The Student Room Group

I Can't Think Of A Better Title Than A Standard "So there's this girl..."

Please keep this anonymous as lots of my friends use this and often go through my posts and I really don't want them to see this. If you REALLY want to de-anon it, just delete it.

(Just to save any confusion, I'm a guy)

Right so this girl is in my biology class and I really like her but I don't think she has even the FAINTEST idea that I like her. For most of this year, she's barely even said a word to me up until a certain week where I did something for her which she really appreciated and she gave me a hug and has started talking to me more. But she's really friendly with pretty much everyone.

Now because she doesn't have the faintest idea, I'm thinking of getting a friend of mine to basically just tell her that I like her over Facebook or something. I'm hoping that if she likes me, she will then "make a move" or something. If she doesn't, then it'll just be less awkward than me directly asking her. It's not so much that I'm scared of asking her out or anything (which I am, by the way, but it's not the main reason for why I won't), it's that I'd have to go through about 6 months of biology with her which would get really awkward. Plus people in our year talk a LOT (my form tutor loves talking about her) and I wouldn't like to be constantly reminded about any rejection. So as to save the super-awkwardness on both sides, I think it's best to get my friend to tell her.

Am I being stupid here or does this sound alright?

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Reply 1
Don't get your friend to tell her. If you won't make the effort or take the risk, why should she? If you absolutely can't face it and you happen to be close to or trust one of her friends maybe you could get them to subtly find out what she thinks of you but don't get someone else to tell her for you. It won't endear you to her at all.
Reply 2
Oh I mean like I'd get him to say that he's just wondering if she likes me as well. He'd pretend like I haven't asked him to do this and I have no clue that he's doing it.
Reply 3
Anonymous
Oh I mean like I'd get him to say that he's just wondering if she likes me as well. He'd pretend like I haven't asked him to do this and I have no clue that he's doing it.


That's still incredibly obvious unless he happens to talk to her about that stuff a lot. Seriously, just ask her yourself. Either way she finds out you like her and you find out if she likes you back.
Reply 4
Gamble!! Women expect guys to make the first move, and will be put off if he dosnt have it in himself to ask her himself.

If it fails who cares? She will know your arround if she changes her mind.
Reply 5
I decided to send it anyway. She read it yesterday but she hasn't replied to either me or my friend. Will she just forget about it? Will she reply to my friend? Or will she just directly contact me? If interested, the message said:

"hey person how r u? i was chattin to anonymous1 few days ago nd i reckon he really likes u. wat do u think?"
Just talk to her and get to know her. Don't randomly spring it on her.
Reply 7
Anonymous
"hey person how r u? i was chattin to anonymous1 few days ago nd i reckon he really likes u. wat do u think?"


Unbelievably obvious, especially if she knows that you're friends with whoever sent the message. Should've taken Meliae's advice!
Reply 8
You took the gamble which was good! Shame you did the playground equivalent of my mate really thinks your fit!
Anonymous
Please keep this anonymous as lots of my friends use this and often go through my posts and I really don't want them to see this. If you REALLY want to de-anon it, just delete it.

(Just to save any confusion, I'm a guy)

Right so this girl is in my biology class and I really like her but I don't think she has even the FAINTEST idea that I like her. For most of this year, she's barely even said a word to me up until a certain week where I did something for her which she really appreciated and she gave me a hug and has started talking to me more. But she's really friendly with pretty much everyone.

Now because she doesn't have the faintest idea, I'm thinking of getting a friend of mine to basically just tell her that I like her over Facebook or something. I'm hoping that if she likes me, she will then "make a move" or something. If she doesn't, then it'll just be less awkward than me directly asking her. It's not so much that I'm scared of asking her out or anything (which I am, by the way, but it's not the main reason for why I won't), it's that I'd have to go through about 6 months of biology with her which would get really awkward. Plus people in our year talk a LOT (my form tutor loves talking about her) and I wouldn't like to be constantly reminded about any rejection. So as to save the super-awkwardness on both sides, I think it's best to get my friend to tell her.

Am I being stupid here or does this sound alright?

Hi there, I've recently been approached by a publishing firm which has asked me to consider writing something for them. The working title of the book is A History of Awful Ideas: from Adam and Eve's culinary adventures to the Present. The reason I mention this fact is that I was wondering whether I might be able to use your plan as the foundation for the second half of the tome? After some introductory preamble, I would introduce your idea (probably in fact with some quotation from this thread), I would analyse exactly why it's such a godawful idea and I would then draw comparisons between your plan and Japan's rather unwise decision to bomb Pearl Harbour. I may even add in a little snippet on the underlying similarities between Marie Antoinette's dessert endorsement for the angry French masses and your scheme. Is that alright?
Reply 10
Well I can't just go up to her now and be like "Ok yeah, so you know that message you got? It was actually pretty much me who sent it". I have to now go down this path. But seriously, why do you think it's obvious that I sent it? If someone sent it to me, I wouldn't necessarily think that.

Sehnsucht
Hi there, I've recently been approached by a publishing firm which has asked me to consider writing something for them. The working title of the book is A History of Awful Ideas: from Adam and Eve's culinary adventures to the Present. The reason I mention this fact is that I was wondering whether I might be able to use your plan as the foundation for the second half of the tome? After some introductory preamble, I would introduce your idea (probably in fact with some quotation from this thread), I would analyse exactly why it's such a godawful idea and I would then draw comparisons between your plan and Japan's rather unwise decision to bomb Pearl Harbour. I may even add in a little snippet on the underlying similarities between Marie Antoinette's dessert endorsement for the angry French masses and your scheme. Is that alright?


That's funny on so many levels. If you're being serious, then no, I don't mind you comparing my love life to Japan's unwise decision to bomb Pearl Harbour thereby resulting in Hitler pretty much losing WW2. You might want to wait till mid-January when I see her again (we're on holiday right now) to hear what ultimately happened.
Reply 11
Sehnsucht
Hi there, I've recently been approached by a publishing firm which has asked me to consider writing something for them. The working title of the book is A History of Awful Ideas: from Adam and Eve's culinary adventures to the Present. The reason I mention this fact is that I was wondering whether I might be able to use your plan as the foundation for the second half of the tome? After some introductory preamble, I would introduce your idea (probably in fact with some quotation from this thread), I would analyse exactly why it's such a godawful idea and I would then draw comparisons between your plan and Japan's rather unwise decision to bomb Pearl Harbour. I may even add in a little snippet on the underlying similarities between Marie Antoinette's dessert endorsement for the angry French masses and your scheme. Is that alright?

:rofl: I frikkin love you. I need to give you more rep when I can.


@ The OP - You seriously should have listened to the advice you were given. Why should she like you if she has hardly spoken a word to you before? I mean, fair enough, you like her from a distance so she might too, but next time, please just talk to the girl a bit more, flirt, and then mention your feelings yourself. Getting your friend to ask a girl out for you is pretty lame (not to mention obvious).

Why is it obvious? What kind of friend goes around meddling in peoples' crushes without okaying it with their friend first? Why else would *your* friend write her out of the blue to ask about that? Unless they talk about those things already, it's going to seem out of place and she'll jump to conclusions.

Best of luck, really, now that it's done, but try another approach next time.
Reply 12
I agree that you should have taken basically EVERYONE'S advice but now that you have sent the message and if she definately knows you like her, then yeah it will be embaressing at first. But over time you might start liking someone else and that embaressment will just disappear!
Its happened to me many a time, at the time I was always mortified but I got over it!
Reply 13
Asking someone out who you've properly talked to only a couple of times is a bit childish.

Try inviting her when you and some friends (including both male and female friends) are doing something, like going to the movies or something similar.

If she shows up, then you can try asking her out properly. If you don't want to be direct, try something like "I'm tired of doing this essay I've been given over the Christmas, you wanna go down to the bar for a drink later tonight?"
Reply 14
She probably won't reply, it sounds like a wind-up. Now you've got to start thinking damage control! If someone had sent me that message, I would be a bit weird around the person in question thinking it was some kind of bizarre wind-up. Just say oh god, my mate thinks he's so hilarious leaving people messages like that, sorry if it made you uncomfortable. This should make her think you are normal and your mate is the mentalist. Then use it as an excuse to make conversation and get to know her. Once you get to know her a bit you can ask her out somewhere and not scare her. Good luck!
Reply 15
It's not like I've barely even spoken to her. Ever since the time I did something for her, we've been talking a lot more. She's left me a few messages over Facebook. She's asked me about UCAS stuff a few times. And random bits in between our lessons.

While I do like the above plan, I don't want my friend to come off like that. Plus I still do want her to sort of do something about this. But from the looks of it, she isn't replying. I really wish she'd just reply saying just anything (good or bad).
Reply 16
Sehnsucht
Hi there, I've recently been approached by a publishing firm which has asked me to consider writing something for them. The working title of the book is A History of Awful Ideas: from Adam and Eve's culinary adventures to the Present. The reason I mention this fact is that I was wondering whether I might be able to use your plan as the foundation for the second half of the tome? After some introductory preamble, I would introduce your idea (probably in fact with some quotation from this thread), I would analyse exactly why it's such a godawful idea and I would then draw comparisons between your plan and Japan's rather unwise decision to bomb Pearl Harbour. I may even add in a little snippet on the underlying similarities between Marie Antoinette's dessert endorsement for the angry French masses and your scheme. Is that alright?

:giggle: Wish I hadn't used up today's rep!
Reply 17
Do not, I repeat, do not get someone else to tell her you like her. The only way she will appreciate it, is if you tell her face to face.

The worst that can happen is that she'll turn you down, and if she does, so what? There's plenty more fish and all...
Reply 18
Anonymous
Well I can't just go up to her now and be like "Ok yeah, so you know that message you got? It was actually pretty much me who sent it". I have to now go down this path. But seriously, why do you think it's obvious that I sent it? If someone sent it to me, I wouldn't necessarily think that.


SEXIST COMMENT WARNING: that appears to be a guy thing... every single girl I know would immeadiately think "ok... so he likes me and got his friend to tell me. that's kind of year-7-ish of him..."

I agree with the idea of saying something like "sorry about my friend, he thinks he's such a joker etc" because even though she'll still think it was you it makes it less wierd and opens the conversation so you can talk about it jokingly and try and judge her feelings about you.
well I think it was fair enough, provided your friend isn't a total berk and she vaguely trusts him, I don't see why it won't work. it wasn't like he said "will you go out with anonymous 1?". just informing her, it might work out fine.