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Guys: is being shy a turnoff?

I started talking to a guy on OkC who was great and we had loads in common. We then started speaking on FB for a few weeks and things were going really well. He asked me out and I replied warning him I could be shy. He's been online loads since then but no response. Is being shy really that much if a turn off? I've met up with three people before and told them I was shy before meeting and it always turned out great because they knew what to expect. It's a big insecurity for me so I'd rather people know beforehand than realise when it's too late.

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Reply 1
Avatar for UWS
UWS
21
No but you shouldn't have been insecure in front of him like that. Let him decide for himself if it's a turnoff, don't give him a reason to reject you.
(edited 6 years ago)
Reply 2
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math42
20
Nope.
Reply 3
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by UWS
No but you shouldn't have been insecure in front of him like that. Let him decide for himself if it's a turnoff, don't give him a reason to reject you.


I get that, it's just my shyness is quite bad so it makes me feel better to let people know in advance. And it's always gone down well before.

Maybe my message was a bit too much.
Being shy isn't a turnoff but someone who advertises how insecure they are is kinda scary
I don't mind girls being shy, it makes a girl more mysterious to me, and I get to unravel different aspects of her personality piece by piece:smile:

However, insecurity is a different matter.
Reply 6
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by King Leonidas
I don't mind girls being shy, it makes a girl more mysterious to me, and I get to unravel different aspects of her personality piece by piece:smile:

However, insecurity is a different matter.


Okay, I get that I've messed it up now.
It just makes me feel comfortable on the date when they know in advance. I've met 4 people online before and it worked out great every time.
I also struggle with this. Is there a good way to tell people or is it better to surprise?
And when I mean shyness I mean anxiety level.


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I've always let people know that I'm shy beforehand. If they're not interested then it's their loss. Yes,it's a bit insecure but nobody's perfect.
I think it's good to let someone know you're shy before you meet them, as it's sometimes seen as being rude when you're not. I'm shy so i know how you feel, it's annoying when people think it's you being rude.
I don't think it should be a turn off, personally i think it's good because then you don't know everything about the person straight away
I think my message was a bit over the top so in a way I don't blame him. It's just a shame that we messaged each other for weeks and it just took one moment of insecurity for it to all stop.
Not being shy is a turnoff for me lol.
Original post by Anonymous
I started talking to a guy on OkC who was great and we had loads in common. We then started speaking on FB for a few weeks and things were going really well. He asked me out and I replied warning him I could be shy. He's been online loads since then but no response. Is being shy really that much if a turn off? I've met up with three people before and told them I was shy before meeting and it always turned out great because they knew what to expect. It's a big insecurity for me so I'd rather people know beforehand than realise when it's too late.


No way I find shy girls really cute just that I'm shy myself so haven't dated any...

I wanna know do you think shy guys are a turnoff?
Reply 13
Avatar for UWS
UWS
21
Original post by Anonymous
I think my message was a bit over the top so in a way I don't blame him. It's just a shame that we messaged each other for weeks and it just took one moment of insecurity for it to all stop.


Oh wow, you talked on OkC for weeks without taking it to texts?
Original post by UWS
Oh wow, you talked on OkC for weeks without taking it to texts?


We messaged on FB soon after
Reply 15
Avatar for UWS
UWS
21
Original post by Anonymous
We messaged on FB soon after


Okay fair enough. Plenty of other other people to message anyway, it can get quite competitive.
Depends if she's shy around new people or just permanently shy and difficult to talk to lol.
What a refreshing question. No, shyness in females is not a turn off for males. Fortunately for you it is only in the reverse case that shyness is a hindrance in terms of appeal.
Original post by awkwardshortguy
What a refreshing question. No, shyness in females is not a turn off for males. Fortunately for you it is only in the reverse case that shyness is a hindrance in terms of appeal.


What if you got a message from the girl you were talking to saying how shy and awkward she was?
Original post by Anonymous
What if you got a message from the girl you were talking to saying how shy and awkward she was?


Then I'd feel relieved to know I wouldn't be the only one

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