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    This time last year, I joined a new school for sixth form. I did not make any friends for about 8 months and I would sit alone in EVERY lesson. Till this day (I am in year 13), I do not have anyone who I can talk to in my lessons. I do have friends but there's so many in the group that I only can be myself with one of them. She is not in any of my classes. Every day I have this deep thought that I will fail because I am too shy in school or I have really bad anxiety which will prevent me from succeeding. I hate feeling like this every day, IT'S RUINING ME AS A PERSON! When I begin writing, I immediately think "Do I sound dumb?" "Am I giving enough information?" And my Media teachers and one of my health and social care teachers are unhelpful.
    In year 11 I was myself, I was dedicated, had loads of friends and I was just positive. When I joined Year 13 people would just underestimate me like crazy. Sometimes they act as if I am dumb or childish. I have been through an unnecessary amount of sh*t in this school and I honestly cannot wait to leave for uni. It's my last year and I just think I will not meet the requirements to do my chosen course I am in pain from all of this and the teachers haven't done a single bit to help me!
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    what changed between years 11 and 13? is your family life ok, for example?
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    This is not advice but

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    I feel you. You are not alone.
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    (Original post by jokyb)
    what changed between years 11 and 13? is your family life ok, for example?
    My family life got worse too. I did not feel comfortable with my mum, she just kept consistently picking on me, not in a jokey way. It's like she would be nice to be fake and act mean and use what I say. she backbites. I made the first move of not talking to her AT ALL and ngl I think I feel better because she is not bothering me but she keeps begging for my attention. everyone is just making me feel like absolute crap! I want to succeed and prove them wrong but i dont think i have the guts to no matter how much effort i put in, there's always that.thing telling me i cant do it
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    (Original post by aj89754)
    My family life got worse too. I did not feel comfortable with my mum, she just kept consistently picking on me, not in a jokey way. It's like she would be nice to be fake and act mean and use what I say. she backbites. I made the first move of not talking to her AT ALL and ngl I think I feel better because she is not bothering me but she keeps begging for my attention. everyone is just making me feel like absolute crap! I want to succeed and prove them wrong but i dont think i have the guts to no matter how much effort i put in, there's always that.thing telling me i cant do it
    A similar thing happened to me in high school, I don't know much about your situation but from this, it does sound like your family life has shaken your confidence/self esteem. I wish I had some advice to give It's hard having people putting you down all the time, even worse when it's your mum. I feel for you bro and I wish I could help more.

    And all those people that make you feel like crap, I want you to succeed and prove them wrong as well. Hell, if you're doubting yourself, prove yourself wrong too whilst you're at it! You can achieve anything you set your mind to, it's cliche I know but if you work hard enough, you can be succesful 100%
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    I think you should have a strict conversation with your mother and explain exactly how her behaviour is so badly affecting your school life (and even your uni prospects)... It's clear she has deep-set issues too from your description, I wonder if she can be coaxed into talking about them with you or even a professional... Maybe she won't care - but it's important to try anyway.

    Back to your social situation - I'm so sorry you're dealing with that crap. Schools can be often be the most pitiless of places, especially when you're new... I honestly don't think that you can reinvent yourself after so much time has already passed and so little is left.

    But, do you really want to? What can be gained from seeking the approval of such vacuous people? You need to become comfortable with who you are as an individual before fretting over the opinions of others. There is, however, no quick or easy way to do this. You will have to invest a lot of time and energy into bettering your self-esteem, self-respect, and general mental health. All starting with baby steps. Set yourself small and achievable goals every day and steadily ramp them up the more time passes and the more your confidence grows. For example - go on a run for x miles, or whatever. Join a club in your local area that does y activity you're interested in. The list is endless.

    If you stay true on this path I promise you that you will get better. There is a beautiful quote that I think sums this up quite nicely which I'd like to share:

    "Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor."

    Godspeed.
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    (Original post by basicallyshrek)
    A similar thing happened to me in high school, I don't know much about your situation but from this, it does sound like your family life has shaken your confidence/self esteem. I wish I had some advice to give It's hard having people putting you down all the time, even worse when it's your mum. I feel for you bro and I wish I could help more.

    And all those people that make you feel like crap, I want you to succeed and prove them wrong as well. Hell, if you're doubting yourself, prove yourself wrong too whilst you're at it! You can achieve anything you set your mind to, it's cliche I know but if you work hard enough, you can be succesful 100%
    Wow, thank u so much this has encouraged me
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    (Original post by jokyb)
    I think you should have a strict conversation with your mother and explain exactly how her behaviour is so badly affecting your school life (and even your uni prospects)... It's clear she has deep-set issues too from your description, I wonder if she can be coaxed into talking about them with you or even a professional... Maybe she won't care - but it's important to try anyway.

    Back to your social situation - I'm so sorry you're dealing with that crap. Schools can be often be the most pitiless of places, especially when you're new... I honestly don't think that you can reinvent yourself after so much time has already passed and so little is left.

    But, do you really want to? What can be gained from seeking the approval of such vacuous people? You need to become comfortable with who you are as an individual before fretting over the opinions of others. There is, however, no quick or easy way to do this. You will have to invest a lot of time and energy into bettering your self-esteem, self-respect, and general mental health. All starting with baby steps. Set yourself small and achievable goals every day and steadily ramp them up the more time passes and the more your confidence grows. For example - go on a run for x miles, or whatever. Join a club in your local area that does y activity you're interested in. The list is endless.

    If you stay true on this path I promise you that you will get better. There is a beautiful quote that I think sums this up quite nicely which I'd like to share:

    "Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor."

    Godspeed.
    I spoke to them ages ago multiple times but they dont do anything, they say yeah okay and then carry on their old habits. But thank u so much I will try to do what you say. Tbh I have already started by exercising and eating healthy!
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    In that case I'd recommend you keep contact with/exposure to them at the bare minimum, enough to get by. You shouldn't have to put up with, and risk pandering to, such a toxic environment. Focus on bettering yourself and preparing for university, then life beyond.

    Best of luck.
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    My whole life i had someone putting me down and mocking my avablities, and when you constantly get told "you won't be ****" or "your not smart enough to achieve", you end up believing it.
    One day I just said **** it, I'm going to do what I want because it's my life, I'm the only one who can determine my future.
    I have been thinking about the end goal for a while now, and slowly I'm starting to achieve everything that I was told I couldn't have or do.
    The only problem is that because I'm so focused on my goals, it's ****ed my social life up and god knows how you fix that lol.
 
 
 
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