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My boyfriend keeps calling me a slut and bringing up my past

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(edited 6 years ago)

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Dump him. He's only gonna get worse.
This sounds a lot like an abusive relationship. You will be better off without him, no matter how nice he can seem sometimes.
Original post by Angel1997x
So me and my bf have been together for a year now but about 3 months into the relationship he found out about my past because I was too ashamed to tell him and I just wanted to forget it but I went through a bad time when I was 18 while my parents were splitting up and I didn’t take it well so I started going out partying taking drugs and drinking and letting people take advantage of me even though I didn’t actually want to sleep with them. Turns out my boyfriend knew a few of the people because it was in the same kinda area but since he found out literally every time we have an argument he calls me a ho, ****, slut, dirtbag, scumbag - literally every bad name you could call someone. When I met him I thought I’d finally found someone who genuinely cares about me because he can be really nice but when we argue he brings up my past and makes me feel so small and guilty about myself and I’m trying to forget my past because since I met him I regret all my party girl behaviour and I stopped. He can go for a few days without talking to me after an argument and I just wait for him to call or come over and he will come and apologise and I’ll stupidly forgive him because I love him but deep down I know he mentally abuses and slut shames me. I say to him if you found out about all this why didn’t you just leave me and why do you still choose to have sex with me if you think I’m such a slut but he always avoids the question. He also thinks I’m cheating on him even though I don’t speak to any other boys and I don’t have any friends and I hardly ever leave the house. But when he phones me and I don’t pick up for whatever reason he will leave me abusive messages accusing me of cheating. This isn’t an easy situation for me to get out of because I love him and I live in my own place and I don’t really speak to my parents only my mum but I couldn’t go and live with her as one of my sisters already lives with her and her house isn’t that big. He lives a couple of roads away but I’ve never met his family because he’s Asian and I’m white and they wouldn’t approve of me...YET. I really don’t know what to do because even a year down the line he’s still nasty and abusive and I don’t think it will ever change because I’ve only ever stood up to him once and he went absolutely nuts and started trashing the place and I didn’t hear from him for 4 days. There’s not really anyone else I can speak to about this which is why I posted because I wondered if anyone else was in a similar situation. Another thing is that he smokes weed and I know that makes him paranoid that I’m cheating.

there's a lot of big red flags here, you deserve much better, please consider getting yourself out of this situation.
Original post by Angel1997x
So me and my bf have been together for a year now but about 3 months into the relationship he found out about my past because I was too ashamed to tell him and I just wanted to forget it but I went through a bad time when I was 18 while my parents were splitting up and I didn’t take it well so I started going out partying taking drugs and drinking and letting people take advantage of me even though I didn’t actually want to sleep with them. Turns out my boyfriend knew a few of the people because it was in the same kinda area but since he found out literally every time we have an argument he calls me a ho, ****, slut, dirtbag, scumbag - literally every bad name you could call someone. When I met him I thought I’d finally found someone who genuinely cares about me because he can be really nice but when we argue he brings up my past and makes me feel so small and guilty about myself and I’m trying to forget my past because since I met him I regret all my party girl behaviour and I stopped. He can go for a few days without talking to me after an argument and I just wait for him to call or come over and he will come and apologise and I’ll stupidly forgive him because I love him but deep down I know he mentally abuses and slut shames me. I say to him if you found out about all this why didn’t you just leave me and why do you still choose to have sex with me if you think I’m such a slut but he always avoids the question. He also thinks I’m cheating on him even though I don’t speak to any other boys and I don’t have any friends and I hardly ever leave the house. But when he phones me and I don’t pick up for whatever reason he will leave me abusive messages accusing me of cheating. This isn’t an easy situation for me to get out of because I love him and I live in my own place and I don’t really speak to my parents only my mum but I couldn’t go and live with her as one of my sisters already lives with her and her house isn’t that big. He lives a couple of roads away but I’ve never met his family because he’s Asian and I’m white and they wouldn’t approve of me...YET. I really don’t know what to do because even a year down the line he’s still nasty and abusive and I don’t think it will ever change because I’ve only ever stood up to him once and he went absolutely nuts and started trashing the place and I didn’t hear from him for 4 days. There’s not really anyone else I can speak to about this which is why I posted because I wondered if anyone else was in a similar situation. Another thing is that he smokes weed and I know that makes him paranoid that I’m cheating.


dump this guy, and learn to paragraph
I feel like I should be more pragmatic than this but please please please get rid of him. He's projecting his issues and insecurities onto you and punishing you for it. You've expressed how you wish to move on from the time when you were in a bad place and he just keeps putting you right back there-you don't need that. I know it's difficult when you're attached to someone, you're used to someone but this isn't a positive relationship and it'll likely get no better so I think you should cut ties. Good luck !
Man ain't reading all that
Put some paragraphs in that mess
Get out now - this story won't have a happy ending. You can do so much better.
Original post by Angel1997x
So me and my bf have been together for a year now but about 3 months into the relationship he found out about my past because I was too ashamed to tell him and I just wanted to forget it but I went through a bad time when I was 18 while my parents were splitting up and I didn’t take it well so I started going out partying taking drugs and drinking and letting people take advantage of me even though I didn’t actually want to sleep with them.

Turns out my boyfriend knew a few of the people because it was in the same kinda area but since he found out literally every time we have an argument he calls me a ho, ****, slut, dirtbag, scumbag - literally every bad name you could call someone. When I met him I thought I’d finally found someone who genuinely cares about me because he can be really nice but when we argue he brings up my past and makes me feel so small and guilty about myself and I’m trying to forget my past because since I met him I regret all my party girl behaviour and I stopped. He can go for a few days without talking to me after an argument and I just wait for him to call or come over and he will come and apologise and I’ll stupidly forgive him because I love him but deep down I know he mentally abuses and slut shames me.

I say to him if you found out about all this why didn’t you just leave me and why do you still choose to have sex with me if you think I’m such a slut but he always avoids the question. He also thinks I’m cheating on him even though I don’t speak to any other boys and I don’t have any friends and I hardly ever leave the house. But when he phones me and I don’t pick up for whatever reason he will leave me abusive messages accusing me of cheating. This isn’t an easy situation for me to get out of because I love him and I live in my own place and I don’t really speak to my parents only my mum but I couldn’t go and live with her as one of my sisters already lives with her and her house isn’t that big.

He lives a couple of roads away but I’ve never met his family because he’s Asian and I’m white and they wouldn’t approve of me...YET. I really don’t know what to do because even a year down the line he’s still nasty and abusive and I don’t think it will ever change because I’ve only ever stood up to him once and he went absolutely nuts and started trashing the place and I didn’t hear from him for 4 days.

There’s not really anyone else I can speak to about this which is why I posted because I wondered if anyone else was in a similar situation. Another thing is that he smokes weed and I know that makes him paranoid that I’m cheating.


You're welcome
leave him, you can do better
Reply 10
Original post by Angel1997x
So me and my bf have been together for a year now but about 3 months into the relationship he found out about my past because I was too ashamed to tell him and I just wanted to forget it but I went through a bad time when I was 18 while my parents were splitting up and I didn’t take it well so I started going out partying taking drugs and drinking and letting people take advantage of me even though I didn’t actually want to sleep with them.

Turns out my boyfriend knew a few of the people because it was in the same kinda area but since he found out literally every time we have an argument he calls me a ho, ****, slut, dirtbag, scumbag - literally every bad name you could call someone. When I met him I thought I’d finally found someone who genuinely cares about me because he can be really nice but when we argue he brings up my past and makes me feel so small and guilty about myself and I’m trying to forget my past because since I met him I regret all my party girl behaviour and I stopped.

He can go for a few days without talking to me after an argument and I just wait for him to call or come over and he will come and apologise and I’ll stupidly forgive him because I love him but deep down I know he mentally abuses and slut shames me. I say to him if you found out about all this why didn’t you just leave me and why do you still choose to have sex with me if you think I’m such a slut but he always avoids the question. He also thinks I’m cheating on him even though I don’t speak to any other boys and I don’t have any friends and I hardly ever leave the house.

When he phones me and I don’t pick up for whatever reason he will leave me abusive messages accusing me of cheating. This isn’t an easy situation for me to get out of because I love him and I live in my own place and I don’t really speak to my parents only my mum but I couldn’t go and live with her as one of my sisters already lives with her and her house isn’t that big. He lives a couple of roads away but I’ve never met his family because he’s Asian and I’m white and they wouldn’t approve of me...YET.

I really don’t know what to do because even a year down the line he’s still nasty and abusive and I don’t think it will ever change because I’ve only ever stood up to him once and he went absolutely nuts and started trashing the place and I didn’t hear from him for 4 days.

There’s not really anyone else I can speak to about this which is why I posted because I wondered if anyone else was in a similar situation. Another thing is that he smokes weed and I know that makes him paranoid that I’m cheating.

He sounds crazy. I mean it.
Its hard to loose that sort of reputation
Original post by Angel1997x
So me and my bf have been together for a year now but about 3 months into the relationship he found out about my past because I was too ashamed to tell him and I just wanted to forget it but I went through a bad time when I was 18 while my parents were splitting up and I didn’t take it well so I started going out partying taking drugs and drinking and letting people take advantage of me even though I didn’t actually want to sleep with them.

Turns out my boyfriend knew a few of the people because it was in the same kinda area but since he found out literally every time we have an argument he calls me a ho, ****, slut, dirtbag, scumbag - literally every bad name you could call someone. When I met him I thought I’d finally found someone who genuinely cares about me because he can be really nice but when we argue he brings up my past and makes me feel so small and guilty about myself and I’m trying to forget my past because since I met him I regret all my party girl behaviour and I stopped.

He can go for a few days without talking to me after an argument and I just wait for him to call or come over and he will come and apologise and I’ll stupidly forgive him because I love him but deep down I know he mentally abuses and slut shames me. I say to him if you found out about all this why didn’t you just leave me and why do you still choose to have sex with me if you think I’m such a slut but he always avoids the question. He also thinks I’m cheating on him even though I don’t speak to any other boys and I don’t have any friends and I hardly ever leave the house.

When he phones me and I don’t pick up for whatever reason he will leave me abusive messages accusing me of cheating. This isn’t an easy situation for me to get out of because I love him and I live in my own place and I don’t really speak to my parents only my mum but I couldn’t go and live with her as one of my sisters already lives with her and her house isn’t that big. He lives a couple of roads away but I’ve never met his family because he’s Asian and I’m white and they wouldn’t approve of me...YET.

I really don’t know what to do because even a year down the line he’s still nasty and abusive and I don’t think it will ever change because I’ve only ever stood up to him once and he went absolutely nuts and started trashing the place and I didn’t hear from him for 4 days.

There’s not really anyone else I can speak to about this which is why I posted because I wondered if anyone else was in a similar situation. Another thing is that he smokes weed and I know that makes him paranoid that I’m cheating.


Nasty , abusive, disrespectful, doesnt care for you?

Why would you want to be with someone like that?

A real friend would be supportive, kind, caring and respectful

Leave him and find someone better. Its a really horrible thing to do to another human being, never mind someone who is supposed to care for you.

He is bad news and will cause you a lot if unhappiness plus destroy your self esteem. Get away from him.

ps the paragraphs made it readable.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by chewy suarez
Man ain't reading all that
Put some paragraphs in that mess


i love your name & pic

...but i prefer arragontaldo
Original post by garethbale
i love your name & pic

...but i prefer arragontaldo


nah, all bout Lionel messigician (way better than Ronaldog)
It's a YouTube channel called 442oons, that's where I got it from.
There hilarious. Have a look
Dump him, you deserve much better
Original post by chewy suarez
nah, all bout Lionel messigician (way better than Ronaldog)
It's a YouTube channel called 442oons, that's where I got it from.
There hilarious. Have a look


I know I watch their vids all the time :smile:
Reply 17
tbh you were acting like a ****
Leave him. Staying with him will only make you miserable and you cannot change him as much as you may like to believe.
Leave him. He'll just carry on because you let him.

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