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    I'm currently at college hoping to go to uni next year in Liverpool (100 miles away)
    I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 25. I have told him I want to go to uni and reassured him I'd stay at home and not live in uni accommidation.. However I really want to live there and experience uni life

    He wants me to stay home so I can see him..he owns a business and lives with his parents so he can't really move. He is also a stoner and gets super paranoid if I'm out with friends.
    He's a great boyfriend and we spark off each other.. we spend every day almost together.. (I'll be lucky if I get to see him once every two weeks at uni!)

    I just have no idea how to tell him I'm potentially moving away.. maybe i shouldn't tell him at all. I have no idea what to do
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    (Original post by Leila1997)
    I'm currently at college hoping to go to uni next year in Liverpool (100 miles away)
    I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 25. I have told him I want to go to uni and reassured him I'd stay at home and not live in uni accommidation.. However I really want to live there and experience uni life

    He wants me to stay home so I can see him..he owns a business and lives with his parents so he can't really move. He is also a stoner and gets super paranoid if I'm out with friends.
    He's a great boyfriend and we spark off each other.. we spend every day almost together.. (I'll be lucky if I get to see him once every two weeks at uni!)

    I just have no idea how to tell him I'm potentially moving away.. maybe i shouldn't tell him at all. I have no idea what to do
    Just tell it to him face to face, because if you keep this a secret and go, then you've already lost his sense of trust for you.

    Recommended Actions:
    - take uni accommodation after telling your bf and getting his approval
    - don't take uni accommodation and stay home with your bf hence increasing his love for you
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    He's really not a great boyfriend, sorry, if he is 25 years old and thinks like this.

    Of course anyone would have *some* qualms about the potential impact on the relationship, even if the other feelings were (as they should be) overwhelmingly positive. But he is already showing signs of controlling behaviour. (How happy is he really with his current life if he's a stoner?)

    He may just need telling where to get off with his ideas, and he'll pull himself together and see that relationships are not all about what is easy for him, and you'll be doing him a huge favour long term, whether you stay together forever or you don't.. .but otherwise, you may be looking at a very good way to get out of a relationship that isn't good for you.
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    (Original post by Jang Gwangnam)
    Just tell it to him face to face, because if you keep this a secret and go, then you've already lost his sense of trust for you.

    Recommended Actions:
    - take uni accommodation after telling your bf and getting his approval
    - don't take uni accommodation and stay home with your bf hence increasing his love for you
    Ahhh I'd be so nervous telling him face to face. I think he would just break up with me there and then! Thanks tho
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    If you want to live in halls and get he university experience, you have to do it! You'll feel like you missed out otherwise. Tell him, if you break up, probably not the end of the world considering he's 25 and acting as he is.

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    Leila, if you want to leave me it's ok. I understand xxxx.
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    I'd appreciate real help. Thanks.
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    (Original post by Leila1997)
    I'd appreciate real help. Thanks.
    It is real help - people are either going to tell you to keep this information from your boyfriend, leading you to breaking up later in the year, telling you to tell him now to prevent breaking trust and just because that's the decent thing to do, and advising you that a 25 year old who has his own business should know you have to do what will be best for your life - him emotionally forcing you to stay at home isn't going to be the best thing. If you want to stay at home, go for it. If you want to move, go for it. How long have you been together?

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    Long distance relationships do work (I'm in one - only see my other half once every couple of months... they go to a uni in a different country), in all honesty, if a relationship is meant to work out, it will. One's partner needs to understand the other, even down to decisions, if it's a decision he doesn't agree with and wants to break up with you over it, he's not the one. Find the one who understands you and supports you in what you want. Your decision is reasonable, I don't see why someone would disrespect that if they truly cared. I know this may be hard - breakups are horrible and even the thought of losing someone so close to you is devastating, but just keep remembering that pot holes in life can be covered up, things can get better
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    [QUOTE=fxlloutboyy;73867654]It is real help - people are either going to tell you to keep this information from your boyfriend, leading you to breaking up later in the year, telling you to tell him now to prevent breaking trust and just because that's the decent thing to do, and advising you that a 25 year old who has his own business should know you have to do what will be best for your life - him emotionally forcing you to stay at home isn't going to be the best thing. If you want to stay at home, go for it. If you want to move, go for it. How long have you been together?

    I was referring to the guy who posted after you pretending to be my boyfriend haha
    Yeah I definitely agree that I should tell him as soon as possible.
    I really don't want to tell him face to face because I think he will just kick off, and break up with me.
    We've been together just over two years now. I really do want to move but it won't be till next September.. providing I get in to uni of course. ☺️
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    (Original post by tea hee)
    Long distance relationships do work (I'm in one - only see my other half once every couple of months... they go to a uni in a different country), in all honesty, if a relationship is meant to work out, it will. One's partner needs to understand the other, even down to decisions, if it's a decision he doesn't agree with and wants to break up with you over it, he's not the one. Find the one who understands you and supports you in what you want. Your decision is reasonable, I don't see why someone would disrespect that if they truly cared. I know this may be hard - breakups are horrible and even the thought of losing someone so close to you is devastating, but just keep remembering that pot holes in life can be covered up, things can get better
    Thank you so much. It must be very difficult being in a long distance relationship. How long have you guys been together?
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    Two and a half years, but to be honest, I feel as though we have a strong bond because of being so far away... we make the most of the time we do get to spend with each other because of how little we get to see the other. We even write letters to - this makes being able to talk even more sentimental
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    (Original post by tea hee)
    Two and a half years, but to be honest, I feel as though we have a strong bond because of being so far away... we make the most of the time we do get to spend with each other because of how little we get to see the other. We even write letters to - this makes being able to talk even more sentimental
    A strong bond because of the distance? Pull the other one
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    Op- most long distance relationships fail, but then equally most 18yr olds relationships fail. Do you want to have missed out on potentially life changing experience just to be with someone who most likely will not be your partner in 10 years anyway?
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    (Original post by tea hee)
    Two and a half years, but to be honest, I feel as though we have a strong bond because of being so far away... we make the most of the time we do get to spend with each other because of how little we get to see the other. We even write letters to - this makes being able to talk even more sentimental
    Thats really amazing, Its rare you find a relationship so strong! I guess there is a strong band of trust between you both. I should take a leaf out of your book!
    Makes me question my own relationship.
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    Tbh if you feel like he would break up with you, your relationship can't be secure or as loving as you think.
    I have been with my boyfriend for four years next month and I know he wouldn't break up with me.

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    (Original post by Ezisola)
    A strong bond because of the distance? Pull the other one
    Just my opinion. There's always something good hiding behind something tricky - this is my way of finding something wonderful with a long distance relationship
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    (Original post by Ezisola)
    Op- most long distance relationships fail, but then equally most 18yr olds relationships fail. Do you want to have missed out on potentially life changing experience just to be with someone who most likely will not be your partner in 10 years anyway?
    I definitely don't want to miss out on my education. I don't want to hurt his feelings either. Its very difficult for me to tell him... I feel he'll just dump me when I say I'll be moving away..
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    (Original post by Leila1997)
    I definitely don't want to miss out on my education. I don't want to hurt his feelings either. Its very difficult for me to tell him... I feel he'll just dump me when I say I'll be moving away..
    Then he's doing you the favour of ending it quickly. If he would dump you over this then he isn't the right guy for you anyway.
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    He sounds like a controlling and unstable tw%t. Why are you with him?
 
 
 
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