Only one in my halls not going out tonight :/
My social anxiety has got the best of me and I'm the only one in my halls not going out clubbing tonight. I don't like going out anyway but I feel really angry at myself, even though I know I'd hate being out! What can I do? It's my first night at uni so I haven't made any friends either.
(edited 6 years ago)
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(edited 6 years ago)
I dunno if you're partial to schadenfreude but when I was in first year I wasn't even close to in the loop enough to know who was going out. In fact, I don't know the name of anybody who was in my flat, and I only ever did anything with them once that I recall (some in flat drinking games). I didn't go out at all during fresher's. So you can always be a bigger social screw-up lol. But anyway, there's no need to go out if you don't want to, and if you're having trouble connecting with people in your halls because they're all the party sorts then you could try meeting people in societies.
Original post by 1 8 13 20 42
I dunno if you're partial to schadenfreude but when I was in first year I wasn't even close to in the loop enough to know who was going out. In fact, I don't know the name of anybody who was in my flat, and I only ever did anything with them once that I recall (some in flat drinking games). I didn't go out at all during fresher's. So you can always be a bigger social screw-up lol. But anyway, there's no need to go out if you don't want to, and if you're having trouble connecting with people in your halls because they're all the party sorts then you could try meeting people in societies.
Thanks! I guess I'll have a go at making friends in some societies.
Original post by nerules
What uni are you in? I’m in Chester uni and all my new flatmates have just gone out... without me. They all know eachother from Facebook so I’m kinda out of the loop. I don’t have any friends either even though it’s only my second night, I’m feeling super nervous.. hopefully I’ll meet someone in the societies
I'm at Liverpool Hope unfortunately. Though it's sort of nice to know I'm not the only one
Original post by Octoberly
My social anxiety has got the best of me and I'm the only one in my halls not going out clubbing tonight. I don't like going out anyway but I feel really angry at myself, even though I know I'd hate being out! What can I do? It's my first night at uni so I haven't made any friends either.
I think its ok to skip clubbing, but do try and o out for a rink (coke) or food with flatmates. make the best of it and watch a film or wander the hall and see if there are other people who havent one out and have some food with them? You wont be the only one that hasnt one clubbing. You must have envisaged this happening whilst waiting to start?
You need to be sociable in your first week or you will end up alienating yourself from people. Do your best.
Original post by nerules
Same lol, everyone I've seen around here seems to be really outgoing. I've just kinda been holed up in my room the whole weekend. I've begged my sister to come to visit so that I can at least walk around freshers with someone else haha. I put up a post on tsr asking to meet other fellow introverts in Chester uni, maybe you can try that too?
Yeah, thanks for the idea! I hope you find fellow introverts at your uni too ☺️
As above, try to prevent alienating yourself from people. Maybe ask your flatmates if they'd like to go out for a cheap pub lunch or dinner tomorrow. Get to know them.
Social anxiety is hard, I know because I've been there. I struggled a lot in my first year. But I never would have overcome it if I didn't keep trying and putting myself in uncomfortable positions so I would eventually no longer find them debilitating.
Social anxiety is hard, I know because I've been there. I struggled a lot in my first year. But I never would have overcome it if I didn't keep trying and putting myself in uncomfortable positions so I would eventually no longer find them debilitating.
Original post by Octoberly
My social anxiety has got the best of me and I'm the only one in my halls not going out clubbing tonight. I don't like going out anyway but I feel really angry at myself, even though I know I'd hate being out! What can I do? It's my first night at uni so I haven't made any friends either.
Don't worry. Use the night as time to settle in (I assume it is your first day?) and plan what to do tomorrow. It is only one out of many many nights!
Me and my flatmates just stayed in the kitchen and watched some Netflix, i'm positive not everybody is going out.
Original post by Octoberly
My social anxiety has got the best of me and I'm the only one in my halls not going out clubbing tonight. I don't like going out anyway but I feel really angry at myself, even though I know I'd hate being out! What can I do? It's my first night at uni so I haven't made any friends either.
You just got to suck it up this time the first night out with your hall is a way to bond I know it doesn't seem like it but socially speaking it is the most important night of the year.
If you don't feel like going clubbing, or if don't feel it's your kind of thing then that's fair enough. Some people love hitting the bars and the dance floor and find it's a great way to meet new people and make friends, while others hate all the noise of clubbing and the drunk people, and prefer to make friends on their course or by joining a club or a society. When I was at uni I really feel I wasted a lot of money and time (especially money) going clubbing because it was never really my thing, I just seemed to tag along because I thought it was the cool thing to do. If I could go back I would have done a lot less clubbing and a lot more studying and joined more societies.
Original post by Octoberly
My social anxiety has got the best of me and I'm the only one in my halls not going out clubbing tonight. I don't like going out anyway but I feel really angry at myself, even though I know I'd hate being out! What can I do? It's my first night at uni so I haven't made any friends either.
Hi Octoberly,
Please don't feel angry at yourself, and please don't worry about making all of your friends in the first couple of days - there is still plenty of time to meet lots of different people
We've DM'd you with some tips and some info about what is on this week that may be of use Our Resident Tutors are also a fountain of knowledge about what is going on on campus, and where you can meet people without having to go out clubbing. Hope that helps,
Andrea
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