I'm scared of my friends

Hi.

I'm in sixth form now and I only really came here with two previous school friends. In year 11 there were four of us but I didn't like the fourth member of the friendship group because she was disrespectful and downright just generally a bad person. So one day I stood up for someone that she was harassing and she totally freaked out and said that I shouldn't try to change her and she wasn't wrong for acting this way. Anyway, its been a couple of months since that incident and she went to a different college but my other two friends are still friends with her. I know they text her daily and this girl is always rubbing up to my friends telling them how beautiful and perfect they are. I feel like she only does this to rub what I 'lost' from going against her in my face.

Now I'm scared because I'm pretty sure she is trying to turn my only two friends against me. I'm concious of everything I say to them because I'm so sure that they will report anything I say back to her so she can use it as a weapon for creating more hatred.

I know you might say to just ditch these two people for some other friends but please understand that they are all I have and if I ditch them then they may ruin any future friendships I make.

Is there anything I could possibly do to make this better? its making me very stressed and sad that I feel like I have to isolate myself from them. Please help.

Reply 1

LlamaLikeEllie

Get yourself out there at your college. Try and join clubs, and talk to other people in your lessons. Hopefully you will make some new friends this way, and then you can leave your old friend group if they're making you feel this way. Until then, I would just hang in there with your old friends. If they're not saying anything bad towards you, then you shouldn't have a huge problem. It's only at breaks and lunch anyway.

I do understand your situation. I've been in friend groups where all we did was argue, and there was huge splits in the group. In year 10, we kind of split into 2 halves, and some people would report everything we said to the other half, and it was a really tense and unhappy time. I also know what you mean about feeling stuck though, as I've never really felt like I've had a true best friend that I could go to, and I do feel quite lonely often.

This other girl sounds horrible. On one hand, she might just be giving them compliments because she genuinely means it. You know her best though, so you can make a judgement. If they do choose her, and you have no-one else, I would suggest just leaving the group. You can use your breaks and lunch to study, and then it's a win win because you've got yourself out of the negativity, and you get more time to work :smile:

Sorry for the really long post, but overall you have to make some judgement here. Can you be honest with your friends, or will that end in chaos? I think your friends are also at fault here too, because they're holding onto something that happened in the past, which you did for good reason. If you have someone else to sit with at break or lunch, you might be best just distancing yourself from them. It sounds like a bit of a toxic group if I'm honest.

I'm scared of my friends

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