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My friend wants to drop out of uni

Essentially, my friend has been in her new flat for two days and she's decided she doesn't want to be at uni. I'm really trying to get her to stay because she hasn't even tried to make any friends and the course hasn't even started yet.

Does anyone have any advice on how to help motivate someone to actually bother?

I usually would never consider pushing someone towards something they say they don't want to do but if she didn't want to go to uni then why did she apply, look around accommodation and sign up to a year contract on a stupid expensive apartment that is costing her parents £17k for 43 weeks (London)??

She's already gone home (yes after two days) saying she hates being in her apartment alone, the area, the uni (even though I'm more than sure she hasn't even been on a tour or seen any buildings), the people in her apartment building (I think they all have separate apartments but in one same high rise).

I'm struggling to sympathise because why did she not say all this before her parents paid the money? Why did she not bother about the area when she looked around but all of a sudden its an issue? Why is she complaining she doesn't feel involved when she hasn't walked up to one person to introduce herself?

I know for certain her parents didn't push her into going to uni so it isn't that. They even offered her an amazing opportunity at her mums work (That would be a dream for me, even the luxury of your apartment at uni would be a dream for me which is why I don't know if I'm being too harsh or not). I don't understand. All she did leading up to uni was moan she has nothing much to do until uni, and now she's moaning she doesn't even want to do that now so I don't know what to say.

Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks
Original post by Anonymous
Essentially, my friend has been in her new flat for two days and she's decided she doesn't want to be at uni. I'm really trying to get her to stay because she hasn't even tried to make any friends and the course hasn't even started yet.

Does anyone have any advice on how to help motivate someone to actually bother?

I usually would never consider pushing someone towards something they say they don't want to do but if she didn't want to go to uni then why did she apply, look around accommodation and sign up to a year contract on a stupid expensive apartment that is costing her parents £17k for 43 weeks (London)??

She's already gone home (yes after two days) saying she hates being in her apartment alone, the area, the uni (even though I'm more than sure she hasn't even been on a tour or seen any buildings), the people in her apartment building (I think they all have separate apartments but in one same high rise).

I'm struggling to sympathise because why did she not say all this before her parents paid the money? Why did she not bother about the area when she looked around but all of a sudden its an issue? Why is she complaining she doesn't feel involved when she hasn't walked up to one person to introduce herself?

I know for certain her parents didn't push her into going to uni so it isn't that. They even offered her an amazing opportunity at her mums work (That would be a dream for me, even the luxury of your apartment at uni would be a dream for me which is why I don't know if I'm being too harsh or not). I don't understand. All she did leading up to uni was moan she has nothing much to do until uni, and now she's moaning she doesn't even want to do that now so I don't know what to say.

Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks



Maybe start off with asking her why she feels like this - her change in attitude does sound a bit sudden so she might be having some issues adapting to the move? Do you go to the same uni as her? You could also try asking her why she wanted to come to uni in the first place- just what was she hoping to achieve and whether that is more important than her current issue making her not want to attend anymore? Encouraging her to socialise may help a great deal so perhaps try persuading her to look at the societies her uni offers - if she shows any interest tell her to join - she can meet like minded people and begin to enjoy staying at uni.

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