16 year old kicked out by mother

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susan abler
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#1
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#1
Hello everyone,

I have a 16 year old boy (friend of my daughter) who has been kicked out by his mother. He is currently staying with us but I don't know how to get him any assistance. He obviously doesn't want his mother to get in any trouble and doesn't want to end up in foster care. He is a good boy, and even with everything that is going on, he has still chosen to attend collage. I don't think there is much hope that his mother will come to her senses and realise she is still legally responsible for her son as her mentality is "I was kicked out a 16 and I survived" So anyone have any idea how I can help this young man?
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Tiger Rag
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#2
Report 4 years ago
#2
(Original post by susan abler)
Hello everyone,

I have a 16 year old boy (friend of my daughter) who has been kicked out by his mother. He is currently staying with us but I don't know how to get him any assistance. He obviously doesn't want his mother to get in any trouble and doesn't want to end up in foster care. He is a good boy, and even with everything that is going on, he has still chosen to attend collage. I don't think there is much hope that his mother will come to her senses and realise she is still legally responsible for her son as her mentality is "I was kicked out a 16 and I survived" So anyone have any idea how I can help this young man?
Has he (or you) talked to someone like the council? There should also be young peoples' charities in his area like Connexions?
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Crumpet1
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#3
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#3
How terribly sad. Are there any relations he could look to - grandparent or great aunt/uncle, aunt or uncle, etc?
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AcadeMia.
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#4
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#4
Oh that is awful to hear, any relatives willing to take him in?
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susan abler
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#5
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(Original post by Tiger Rag)
Has he (or you) talked to someone like the council? There should also be young peoples' charities in his area like Connexions?
Thank you. I will look into it. He is very concerned that his mother will get in trouble if he talks to the wrong people or he may be forced to go in foster care. I have told him, he can stay here while we get it all sorted.

He only has an ailing grandmother.
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susan abler
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#6
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(Original post by Crumpet1)
How terribly sad. Are there any relations he could look to - grandparent or great aunt/uncle, aunt or uncle, etc?
Unfortunately, he has no relatives that can take him,
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susan abler
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#7
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#7
(Original post by AcadeMia.)
Oh that is awful to hear, any relatives willing to take him in?
None. I'll help as much as I can but unfortunately, I was just made redundant from my job, so it a little tough right now. But if I can get him some additional help, it will all work out hopefully.
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Crumpet1
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#8
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#8
This from my mum who is a retired social worker:

Parental responsibility doesn't end till 18. The young person, or friend's Mum should contact Social Services tomorrow. Lots of issues eg financial support, ongoing education or training (compulsory till 18), who could give permission for an operation if they were unconscious etc etc. Nobody would be 'in trouble' but social services would want to talk to the young person and parents and try to mend relationship if possible. I can find number if you need it.
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Youthwork95
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#9
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#9
Hi Susan

he could contact childline - they are confidential. Or contact the closest NACRO centre they can help get hime housed.

(Original post by susan abler)
Hello everyone,

I have a 16 year old boy (friend of my daughter) who has been kicked out by his mother. He is currently staying with us but I don't know how to get him any assistance. He obviously doesn't want his mother to get in any trouble and doesn't want to end up in foster care. He is a good boy, and even with everything that is going on, he has still chosen to attend collage. I don't think there is much hope that his mother will come to her senses and realise she is still legally responsible for her son as her mentality is "I was kicked out a 16 and I survived" So anyone have any idea how I can help this young man?
2
Stunted Elf
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#10
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#10
(Original post by susan abler)
Hello everyone,

I have a 16 year old boy (friend of my daughter) who has been kicked out by his mother. He is currently staying with us but I don't know how to get him any assistance. He obviously doesn't want his mother to get in any trouble and doesn't want to end up in foster care. He is a good boy, and even with everything that is going on, he has still chosen to attend collage. I don't think there is much hope that his mother will come to her senses and realise she is still legally responsible for her son as her mentality is "I was kicked out a 16 and I survived" So anyone have any idea how I can help this young man?
My Parents kicked me out at 16 so I have some understanding of this situation.

First of all don't even worry about the care system, he is too old for them to have any interest or authority. And the local council etc are unlikely to be of any help either.

His best bet is to get a job as he is too young to claim income support (unless he can get pregnant they won't help him or provide housing).

It's a tough situation, i've been there but at 16 he is both too old and too young to get any support from the state. his only viable option at this point is to find work, I managed to work nights in a local slaughter house and weekends at Alton towers so that I had days free to go to college, perhaps he could manage that its hard work but possible.

I hope he makes it...
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Purdy7
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#11
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#11
If I remember rightly it's illegal to chuck any 16 year old (or younger) out and make the deliberately homeless (from a rental point of view). Make him approach the council social services and explain the situation. They must rehouse him, as it's illegal for anyone at the age of 16 or under to be homeless, the council must rehouse him.

He should contact the YMCA, or a charity called Street Link that deals with homeless teenagers.

Another good source is the Salvation Army, as they have some great resources for the homeless, they even do a missing children's help line.

Is his father on the scene, he might be able to help?

As for his mother, as it's been said before, she is still responsible for him, and as such cannot simply chuck him out, without another place for him to go. I'm not sure she still may well be getting child benefit for him until he has found a job. I know my parents were for me. That money is for him, and as such he should receive it, or it should be stopped if he is no longer living with her. It needs to go to the person who is buying clothes, food etc for him. He may even been given a guardian for his care and well being.

If he is still at school, he must tell the school the situation, as they may have resources that can help.

Unfortunately some parents do not know the law as regarding minors, but the law is behind the teenager, so he shouldn't worry. As for his mother she needs good kick up the pants, and yes I'm old enough to be the teenagers mother, and I would never under any circumstance chuck a child out on to the streets.
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Tiger Rag
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#12
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#12
(Original post by Stunted Elf)
My Parents kicked me out at 16 so I have some understanding of this situation.

First of all don't even worry about the care system, he is too old for them to have any interest or authority. And the local council etc are unlikely to be of any help either.

His best bet is to get a job as he is too young to claim income support (unless he can get pregnant they won't help him or provide housing).

It's a tough situation, i've been there but at 16 he is both too old and too young to get any support from the state. his only viable option at this point is to find work, I managed to work nights in a local slaughter house and weekends at Alton towers so that I had days free to go to college, perhaps he could manage that its hard work but possible.

I hope he makes it...
You can claim income support at 16 if you're estranged from your parents.
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username2538449
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#13
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#13
Let him talk to his mother with a social worker. Maybe explain her the consequences. I don't know why he got kicked out but let him work on that reason as well.
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Stunted Elf
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#14
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#14
(Original post by Tiger Rag)
You can claim income support at 16 if you're estranged from your parents.
Yes that is true (at least it was when I was homeless at 16) but this guy wants to continue his education, they won't let him go to college if he's on benefits, I tried that and when the jobcenter scumbags saw me entering the college (it was just over the road) they investigated and stopped my benefits.

The problem is that benefits are either for people out of work and looking for work, (JSA) or out of work and raising kids (Income support) there is no benefit that you can claim for attending school/college
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Purdy7
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#15
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#15
If he wants to go to college, he can but just not in the hours he wouldn't look for work, so in the evenings and at the weekend. However, he must only do 16 hours /part time college education or the JSA/benefits will say his in full time education. Likewise if he wants to volunteer that comes into the 16 hours as well as the education.
Last edited by Purdy7; 3 years ago
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Mand2011
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#16
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#16
Maybe you haven't been pushed to the limit wiv a teen yet! I personally know how hard it is, as of yet, no I haven't kicked my teen out but am seriously considering doing so. Until uv gone through the pain hurt n worry no one can judge.
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Gracey-May
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#17
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#17
As a parent you have a legal right to look after your child until they're out of school age, in the U.K. That is 18, I recommend you take him to social services, no one will get in trouble but they will help him sort out his future, anyone backing up or saying they would easily give up their child is a disgrace!
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UuuArinze
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#18
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#18
I’m 11 years old and am about to get kicked out my house and family I need advice
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Rachrr32
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#19
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#19
I totally agree. My daughter has just turned 16 and she makes life for me and my younger children hell at times. She is also physically violent towards me and her brother. My 8 year old us a nervous wreck because of this. I have tried and tried for over a year but we keep ending up in the same predicament. I am seriously considering moving her in with her grandmother as hard as it is. It's not fair on the other kids or me
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Rachrr32
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#20
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#20
I totally agree. My daughter has just turned 16 and she makes life for me and my younger children hell at times. She is also physically violent towards me and her brother. My 8 year old us a nervous wreck because of this. I have tried and tried for over a year but we keep ending up in the same predicament. I am seriously considering moving her in with her grandmother as hard as it is. It's not fair on the other kids or me
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