wanted me to speak up ( not knowing this )
So 26th July 2017 , I ran away from home NCL-London -Paris , got hunted down from police as my family but in a missing file however I was 19 and I could do whatever I want they have no say I got caught at Dover whilst travelling declined there request of returning back home and carried on my 17 hour journey to Paris ,1 week later the guy I lived proposed I said yes and got a ring to my finger , following day my cousin & mom , brother arrive by contacting my phone company as Muslim you can't sleep together unless you follow Islamic law of marriage "nikkah" getting to the problem ,

Situation :
My parents are dis happy with the marriage & partner
My sister husband is jealous in which my mom excepted my fiancé to easily and he got rejected
Brother In law wants the same amount of gold , jewerly , land & money to be written when they got married
He's an illegal immigrant in France but holds a 3 months visa until December
I'm 19 student , no work
Family don't talk but called me back to England for the sake of reputation
Uk visa got rejected due to fianance and property and wrong application
Can't go to a lawyer as where I live my mother would receive information about who I have met even if it's a Christian lawyer
Can't travel alone without taking my mom
Family want me to divorce him
If I travel back to France , mom has filed in that my fiancé is a terrorist and was in Syria to get him deported & told the priest ( molvi ) not to give the Nikkah papers to us as the following reason ( she wasn't present to sign the contract and her wills weren't written
I can't get married legally in France due to the fact my mom won't give my long birth certificate & I can't get a CNI if she found out she would objection the marriage and get it cancelled

So now I'm england to make everything better but looks like my mom is turning her words which she said over the phone whilst I was packing to come to England While she was also communicating with my fiancé
I have no savings only 19 years old !
My family want me to work , get a house & call him over which will approx take 5-9 years
Or send him to Pakistan and earn over £21,000

I'm having problems with family not talking & giving me money and quitting study to find a job and calling him over and thinking of moving out but I won't be able to call him over !
Sorry about the grammar & advice needed 😩
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Tootles
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Report 3 years ago
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This post makes no sense.

If you don't want to be subject to the standard treatment provided by your culture/religion, leave. You can't have one part (the money) and not the other (having your partner chosen for you).

Being free of that means having to look after yourself.
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