Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Black work colleague accusing me of being racist Watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    I made a comment that I felt sympathy for someone I was working with (I work in healthcare). My work colleague asked why and I said because he needs support services but they all reject him because he has a criminal conviction for racial harassment. He'd called someone a racist term while in an argument.

    The work colleague said that he deserves it if he's racist etc.

    However I know this guy and he's got a mild learning disability and other disabilities. Also, I'm in no way saying what he did wasn't wrong but just that I feel some sympathy that he hasn't been able to get the support he needs.

    He's now blanking me and ignoring me in all interactions. He's told our manager who has said it sounds like I'm sympathising with a racist!

    I'm so shocked at this response as I really really didn't mean that. I don't have aspergers but im socially awkward and and sometimes don't say things perfectly. I've never been called racist before though!

    What would you do now and am I being unreasonable to consider this reaction a little over the top?
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    So many entitled whiny morons in this world, like your colleague.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    My manager said sometimes I'm cringe worthy but sometimes I struggle socially. I think it's really obvious when someone is actually and deliberately racist and socially awkward.
    Online

    14
    ReputationRep:
    No I think you aren't being racist.

    Spent criminal convinctions imply that the criminal has served their punishment and thus deserve equality and that means getting support if you need it as much as anyone else.

    I'm not suggesting a child abuser should be allowed to work with children, that's a different scenario, clearly. Just in case anyone was going to misunderstand me.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    They are aware this person has learning difficulties? If so as healthcare professionals they need to be less emotive and more clinical in their opinions.

    Sure the person you defended did somethibg awful and was punished for it, but for the life of me i don''t understand why people would rather people be perpetually punished rather than rehabilitated. Withdrawing social support from this person won't help anyone.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Sounds like this colleague and manager are being totally unprofessional. I'm sick of all the BS where certain people are looking for any excuse to shout "Racist".

    They may not like what he's done but if it's their job to look out for people who need support they should do it regardless of their personal feelings!
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    I too feel your colleague was overreacting (i'm black myself) I to would feel bad for the man your talking about. People make mistakes and say nasty things in an argument that they would never say to some one in day to day life. I think he should have gotten some support.

    Anyways about your colleague i'd just say pull him to the side and talk to him. Tell him how you feel and say that me feeling bad for someone who needs help is basically in my nature, (work in health) people make mistakes, yep even racist ones and still deserve a second chance. Let him know that him going to your manager, (without proof and before talking to you about it) and saying your racist is sooooooo rash and could of been detrimental for your career.

    Don't let him go around and spread rumours about you being racist, shut it down in a civilised way.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Thanks everyone. The boss has a black husband and likes this work colleague so maybe that's why she took his side.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mezza362)
    What would you do now and am I being unreasonable to consider this reaction a little over the top?
    The bottom line is black people and white people (and many other non-black people) don't think the same way about race, racism and what makes someone racist. So, the average white person is going to respond to this thread and situation as your colleague is unreasonable and all the other negative responses that are being given here, whereas a lot of other black people would view the situation more like your colleague does. [shrugs] Because of this, to just write your colleague off as unreasonable, whiny, unprofessional or whatever...you just have different opinions and mindsets on these types of issues because of vastly different life experiences, that's all. Trying to make this "who is right and who is wrong" is ignorant and invalidating. Just because every white and Asian person responds to this thread agreeing with/supporting you doesn't "prove" you're right. Frankly, I see where your colleague is coming from, but I am at a point where people defending/supporting/overlooking racists/racism doesn't surprise me at all, I don't expect people who aren't black to have the same response or outrage to racism towards people of color, and I would definitely not have gone to a manager about it.

    If it were me, if my job weren't on the line over it, I wouldn't be bothered about it. I don't understand why people get bent out of shape over being called a racist, especially if they truly know they're not. I always tend to think when this type of stuff bothers someone, it means the accuser hit a nerve and the truth is somewhere in what he/she said.
    • Community Assistant
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Community Assistant
    (Original post by Mezza362)
    Thanks everyone. The boss has a black husband and likes this work colleague so maybe that's why she took his side.
    Ok see now, this is why you're a racist. "They are married to a black man and likes this other black guy I work with so obviously they're going to side against sad old little white me QQ" is such a disgusting response to this.

    Any misguided sympathy one may have felt has evaporated at this point. Someone called you out on defending someone for being racist, you immediately reacted by playing the victim, and you point to others engaging in some kind of "racial collusion" against you.

    At no point have you said "I haven't actually thought about it from their point of view, I supposed given I know some contextual information about the individual that they didn't, I have a different perspective, but I can understand why someone who has probably experienced racism continually in their life would have no patience for someone they saw as defending racist actions". You just pull a "poor white person being persecuted by race card playing black people" and expect everyone to fall in line at your side.

    You defended a racist, then used racist logical fallacies and arguments to defend yourself instead of engaging with the racial issues at hand. If the former could have been forgiven with context, the latter can't.

    /thread
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by chicktion)
    The bottom line is black people and white people (and many other non-black people) don't think the same way about race, racism and what makes someone racist. So, the average white person is going to respond to this thread and situation as your colleague is unreasonable and all the other negative responses that are being given here, whereas a lot of other black people would view the situation more like your colleague does. [shrugs] Because of this, to just write your colleague off as unreasonable, whiny, unprofessional or whatever...you just have different opinions and mindsets on these types of issues because of vastly different life experiences, that's all. Trying to make this "who is right and who is wrong" is ignorant and invalidating. Just because every white and Asian person responds to this thread agreeing with/supporting you doesn't "prove" you're right. Frankly, I see where your colleague is coming from, but I am at a point where people defending/supporting/overlooking racists/racism doesn't surprise me at all, I don't expect people who aren't black to have the same response or outrage to racism towards people of color, and I would definitely not have gone to a manager about it.

    If it were me, if my job weren't on the line over it, I wouldn't be bothered about it. I don't understand why people get bent out of shape over being called a racist, especially if they truly know they're not. I always tend to think when this type of stuff bothers someone, it means the accuser hit a nerve and the truth is somewhere in what he/she said.
    Pretty much this
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by artful_lounger)
    Ok see now, this is why you're a racist. "They are married to a black man and likes this other black guy I work with so obviously they're going to side against sad old little white me QQ" is such a disgusting response to this
    Nice s*it-stirring with no factual statements at all. Why worry about the truth when you can just make it up!

    People like you are the cause of racist situations where there is no racism.
    • Community Assistant
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Community Assistant
    (Original post by nutz99)
    Nice s*it-stirring with no factual statements at all. Why worry about the truth when you can just make it up!

    People like you are the cause of racist situations where there is no racism.
    I'm sorry your education failed you, or that you're unable to get a better prescription for your glasses since you're obviously unable to see or comprehend the quoted text that was a response to.

    Was the OPs initial response racist? Debatable. Was their reaction to this and subsequent commentary racist? Yes. They literally stated they believed that due to the other individuals involved were either black or had black family members, they were prejudiced against them to begin with. Which is actually a prejudice on the OPs behalf, and not the others.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by artful_lounger)
    I'm sorry your education failed you, or that you're unable to get a better prescription for your glasses since you're obviously unable to see or comprehend the quoted text that was a response to.

    Was the OPs initial response racist? Debatable. Was their reaction to this and subsequent commentary racist? Yes. They literally stated they believed that due to the other individuals involved were either black or had black family members, they were prejudiced against them to begin with. Which is actually a prejudice on the OPs behalf, and not the others.
    Only an idiot or someone desperately trying to win an argument quotes something that was never actually said. If you can't understand the basic grasp of the English language then it's pretty pathetic on its own regardless of the inflammatory response you gave to someone who is only trying to do his job!

    You're s*it stirring. Plain and simple. If you can't see that then you need an education in life.
    • TSR Support Team
    • Very Important Poster
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    TSR Support Team
    Very Important Poster
    (Original post by Mezza362)
    I made a comment that I felt sympathy for someone I was working with (I work in healthcare). My work colleague asked why and I said because he needs support services but they all reject him because he has a criminal conviction for racial harassment. He'd called someone a racist term while in an argument.

    The work colleague said that he deserves it if he's racist etc.

    However I know this guy and he's got a mild learning disability and other disabilities. Also, I'm in no way saying what he did wasn't wrong but just that I feel some sympathy that he hasn't been able to get the support he needs.
    Which doesn't give him an excuse to be racist.
    • Community Assistant
    • Political Ambassador
    Online

    22
    ReputationRep:
    Community Assistant
    Political Ambassador
    My contribution is simply to say that the word racism is overused, and gets people far too angry.

    What constitutes racism and what doesn't is unclear, arguing about that is pointless, particularly if you're not thinking in a level-headed way.

    If someone takes offence at something, then the other person is at fault since they have been offensive. This is what we can agree. Speculating on anything outside of that is fruitless.
 
 
 
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Have you ever participated in a Secret Santa?
    Useful resources
    AtCTs

    Ask the Community Team

    Got a question about the site content or our moderation? Ask here.

    Welcome Lounge

    Welcome Lounge

    We're a friendly bunch. Post here if you're new to TSR.

    Groups associated with this forum:

    View associated groups
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.