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How to get my boyfriend's ex to back off? Watch

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    I've been with my boyfriend for quite a while now but until recently I didn't know he was in contact with his ex girlfriend. He says he hardly talks to her now but she is always sending him messages on his phone. They also seem to be flirty messages and she is always running to him when she is upset about something. He has rejected her advances but she isn't backing off. I

    just want this stupid girl to go away and find someone else to harass. My boyfriend is too nice to be mean to her because she told him a bunch of BS about how she has social anxiety (she really doesn't. She is ****ing lying). So how do I get her to bugger off?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been with my boyfriend for quite a while now but until recently I didn't know he was in contact with his ex girlfriend. He says he hardly talks to her now but she is always sending him messages on his phone. They also seem to be flirty messages and she is always running to him when she is upset about something. He has rejected her advances but she isn't backing off. I

    just want this stupid girl to go away and find someone else to harass. My boyfriend is too nice to be mean to her because she told him a bunch of BS about how she has social anxiety (she really doesn't. She is ****ing lying). So how do I get her to bugger off?
    This girl clearly has some feelings for your boyfriend. You need to be more firm and tell your boyfriend that you are not comfortable with his ex messaging him this way. You have a right to say this as his girlfriend. Don't be a doormat otherwise this girl will carry on flirting with him.
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    This is my story, literally. It bothers me so much but I trust my boyfriend enough to know he wouldn't do anything to hurt me. I really wish she would piss off, I know she regrets breaking up with him but she needs to understand he's moved on.
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    (Original post by phunky_fresh)
    This is my story, literally. It bothers me so much but I trust my boyfriend enough to know he wouldn't do anything to hurt me. I really wish she would piss off, I know she regrets breaking up with him but she needs to understand he's moved on.
    Your boyfriend hasn’t moved on.

    She still has control over him. You shouldn’t have to tell his ex to back off. That’s his priority.

    If she messages him, he clearly responds. If he didn’t, she would have got bored and stopped.
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    (Original post by Ishax)
    Your boyfriend hasn’t moved on.

    She still has control over him. You shouldn’t have to tell his ex to back off. That’s his priority.

    If she messages him, he clearly responds. If he didn’t, she would have got bored and stopped.
    Lool I wouldn't tell her to back off, I already know he's told her how happy he is when she was trying to find out about his love life. He just doesn't seem to like to make enemies with people and he's quite fickle, alot of men seem to stay friends with their ex's and see no harm. I wouldn't have any issues with her if I didn't know what I know. Of course he replies to her messages, I didn't say he didn't. He told me they were in contact ages ago.
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    (Original post by phunky_fresh)
    Lool I wouldn't tell her to back off, I already know he's told her how happy he is when she was trying to find out about his love life. He just doesn't seem to like to make enemies with people and he's quite fickle, alot of men seem to stay friends with their ex's and see no harm. I wouldn't have any issues with her if I didn't know what I know. Of course he replies to her messages, I didn't say he didn't. He told me they were in contact ages ago.
    That’s the biggest red flag, friends with his ex girlfriend.

    Majority of people don’t stay friends with their ex’s.

    How long have you been with him?
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    (Original post by Ishax)
    That’s the biggest red flag, friends with his ex girlfriend.

    Majority of people don’t stay friends with their ex’s.

    How long have you been with him?
    Not really. If you didn't end of bad terms, I don't see any harm in it. It's just when someone has an ulterior motive it's a problem.
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    (Original post by Ishax)
    That’s the biggest red flag, friends with his ex girlfriend.
    How paranoid do you have to be to believe this?
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    He's obviously encouraging her. Bet he's loving it

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    (Original post by phunky_fresh)
    Not really. If you didn't end of bad terms, I don't see any harm in it. It's just when someone has an ulterior motive it's a problem.
    Then, to use your words and I quote “bothers me so much”. Surely, if they’re just friends it shouldn’t bother you so much?
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    (Original post by _gcx)
    How paranoid do you have to be to believe this?
    What’s the point in staying friends with an ex? Unless, you have children together.
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    Your boyfriend is being "too nice" because he has feelings for her still. If he only cared about you and was done with her, he'd have no difficulties in blocking her off everything. I had an ex that was "too nice" to just block a girl from messaging him all the time, and it turned out they were messaging each other sexually behind my back and he was lying about not talking to her; he had been talking to her regularly.

    Ask yourself what you would do if it was the other way around; your ex messaging you all the time and flirting with you. I'm sure you would happily block him if it bothered your boyfriend who you care so much about. I personally would not have an issue with blocking an ex I had no feelings for if it meant saving my current relationship.

    The only way to get her to back off is through your boyfriend and if he doesn't take a stand for the sake of you and your relationship, then that says it all.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been with my boyfriend for quite a while now but until recently I didn't know he was in contact with his ex girlfriend. He says he hardly talks to her now but she is always sending him messages on his phone. They also seem to be flirty messages and she is always running to him when she is upset about something. He has rejected her advances but she isn't backing off. I

    just want this stupid girl to go away and find someone else to harass. My boyfriend is too nice to be mean to her because she told him a bunch of BS about how she has social anxiety (she really doesn't. She is ****ing lying). So how do I get her to bugger off?
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    (Original post by Ishax)
    Then, to use your words and I quote “bothers me so much”. Surely, if they’re just friends it shouldn’t bother you so much?
    I already said why it bothered me.
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    Your boyfriend just opened a happy meal.
    He gets the food (you the gf)
    And he gets the toy (his ex)
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    (Original post by phunky_fresh)
    I already said why it bothered me.
    No, you didn’t.
 
 
 
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