Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Did I cheat?? ADVICE PLEASE Watch

Announcements
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    So me and my boyfriend got into a huge argument and broke up after about 4/5 days he came back and we're resolving it currently.
    I thought it was over he try to say to me In his head it wasn't he just needed time away and said we was ( childish).

    This guy I use to speak to before my boyfriend him and I use to speak deeply about his ex girlfriend and he wanted advice ect and help on his relationship with her. I stopped talking to him when I got with my boyfriend.

    The day me and my boyfriend broke up I messaged him and called him and said what happened with me and my boyfriend I was crying all day about it. After we got off the phone we spoke on messages for about 4days on and off about gym , my boyfriend. Ex at the time , summer ect.... he then started complimenting me and I avoided it because I didn't think much of it. He said to meet up to talk or grab something to eat I agreed but never was going to go I just cancelled, I felt bad for him giving me advice on my break up so I just agreed and told him I will but cancelled. He then started talking about my body and stuff because I said I've been loosing weight and want to go gym , he then said he wanted to feel and touch my body and that's when I completely went crazy at him on messages I then blocked him.

    My boyfriend came back on that day in the night and we spoke ect, I told him I spoke to a guy about the relationship he was Abit angry but I didn't say why I stopped talking to and that we was planning to meet.

    I feel sooooooo guilty my friends say there's nothing To feel guilty about because I didn't flirt or anything but I know how my boyfriend would take it he would go crazy and never trust me. The boy and him don't know eachother. Deep down inside I feel like telling him so I don't have this on my head but everyone telling me that there's nothing to tell. Because he said in his head it wasn't over made me feel so guilty and stuff. The fact that on the Same day I spoke to the guy made me feel guilty also.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Online

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Surely this can't be a genuine question.
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ)
    Surely this can't be a genuine question.
    Why? Please I feel very guilty it's been over my head for days now
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jennifer303)
    Why? Please I feel very guilty it's been over my head for days now
    Oopsie you didn't anon
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    You shouldn't have spoken to that guy in the first place. Don't you have anyone else you could tell? This is the point that leads to cheating allegations but all in all, no, you technically didn't cheat.
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by wonderuss)
    Oopsie you didn't anon
    I know! Sorry I'm just so stressed about it. Everyone's telling me not to tell him because there's nothing to tell but imagine he asks? What do I do. Have I cheated because in his head we wasn't over ? I told him the reason I deleted him was because out of respect for my boyfriend when he came back.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by wonderuss)
    You shouldn't have spoken to that guy in the first place. Don't you have anyone else you could tell? This is the point that leads to cheating allegations but all in all, no, you technically didn't cheat.
    Ok yes I know. I regret it so much in the moment I didn't regret it. And yes I have my friends but I just feel embarrassed talking to them it's better when it's someone you don't see if you know what I mean. We planned meeting up but I said I'm not coming out feeling sad about what happened still maybe next week. I was never going to meet him. When he did start flirting I completely went crazy at him and blocked.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    6
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jennifer303)
    Why? Please I feel very guilty it's been over my head for days now
    He means because you genuinely have not cheated on your boyfriend, there's no reason to even feel guilty. It's your choice whether or not you tell your boyfriend but I'm sure if he isn't a complete idiot he'll realise that you haven't done anything wrong. There's no reason to tell him but you also have nothing to hide so it doesn't really matter which you decide on. If he dumps you over it or starts having trust issues then he's an absolute dumbass.
    Online

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Why? Please I feel very guilty it's been over my head for days now
    All you did was talk to someone, why on earth would you think that counts as cheating?

    Out of curiosity, why did you stop talking to the other guy when you and your BF first got together?
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ)
    All you did was talk to someone, why on earth would you think that counts as cheating?

    Out of curiosity, why did you stop talking to the other guy when you and your BF first got together?
    Because me and the guy have never met and out of respect I just thought I wouldn't keep talking to him. Would rather focus on my relationship than friendships with other boys that haven't really grown. And also, it's just the fact that we planned to meet and he flirted with me. My boyfriend is already suspicious with the fact that he can't see the chat as the guy is blocked.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Online

    20
    ReputationRep:
    How can you cheat on your boyfriend if you didn't have a boyfriend at the time?
    Online

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jennifer303)
    Because me and the guy have never met and out of respect I just thought I wouldn't keep talking to him. Would rather focus on my relationship than friendships with other boys that haven't really grown. And also, it's just the fact that we planned to meet and he flirted with me. My boyfriend is already suspicious with the fact that he can't see the chat as the guy is blocked.
    You were no longer in a relationship with your boyfriend, you could've met up with this other guy and f***** him and you still wouldn't have been cheating on you're BF.

    Is this the first time you've had an argument which led to a "break up" with him?
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ)
    You were no longer in a relationship with your boyfriend, you could've met up with this other guy and f***** him and you still wouldn't have been cheating on you're BF.

    Is this the first time you've had an argument which led to a "break up" with him?
    No Because if he did that Anyone would say you clearly didn't have strong feelings for the person?
    No it isn't the first time however to me it felt like the last because of the seriousness of the argument.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    did he grab dat booty?
    Online

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jennifer303)
    No Because if he did that Anyone would say you clearly didn't have strong feelings for the person?
    No it isn't the first time however to me it felt like the last because of the seriousness of the argument.
    If you're constantly breaking up and getting back together with each other after arguments, you need to ask yourself if that's the type of relationship you want (especially as they almost never work out).
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ)
    If you're constantly breaking up and getting back together with each other after arguments, you need to ask yourself if that's the type of relationship you want (especially as they almost never work out).
    I know. We're trying to resolve things and make our relationship better and stronger we haven't spoke properly yet I do need advice on it hopefully all goes to plan atm.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Online

    17
    ReputationRep:
    What the reason you broke up in first place? You didn't cheat on him - you never did anything and you weren't attached. However, I can understand the other guy thinking that you liked him as you started talking more and more. I do think you shouldn't have reached out to him so quickly after you split.

    Whether you want to tell him is up to you. To be honest, from your point of view, I don't think there is anything to tell. If you tell your boyfriend, does it make things better?
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by cheesecakelove)
    What the reason you broke up in first place? You didn't cheat on him - you never did anything and you weren't attached. However, I can understand the other guy thinking that you liked him as you started talking more and more. I do think you shouldn't have reached out to him so quickly after you split.

    Whether you want to tell him is up to you. To be honest, from your point of view, I don't think there is anything to tell. If you tell your boyfriend, does it make things better?
    No it doesn't make things better because I know sometimes he thinks dramatically. It's just for me to get it off my mind it makes me feel better but it won't make the situation better. So do I lie if he says did you plan to meet up ? Or how long was you talking for? I know I shouldn't have gone to him so fast but I wanted to know from a boys point of view about the argument that happened in my relationship , he did the same to me about a year or two ago.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Online

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jennifer303)
    No it doesn't make things better because I know sometimes he thinks dramatically. It's just for me to get it off my mind it makes me feel better but it won't make the situation better. So do I lie if he says did you plan to meet up ? Or how long was you talking for? I know I shouldn't have gone to him so fast but I wanted to know from a boys point of view about the argument that happened in my relationship , he did the same to me about a year or two ago.
    If you can guess how he will react, perhaps you are better off not mentioning it, especially if he will make a big deal about it and keep asking you questions. Try to focus on the problems causing the arguments rather than this issue.
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by cheesecakelove)
    What the reason you broke up in first place? You didn't cheat on him - you never did anything and you weren't attached. However, I can understand the other guy thinking that you liked him as you started talking more and more. I do think you shouldn't have reached out to him so quickly after you split.

    Whether you want to tell him is up to you. To be honest, from your point of view, I don't think there is anything to tell. If you tell your boyfriend, does it make things better?
    My boyfriend also said why would you tell him anyways he probably just wanted sex off you. Little does he know we planned to meet but I didn't ! I cancelled and said maybe next week because I felt bad that I took out his time to listen to my problems. And my boyfriend was right !he started to flirt after 4 days. I said to him why do you keep complimenting me lol. And did say to him if your going to call me babe don't talk to me. Anyways moral of the story is I'm starting not to feel guilty because there is nothing to tell him I've told him I spoke to the guy just not told him how long. If he asks do I lie to avoid more allegations and suspicions of him?
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 9, 2017
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Will you be richer or poorer than your parents?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.