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Should I ask this girl out? Watch

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    This is the only way you can move forward. If you do what you have always done, you will get what you always get. Confidence is built from doing the thing you are pants at over and over again. There is no shortcut. You will not magically turn into a confident person on your 25th birthday. Prepare to feel mortified if she says no - but that's it - it can't get any worse than that. I truly feel for you - but you are not 'average' as you mentioned. We all feel average, but are also special in one way or another. Do not let life get past you only because you are afraid to take the first step. No one can do it for you, I'm afraid. Best wishes and you can totally do it. Don't have an expectation that she will say yes. Just set a task for yourself to just ASK. You cannot control other people's behaviour - like what answer she will give, but you CAN be proactive. Try it. It works. 😊
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    feed the pony
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    (Original post by Dr_Hope)
    This is the only way you can move forward. If you do what you have always done, you will get what you always get. Confidence is built from doing the thing you are pants at over and over again. There is no shortcut. You will not magically turn into a confident person on your 25th birthday. Prepare to feel mortified if she says no - but that's it - it can't get any worse than that. I truly feel for you - but you are not 'average' as you mentioned. We all feel average, but are also special in one way or another. Do not let life get past you only because you are afraid to take the first step. No one can do it for you, I'm afraid. Best wishes and you can totally do it. Don't have an expectation that she will say yes. Just set a task for yourself to just ASK. You cannot control other people's behaviour - like what answer she will give, but you CAN be proactive. Try it. It works. 😊
    Yeah I agree with what you're saying but sometimes it's hard to change how I've always been. I want to be more confident and I know I can but I always struggle with the first step.
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    The choice is all yours!

    If you and the girl talk, then you most certainly have a chance! If you do decide to, try to be very casual about it and and try to make it sound more friendly than romantic when you do ask her. Girls really like confidence in guys (I know because I really like it!) So completely own your confidence like a boss!
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    It is hard. But life will get away if you don't act out of fear. My husband used to be very shy. He is still not hot on making new friends or talking to people he doesn't know. He used to get drunk in Uni, and only then would feel brave to go talk to a girl. But at one point he made a decision to try and do things differently. Obviously, he did not get a personality transplant. But now he acts even if he is scared - and now manages a large team, gives people disciplinaries, listens to their concerns... and yeah, he is married. 😄 You are making a big deal out of it for yourself but it's just saying 'how are you?' to the person you like - you can totally do it. ❤️
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    (Original post by Dr_Hope)
    It is hard. But life will get away if you don't act out of fear. My husband used to be very shy. He is still not hot on making new friends or talking to people he doesn't know. He used to get drunk in Uni, and only then would feel brave to go talk to a girl. But at one point he made a decision to try and do things differently. Obviously, he did not get a personality transplant. But now he acts even if he is scared - and now manages a large team, gives people disciplinaries, listens to their concerns... and yeah, he is married. 😄 You are making a big deal out of it for yourself but it's just saying 'how are you?' to the person you like - you can totally do it. ❤️
    This is a great post.

    Many, many men have been here and many will continue to come here. The problem is, men are by and large the initiators of romantic relationships. Showing agency in this regard is a manifestation of confidence and dominance, which, despite much commentary to the contrary of late, women like and see as inherently masculine and attractive attributes.

    Confidence and dominance extends further than external projection. They're also very much internal - pedestals and infatuation are hard to control, but will ultimately worsen the problem, as your brain convinces you your love interest will complete you as a person and will fill your self-worth void. Infatuation is a very dangerous drug for a brain with self-worth issues to feed on.

    You need to behave as if your love interest is disposable and that the next one will career around the corner as long as you are proactive. No big deal if she's not interested. She will not complete you, she will not define you, her romantic rejection - if it happens and it might not - does not mean you are worthless. If you are back on the horse straight away, you are more of a man than many, many men that sit for months and years moping about the one that got away.

    So yes - ask her out as soon as possible.
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    (Original post by Dr_Hope)
    It is hard. But life will get away if you don't act out of fear. My husband used to be very shy. He is still not hot on making new friends or talking to people he doesn't know. He used to get drunk in Uni, and only then would feel brave to go talk to a girl. But at one point he made a decision to try and do things differently. Obviously, he did not get a personality transplant. But now he acts even if he is scared - and now manages a large team, gives people disciplinaries, listens to their concerns... and yeah, he is married. 😄 You are making a big deal out of it for yourself but it's just saying 'how are you?' to the person you like - you can totally do it. ❤️
    I'm fine with saying things like "how are you" and having a conversation with her, it's just asking her out on a date that I'm unsure about.
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    Don't say the word 'date'. Say, 'Do you fancy getting a drink some time?'
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    ... 'I am metro enough to go for a pint OR a latte.' 😄
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    Ask her to play Rayman Legends on the Xbox 360 and she will be right in there with you!
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    (Original post by Dr_Hope)
    Don't say the word 'date'. Say, 'Do you fancy getting a drink some time?'
    Yeah if I asked I definitely wouldn't use the word date. I would probably just say the same thing that you suggested
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    ... WHEN you ask. Not if. You clearly want to do it, having spent days deliberating. Take a deep breath and do it.
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    (Original post by Dr_Hope)
    ... WHEN you ask. Not if. You clearly want to do it, having spent days deliberating. Take a deep breath and do it.
    I'll try but I'm only going to see her with other people so it's going to be hard to get her on her own to ask her
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    'Hey, can I talk to you for a second?' Nod ur head in any particular direction where you want to stand, somewhere slightly away from the crowd... then slowly move that way as she will follow. Then ask.
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    everyone including me will tell you 'yes', but you won't ever do it. you are already too scared that you feel the need to create this thread. and even already made bunch of excuse with difficult 'circumstances' to ask her out.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    everyone including me will tell you 'yes', but you won't ever do it. you are already too scared that you feel the need to create this thread. and even already made bunch of excuse with difficult 'circumstances' to ask her out.
    How have I made a bunch of excuses, the main thing I said is that it will be difficult to get her on her own to ask her
    • #2
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    BASED ZEUS

    htt ps://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qCrsO1Ecz
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    I mean https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qCrsO1Eczog

    Idk why an on
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    Hi just a quick update, I saw her today. I didn't ask her out but we did talk a lot, she kept making the effort to talk to me and even invited me to join another society with her. Does this sound like she could actually be interested?
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